Update

I'm assessing the damages: A dog has peed twice on my carpet, Col came and went, Ger and Kev talked about work, Julie and Karry arrived and Ger and Julie were annoying while me and Karry kept our heads about us. Yet Ger and Julie kept talking: "we'll go to Cuba or Mexico" Sixteen hundred times they said this.

I'm not saying that Ger and Julie aren't annoying. Well yes I am actually. They are good people until you have to spend time with them. So when I'm kicked out of here someome is going to have to look after me.

So I have set up regulations when coming over:

I can't think of any but...I know one!

Don't foreget that I'm here.

Probably won't happen

Couln't hazard a guess. There is a problem with Shawn. I want all of us to figure out what it is and stop it. He probably is the instigator but we can't have that. Nope

Hello

Well hello everyone (if anyone is still checking out the blog). I've moved to downtown Creston into a nice one bedroom apartment overlooking the beautiful Royal Canadian Legion building. Well if not beautiful, at least historic (old in other words). A lot has happened since my last blog in August. A new job, a new apartment, a new pain (I think it's in my lower thromboid cortosis area) and hi-speed internet.

Take care everyone, I love you all.

I don't write about cats. But I must mention a cat. Cody. He's not a cat really, He's a furball that shouldn't be alive. Cody: "meow" "you have a feather in your jaws and you look guilty, and what do you do out there when I go to bed" One can't wake Cody during the day. Curled up in a ball. Good though, I suppose. I didn't know cats had brains.

This cat has brains, I'm sitting and relaxing for a bit and this cat is laying next to me and giving me signals about making sure I keep the water up and the catnip at hand. Cody, you are annoying and go to hell, Cats don't listen. Has anyone noticed that?

Remember everyone my e-mail is donstorm3@yahoo.ca. Not rogers anymore.

Take care all.

uncle

She is a cutie and Jaimie seemed so nice to me. I'm not sure if that is the correct spelling of Jaimie. The cutest relative in the history of mankind. Much cuter than Jim, Ger, and Kevin. Of course that is apples and oranges.

I think Julie and Kerry are buying a house. This news from Ger. It's sounds like a great deal and a win-win situation. If they survive my hanging them from a rafter while they writhe and I use their bodies as puppets in a carnival.

I saw Bob, Robin, Laurie, Ger, Jim, Julie, and Kevin. We are getting there, it's just a matter of time before Donna, Gail and Neil are among us. And of course Leo. One thing I've noticed since I've been here last. Things have changed. It's better.

I'm fairly good at recognizing stupid persons. And you all are. In a good way. Am I the Great Grand Poobah? Yes, what would you like to do with the family, grand poobah?:

"bury them in a garden and use their body parts as fertilzer" "you can't do that uncle don" "if possible hang them all from a forklift while I make a mass grave" "uncle don, you can't do that either" "you are taking all the fun out my life, can I use them as mulch?" "depending" "on what" "the season" "the season?" "yes uncle don, mulch is good in the fall but most of the family will be busy" "

The family "gathering"

Wow. The great grand poobah got to see Laurie and Robert, Robin and Karen, Bob and Lorraine, Jim, Brenda and Jaimie, Justin and Shayna and Brant. Julie and Kerry and the boys, Dawn and Stacey and family, Ger and Kerri (albeit briefly) and many, many others. I kind of enjoy being in the background and see it all unfold. Well at least I try to be in the background but that doesn't always work.

It was kind of cold on Sunday. Guess who I shared a blanket with? Laurie's Robert, I must admit I didn't think that would ever happen. Bob, Craig, Kevin and the usual suspect (me) stayed up late. After pleading with Bob to go to bed and succeeding, I had to convince Craig to go to bed: "craig" 'yes unce don?" "go to bed" "kevin is still talking" "kevin?" "would you shut up, Craig has to go to bed, I just got Bob to bed, I'm the great, grand poobah, you have to follow my orders"

And then there is the horseshoe thing. After playing against and losing to Robin, I was depressed for several moments. But after watching Anita and Julie demolish them, I resumed my former cheery self. I won't mention any statistics but on Monday, Julie and myself were undefeated and I closed with a ringer and later that day I won darts with a double two out. And tonight I won the game of trouble against Kevin and Anita. I'm clearly on a roll.

Presumably every person in the history of mankind will want to be my partner in the future. "don?" "yes Queen Elizabeth?" "will you be my partner in bridge?" "certainly, how do you play it?" "snooker?" "yay, is that played in an arena with racquets?" "croquet?" "of course, if I can bring my putter".

I have to win once in a while. The great grand poobah has an inferiority complex which needs assuaging by winning. And I note that not one of my family is willing to do a "one for the gipper". 99.999999999999% of families would be quite willing to let the great grand poobah win. Except mine. So every victory I get is well earned.

Not that I'm complaining. I suppose. Well yes I am, you all could be a little more thoughtful of my feelings. Let me win, remember I won't be around a long time so build up my feelings of superiority towards everyone and it will a perfect match. I win, you lose. A win-win situation. And if I do happen to outlive you all, I'll make a memorial. And I'll play Taps in memorium to you all, the losers. Yay hah.

Take care you all. I love you.

I do believe that is Colin and Kevin and Tyler. It was for a dart club outing last year. I'd hate to see what they would do for a Halloween party.
So my question is, we are related to them. Can they be excommunicated from the family? Please.
So the weather looks good for the August long weekend. Tomorrow night we are putting up the tarp and tomorrow aft. I'm going to bike through Wyndel and then to Creston via the Lower Wyndel Road. Biking here is so much different than biking in Toronto. It's good but different. I'm a little out of shape at the moment but amazingly I haven't gained any weight. Today I biked up the Junction Machinery Road, I almost died...it was hot here today.
Take care everyone, and I hope I see many of you this weekend.
I don't know but this could be a good one. I don't know. Being the Great, Grand Poobah, I might use my powers to annoy and/or kill people. I'll decide at the time. If Ger keeps quiet, if Kevin doesn't chew his fingernails, if Jim doesn't exaggerate, and if Julie doesn't buzz-cut me, I should be okay.

So it was nice. I think Justin is cute. Fairly,. quite. I was analyzing, He is a storm. This is Kevin and Anita.

He's good prson,. I think he should be shot, killed and used as sometthing. He is person.

This is a pic after we'd strewn Roy's ashes into the Moyie River during the canoe trip. Just after this we hit a logjam. Which me and Kevin got through and then watched Jim and Brenda's canoe belongings float down the river. We jiggered about on the river and saved most of them but our hearts were heavy when we had to paddle up the river in order to reach the rest of the 2007 crew.

Kevin said it's only going up to 16 above on Sunday. Which means we could have one hell of a big thunderstorm on Saturday. I think God (or Roy, or Anna, or John Miller, or Marlene) are having a great time and they just want to remind us that they were pretty good too. And Bob is going to be here. And Jim and Ger and Kev and Julie. Not me. I'm packing my bags. Tuktoyuktuck is good at this time of the year. Death Valley is looking good. The Sahara Desert will be an oasis. Iceland will be my summer home.

And since I'll be the eldest Storm, I charge $5.00 for insights, $6.00 for bright ideas and $999.00 to pick my brain, hopefully with a laser and not a sledgehammer. I also get to pick the games. Four persons in a sack while I pour acid on them while beating them with a crowbar; betting on how long it will take Jim to die while swinging from a noose; having Ger's thyroid gland removed in order to use him as the 'silent talker'; having Kevin appear in proverty-stricking Ethiopia just to show them that we have skeletal persons too; and having Julie just smile. Which means we should head for the hills, mountains, whatever. High altitudes is good. Anywhere to jump from. Preferrably with a good footing. When I jump I do like to have good footing.

With some trepidation I look forward to this coming weekend. My bod is already starting to get into the cacoon stage. I'll have to look after you people. You won't let me, which I resent. If an emergency arises I'll be there: "Uncle Don, you have your head in the sand" "Who got hurt?" "you don't know the child" "is it related to me?" "No, close but not related" "is there blood?" "a little but we cleaned it up". "where am I?" "in relation to what?" "my bed" "that depends" "on what?" "how close you want your bed to be, we are in a forest and I hear coyotes" "who am I talking to?" "Roy and Anna" "oh gawd what did I do now" "we have a bone to pick" "still?" "yes, you had unfinished business when you left for all those years but now we need you to keep the family together" "I don't have the capabilities nor the resources" "you'll find a way" "no I won't" "I've just noticed lately that Kevin is annoying" "you have to get over that" "everytime Jim, Ger, Julie and Kevin can spray me with some toxic waste or even water they do, it get's annoying, although Julie doesn't do it that much, and Justin does it, Col does it, Tyler does it, Jen does it" "you'll get over it" "Anita is annoying sometimes but great"

"you will survive, Don" How?" "be yourself and let things happen, for you it usually does" "this time I will be surprised" "We'll see but thank you for loving our family as much as you do".

Tyler does this and it is very good. But the next few weeks should be good. Except for me. Have chloroform ready. All I can do is be nice. That is what I do.

Ger seems to be ignoring me. And others. But I'm here for a little while. Not much longer so don't annoy me. I'm a true representative of the Storms. Well, the oldest. I'm not that good. I'm ready to kill actually. I'd like to use most of my kin as kindling. Which would work out well. I don't do the burning at the stake (unless it's necessary and needed to be used as a deterent to normality).

Take care you all. I haven't seen Justin, Hello. Ger is gone. Jim is a distant memory. Col hates me. Tyler is insane. Julie is far away, and Kevin is on patrol on the waterline" Well, I'm getting a complex. "uncle don?" "what?" "does anyone love you?" "nope" "someone does" "none of my family apparentely" "Cody does" "that's a cat, by the way the strangest cat I've ever seen, I may kill him" "he's your only friend, you can't kill Cody"

Perhaps I can. But probably not.

That is Tyler and Tiana. They are good persons. In a strange kind of way.But that is a Storm. That is good.

This is the Storm blog. Well hello, We are perfect and I presume I'm great. So I don't think I"m that grreat.

I'll pretend I'm great. Will that work?

Nighty night.

This is a good fire.

And that Shuan, he enjoyed it. That is me in the background wondering if im going to be left.

When one goes on a canoe trip, one loses ones' comb. A fork only comes in handy when one loses ones comb which is annoying. If I didn't know that was me, I'd think this pic of me is an alien of an unknown universe whom has a Bud and has a stash of mustard next to him.

I think Julie had a good time on the canoe trip. And isn't that what it is all about? The Storms do attract something don't they. Natural disasters and bees. If I see one more bee that isn't beneficial to life I'm going to kill it.

By the way I have more misquitto bites per square inch of skin than any one else.

I don't know who that is on the right, but there is Tyler and Col.

Agh.

Egad

I have no idea whom these persons are. I think that is Col and Tyler in the background. The foreground could be anyone. I know I'm not involved in this picture. I might have been totally amazed that Tyler is alive or that I am. No, this is a few years ago. I look like a Bohemian Rhapsody wapped into a sixty year old bod. Or not.

Good stuff

Well I survived the storm of the century. I didn't think I'd ever see trees flattened like matchsticks. Thank gawd Jim had a chain saw. The blue tarp was ripped off like a rip saw and we stood agape as the forest collapsed around us. Some ran for cover in the open field but a lot of us just stood there and watched tree after tree fall.

I've been through a scary thing or two. So we set off canoeing after that and it was pouring rain Saturday morn. But we did it. Saturday was good, more or less. Ger spilled. If I have to be a baby-sitter it wouldn't be good. Jim spilled. I have to look after him to?

An update on my relationship with Kev and Anita. I'm more or less taking over. Kevin is not capable of functioning as a human being, much less as a father and husband. I've been here two weeks and and I could write a book.

I'm gaining weight. I didn't want to gain weight. I think Bob and Lorraine and Stacy and Dawn are coming down, and children. I hear there might be a family reunion after the long weekend in August but I don't know. Might I note my headache? My headache is worse than most. It pounds.

But I love you all but some I might want to kill some. Those that annoy me are gone immediatlely. I'l use those bods as sources of agony. those that are within throwing distance of being normal but yet slightly abnormal. I'll preserve: uncle don? what? You can't pickle Robin. If he annoys me, I promise I can.

I honest to gowd don't think I will survive. You guys are all so good to me and I don't think I deserve it. Can't wail to see you.

uncle

Weather

Well, I will notice quite a difference in weather when I arrive out west I see. From the low 30's in TO to the low 20's in B.C. My last day at Market Probe today is going to be tough. I hate saying goodbye, hate it, hate it, hate it. My last bike ride to work (I'm selling my bike to a girl at work today). With my luck I'll get run over.

See ya.

Uncle Don? "are you going to survive the next two to three days?" "no" "howso?" "look at this apartment and take a guess" "take lots of ibuprofen, by the way where did you get all this garbage?" "it's not garbage to me" "by the way, how are you feeling?" "don't ask, I've a headache and I think my right arm is paralyzed" "and mentally?" "my brain feels like a watermellon that has been dropped from the CN tower"