All right I admit it. I enjoy being around Jim, Ger and Kev. Kill me if you will God. Always have and always will. How many uncles are as lucky as me: none. Me sitting in the back and observing Ger and Kev in the front seat while going to Cranbrook was enjoyable. Brothers? Oh yeah. Storms? Oh yeah. I didn't know how I was going to survive coming back to Toronto, I really didn't. With Ger and Kev and Jim with me on Saturday night, and Kev taking me to the airport it worked out well. Perfect actually.
I'm sure Jim, Ger and Kev have imperfections. Millions of them probably (a conservative estimate). But not to me. If nothing else, I am a good judge of people. Guess what? They are the best. Except I have a theory: "ger?" "yes kev" "if we both go up to Cranbrook, between the three of us, we should be able make sure Uncle Don get's on the plane" "true Kev, he won't be able to double back and be in Creston when we arrive back tomorrow" "exactly, you sleep on the couch and pretend you are sleeping in the morning, Jim will be on the look-out on the deck and I will see him off to the airport". "good plan"
"kev?" "yes uncle don" "I can take it from here, you don't have to carry my bags and why did you give the pilot a tip, and I can do up my own seatbelt" "I just want to make sure are safe, you know these short jaunts to Calgary can be harrowing" "I didn't know you cared"
I hope they read the above and realize that the blogs to follow are not meant in a defamatory way. Hello.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Yay hah
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I think this is a great picture (ignoring moi). Finally I have Anita on The Storm Blog. That took a while, thank you Ger. Because of the peculiarties of certain members of the Storm Clan, Anita can wonder off to bed and a certain other member of the Storm Clan will wonder away (although within hearing distance) and/or hide under Justin's truck while blubbering about: "I miss you dear, please come back, I didn't mean it" An annual thing. At least.
A classic
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First of all, this picture cannot be used for blackmail purposes. Some members of the esteemed Storm Clan might want to canoe because it quiets the beating heart, soothes the soul and helps them to commune with the flora and fauna.
But not this person. Hello. Not a bad thing really. Karri communed with the river which is good. And I'm sure her heart stopped beating for a moment or two. As far as her soul? Forget it.
This is what life is all about.
Jen and I
This was a deep conversation. I had asked Jen why she was holding a beer bottle cooler holder and a plastic fan. 
As you can see she was aghast I would ask. "Uncle Don, they both represent cool" "ah, of course, you know Jen, I didn't even know baby duck was made any more, I used to drink it when I was cool a thousand years ago although after one bottle I was usually ready to puke my guts out" "yeh, it's good isn't it, especially if it's cold" "Jen?" "yes Uncle Don" "I hope you don't now or ever will like shooters" "why would you say that?" "well, I've seen you down six or seven bottles of baby duck, how many shooters could you handle?" "fifteen" "fifteen?" "on a bad day".
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As you can see she was aghast I would ask. "Uncle Don, they both represent cool" "ah, of course, you know Jen, I didn't even know baby duck was made any more, I used to drink it when I was cool a thousand years ago although after one bottle I was usually ready to puke my guts out" "yeh, it's good isn't it, especially if it's cold" "Jen?" "yes Uncle Don" "I hope you don't now or ever will like shooters" "why would you say that?" "well, I've seen you down six or seven bottles of baby duck, how many shooters could you handle?" "fifteen" "fifteen?" "on a bad day".
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Yay
"ger?" "yes" "I like this pic you sent me, I don't remember it being taken" "why am I not surprised about that"
A New Blog
If anyone wants to be bored to tears, I have started a new blog. It's on science fiction writing so don't expect funny. Don't expect science either, I failed science in high school. I resent that by the way. If I would have had a decent teacher I would have been okay. I had a teacher called Mr. Gautier. He was eventually fired and run out of town but, unfortunately, not before he turned me off of science.
Actually thinking about it now, some of the teachers I had at PCSS were not good. I had one great one. A Mr. Robinson (not Adam Robertson). I had him for geography. I was in the front desk and I sat rapt listening to him. Unfortunately he died one summer and I missed him a lot. The only blot on that class was when we were required to make a facsimile of a raft that Thor Hyerdahl sailed on: The Kon Tiki. Mine fell apart before I got it to school. I was in tears but Mr. Robinson was kind enough not to put it out for display.
May I continue a wee bit here? It's funny what people remember. The Vancouver Philharmonic Orchestra came to Creston once and so even the kids from the elementary school got to attend. I was sitting up in the bleachers with friends and I wondered if I would see Bobby walking in. Actually it may have been Jim and Ger. It's a long time ago. When I started at school I always got asked by the teachers: 'are you related to Roy and Marlene?' 'yes' "hmmm'
Continuing on, so I was a clutz in physical education. Why do they call it education? Hello. For a young, fairly nerdy person like me it was hell. Tumbling was really hell. Run up to a springboard and do what over that thing? A sumersault? Hello. Of course I could swim almost before I could walk. And so the very odd time we were able to swim during phys ed, I wowed them.
And I played the trumpet in the high school band. Hello. I was no good. Why I chose the trumpet I'll never know. I should have chose the tambourines. But I got to travel to Trail (where we won the music festival competition, we were on that weekend) and of course I marched in the Kimberley and Creston parades a few times. Thinking back on it, I may have been the first nerd in the history of mankind. And I may have almost been the first 'hippy'. When one is born in 1945, one is going to go through several stages.
By the way, I'm replacing Ger as one my fave people in lieu of Justin. And definitely replacing Kev in lieu of Colin. Jim I can't replace although I'd like to. Kevin took me to the airport and saw me off? Hello. And Ger was sleeping on Jim's couch when I got up Sunday morn? Hello. I sure appreciated that.
By the way, as well as new items being added, existing items will change or be deleted on this blog from week to week. If you miss it, you miss it.
Actually thinking about it now, some of the teachers I had at PCSS were not good. I had one great one. A Mr. Robinson (not Adam Robertson). I had him for geography. I was in the front desk and I sat rapt listening to him. Unfortunately he died one summer and I missed him a lot. The only blot on that class was when we were required to make a facsimile of a raft that Thor Hyerdahl sailed on: The Kon Tiki. Mine fell apart before I got it to school. I was in tears but Mr. Robinson was kind enough not to put it out for display.
May I continue a wee bit here? It's funny what people remember. The Vancouver Philharmonic Orchestra came to Creston once and so even the kids from the elementary school got to attend. I was sitting up in the bleachers with friends and I wondered if I would see Bobby walking in. Actually it may have been Jim and Ger. It's a long time ago. When I started at school I always got asked by the teachers: 'are you related to Roy and Marlene?' 'yes' "hmmm'
Continuing on, so I was a clutz in physical education. Why do they call it education? Hello. For a young, fairly nerdy person like me it was hell. Tumbling was really hell. Run up to a springboard and do what over that thing? A sumersault? Hello. Of course I could swim almost before I could walk. And so the very odd time we were able to swim during phys ed, I wowed them.
And I played the trumpet in the high school band. Hello. I was no good. Why I chose the trumpet I'll never know. I should have chose the tambourines. But I got to travel to Trail (where we won the music festival competition, we were on that weekend) and of course I marched in the Kimberley and Creston parades a few times. Thinking back on it, I may have been the first nerd in the history of mankind. And I may have almost been the first 'hippy'. When one is born in 1945, one is going to go through several stages.
By the way, I'm replacing Ger as one my fave people in lieu of Justin. And definitely replacing Kev in lieu of Colin. Jim I can't replace although I'd like to. Kevin took me to the airport and saw me off? Hello. And Ger was sleeping on Jim's couch when I got up Sunday morn? Hello. I sure appreciated that.
By the way, as well as new items being added, existing items will change or be deleted on this blog from week to week. If you miss it, you miss it.
Hot or what
I've never seen a hot spell like this before. Ever. It's only 30 above (49 counting humidity probably). As I always do on Sunday morning, I went out biking. That lasted about six minutes. Even I can't bike in that.
I'm imagining a conversation with Jim if he lived in Toronto: "Uncle Don?" "yes Jim" "I'm moving, bye"
I'm imagining a conversation with Jim if he lived in Toronto: "Uncle Don?" "yes Jim" "I'm moving, bye"
David Letterman's Top Ten
Top ten reasons why Uncle Don shouldn't be allowed to live in Creston:
10. He will get lost and a major search party, costing millions of dolars, will have to be arranged.
9. Six minutes after moving to Creston he will be bored.
8. I'm there for a week and I leave Kev notes on his seat to cheer him up in the morning. If I lived there for a while, I would leave a bomb and so he wouldn't last long.
7. I'd drop in at Creston Optometric Eye Centre every day and annoy Karri.
6. I'd hitchhike to Jim's and be so unshaven, unbathed and rude.
5. When and if I was invited, I'd critizice Anita's food. That would be after I ate her delicious cabbage rolls.
4. I'd embarrass everyone by being normal.
3. I'd impress Jim with my cooking.
2. Wherever she is working, I will meet Jen for a ciggy.
1. I'll die the second day I get there because I will be too happy.
10. He will get lost and a major search party, costing millions of dolars, will have to be arranged.
9. Six minutes after moving to Creston he will be bored.
8. I'm there for a week and I leave Kev notes on his seat to cheer him up in the morning. If I lived there for a while, I would leave a bomb and so he wouldn't last long.
7. I'd drop in at Creston Optometric Eye Centre every day and annoy Karri.
6. I'd hitchhike to Jim's and be so unshaven, unbathed and rude.
5. When and if I was invited, I'd critizice Anita's food. That would be after I ate her delicious cabbage rolls.
4. I'd embarrass everyone by being normal.
3. I'd impress Jim with my cooking.
2. Wherever she is working, I will meet Jen for a ciggy.
1. I'll die the second day I get there because I will be too happy.
Sunday Morning Musings
Yesterday I paid $150 for a headset so I can listen to my music with clarity. I can no more afford that than fly from here to Toledo. Music is the most important part of my life so I'm not all down on myself for doing that.
This week has been a killer as far weather is concerned here in Toronto. Counting humidity over 40 every day. You think it is bad in Cranbrook Jim. Not even remotely close. I actually biked to work one day last week. I didn't collapse so I can't be in that bad shape.
Julie sent me pics. Great pictures actually. Julie seems to be the only one in the family whom realizes that I love receiving pictures. I can here it now, in unison: "we are too busy, we don't have time" I thought that excuse went out with the Edsel but I guess not. And of course the reason I like to get pics is so I can post them on the blog. I don't think though that anyone can send better pics than what Julie sent me.
I don't know if anyone noticed but I'm not really normal. I sent Bob a short e-mail telling him I was mad at him. So he sends me back an e-mail: "what did I do now?" Someone should take me behind a barn and shoot me. And I phone Kev's place just to check up on him. Not to talk, just to make sure he is okay. I assume by now you all know my quirks and if you don't you are stupid.
I must admit, even I was somewhat taken aback with the great reception I received. Certainly not when I arrived but family seemed to warm to me. Although that may not be true either. Do we really need the hiding under a tire, zooming up a side of a mountain, bickering back and forth between family members? Oh yeah, I forgot it is the Storm Clan. If possible try to be a little more creative next year. I mean really, if I've seen Col zip up a hil trying to fix his bumper once I've seen it a thousand times. And Karri falling into the river was rather passe. And Kev looking at me in the canoe all alone. For gawds sakes I said I need to take a pee as a joke because the rock wall was sheer and I assumed Kev took it as a joke. Hello. But it was boring really. And then Justin jumping off of it. I didn't even know he was up on the sheer wall. And Col doing the rope thing. If any of that was done to impress me, it did. But the problem being is that next year Justin and Col will pretty well have to drown to impress me.
Thousands of time in the past, I have pretended to be shocked by the antics of The Storm Clan, especially Kev. I'm not doing that anymore. Actually Colin did impress me. He did something (although silly and uncalled for). He forgot to let go of the rope. I would have done that
too, but unforunately The Storm Clan is getting rather conservative and so I didn't.
In some ways I want to live at Kev's but I don't want to be bored. So difficult even thinking about it. One thing that has always beem a factor in my life is that it happens. If it happens, it happens. Egad, don't underestimate me out there. Just don't do that. I underestimate me so I don't need others doing it.
This week has been a killer as far weather is concerned here in Toronto. Counting humidity over 40 every day. You think it is bad in Cranbrook Jim. Not even remotely close. I actually biked to work one day last week. I didn't collapse so I can't be in that bad shape.
Julie sent me pics. Great pictures actually. Julie seems to be the only one in the family whom realizes that I love receiving pictures. I can here it now, in unison: "we are too busy, we don't have time" I thought that excuse went out with the Edsel but I guess not. And of course the reason I like to get pics is so I can post them on the blog. I don't think though that anyone can send better pics than what Julie sent me.
I don't know if anyone noticed but I'm not really normal. I sent Bob a short e-mail telling him I was mad at him. So he sends me back an e-mail: "what did I do now?" Someone should take me behind a barn and shoot me. And I phone Kev's place just to check up on him. Not to talk, just to make sure he is okay. I assume by now you all know my quirks and if you don't you are stupid.
I must admit, even I was somewhat taken aback with the great reception I received. Certainly not when I arrived but family seemed to warm to me. Although that may not be true either. Do we really need the hiding under a tire, zooming up a side of a mountain, bickering back and forth between family members? Oh yeah, I forgot it is the Storm Clan. If possible try to be a little more creative next year. I mean really, if I've seen Col zip up a hil trying to fix his bumper once I've seen it a thousand times. And Karri falling into the river was rather passe. And Kev looking at me in the canoe all alone. For gawds sakes I said I need to take a pee as a joke because the rock wall was sheer and I assumed Kev took it as a joke. Hello. But it was boring really. And then Justin jumping off of it. I didn't even know he was up on the sheer wall. And Col doing the rope thing. If any of that was done to impress me, it did. But the problem being is that next year Justin and Col will pretty well have to drown to impress me.
Thousands of time in the past, I have pretended to be shocked by the antics of The Storm Clan, especially Kev. I'm not doing that anymore. Actually Colin did impress me. He did something (although silly and uncalled for). He forgot to let go of the rope. I would have done that
too, but unforunately The Storm Clan is getting rather conservative and so I didn't.
In some ways I want to live at Kev's but I don't want to be bored. So difficult even thinking about it. One thing that has always beem a factor in my life is that it happens. If it happens, it happens. Egad, don't underestimate me out there. Just don't do that. I underestimate me so I don't need others doing it.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Hi
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I can't get pics from Jim, Ger and Kev. Julie sent me these. Thank so much Julie. I have Max forever. That is more appreciated than you will ever imagine.
The Grand Poobah
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Uncle Poobah loves this pic. This is why Uncle Poobah writes The Storm Blog and why he loves Jim, Ger, Kev and Julie so much.
sheesh
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Note that umbrella. Pretend I'm not here but guess who got it? tick, tick, tick, tick, ah an umbrella. tick, tick, oh i'm tired. tick, tick tick back to the deck. Hello, I'm exhausted. Look at these people. I did all the work and they have no idea. I had to dig for it and look around and wave to Terry. It was a big deal. And look at this idyllic scene. They have no idea what I went through.
agh
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This is the conversation between father and son: "dad?" "what" "you've gotta get over it" "what?" "staring at that ant that does the triple axel and why are you protecting your crotch?" "because""Dad?" "what?" "if i could explain this to you, people don't comb their hair that way anymore, they used to". "what way?" "dad how old are you?" "why?" "because you are cool, really cool".
The Gathering
Uncle Poobah won't be there next weekend. But I will expect every Storm Clan member to be there. Life is all about fun. Anyone complains about fun then they aren't a Storm. I'd give my right arm to be there so I don't want to hear any complaints. I'm sure the Storm Clan will act accordingly (subtly giving out the aura of being a little better than everyone else but pretending to be comfortable amongst the riff-faff). I've made a top ten list of do's and don't's for that weekend as a Storm Clan guideline.
ten: If possible, don't throw up in front of anyone.
Nine: When walking, try to go from point A to point B in a straight line.
Eight: This refers mainly to Kev. Don't sing around the campfire.
Seven: If in doubt, nod and say things like: absolutely, I agree, amazing, is that right?, I've noticed that.
Six: Eat a lot.
Five: Mainly referring to Ger: don't talk.
Four: Mainly referring to Jim: if you must talk about the navy, keep it under six thousand words.
Three: Mainly referring to Justin, Col, Ty and Jen and Shayna: don't attend, I mean really whom would want to (I'm kidding of course). But when you do, stick together.
Two: Mainly referring To Roy: commit suicide if possible, or have twelve thousand naps.
One: Have fun and enjoy, I know I would.
ten: If possible, don't throw up in front of anyone.
Nine: When walking, try to go from point A to point B in a straight line.
Eight: This refers mainly to Kev. Don't sing around the campfire.
Seven: If in doubt, nod and say things like: absolutely, I agree, amazing, is that right?, I've noticed that.
Six: Eat a lot.
Five: Mainly referring to Ger: don't talk.
Four: Mainly referring to Jim: if you must talk about the navy, keep it under six thousand words.
Three: Mainly referring to Justin, Col, Ty and Jen and Shayna: don't attend, I mean really whom would want to (I'm kidding of course). But when you do, stick together.
Two: Mainly referring To Roy: commit suicide if possible, or have twelve thousand naps.
One: Have fun and enjoy, I know I would.
The Power of Women
I'm not sure if words can stop a war. Words can certainly start one. Words can be used to make someone happy. And they can cause someone to be so sad. And words don't have to be spoken to have an impact. And sometimes words can make someone happy, while making someone else sad. Or words can be ignored.
Case in point: "Shut the fuck up, I came 5000 kilos to hear a loon or a spotted owl or a moose. Can I have ten seconds of silence to hear silence? I don't need to hear anything, I just don't want to hear anything" Tick tock. "Uncle Don?" "yes Jen" "was that enough?" "that was one second, I hardly think so" "we'll start over" tick "uncle don?" "yes jen" not enough?" "Jen, if you would shut up then it might work". Uncle?" "yes Jen?" "you see whom I'm surrounded with?" "Storms?" "want some baby duck?"
Case in point: I look over yonder and see Jim and Brenda. Idyllic. What harm can come to me? Not possible. Hello. Who knew? Brenda, the one whom I thought would not want to harm a flea. Hello. It took a long a long time before we knew whom caused every mishap. "Kev?" "yes uncle don" "we aren't moving and neither are others but look at Brenda and Jim just powering down that river, I may have to reassess my once positive thoughts of Brenda" "you had positive thoughts about Brenda?" "Briefly"
Case in point: I'm going to go back a bit. First time I met Karri: "Uncle Don, where did you come from and why do you hate us and really, how the hell can you come back and I want to hear every moment of your life since Grade six" I was warned about Karri but I was taken aback. "uncle don?" "yes ger" "when karri gets home you are going to the Creston Optometric Eye Centre" "in my life" "you are" Of course Ger was correct in his assumption. Everything about Karri that week was fun and she took time out to make my life better. And I love her.
Case in point: Anita. Thank good gawd Neet didn't have to work that week. Anita seems to be able read my mind. When I look at Anita I'm just comfortable. The more I come down to Creston, the more I notice that Anita is happy and she has life together. Kev is a lucky man and he realizes it completely.
The Storm Clan is powered by great women. Every great clan is.
Case in point: "Shut the fuck up, I came 5000 kilos to hear a loon or a spotted owl or a moose. Can I have ten seconds of silence to hear silence? I don't need to hear anything, I just don't want to hear anything" Tick tock. "Uncle Don?" "yes Jen" "was that enough?" "that was one second, I hardly think so" "we'll start over" tick "uncle don?" "yes jen" not enough?" "Jen, if you would shut up then it might work". Uncle?" "yes Jen?" "you see whom I'm surrounded with?" "Storms?" "want some baby duck?"
Case in point: I look over yonder and see Jim and Brenda. Idyllic. What harm can come to me? Not possible. Hello. Who knew? Brenda, the one whom I thought would not want to harm a flea. Hello. It took a long a long time before we knew whom caused every mishap. "Kev?" "yes uncle don" "we aren't moving and neither are others but look at Brenda and Jim just powering down that river, I may have to reassess my once positive thoughts of Brenda" "you had positive thoughts about Brenda?" "Briefly"
Case in point: I'm going to go back a bit. First time I met Karri: "Uncle Don, where did you come from and why do you hate us and really, how the hell can you come back and I want to hear every moment of your life since Grade six" I was warned about Karri but I was taken aback. "uncle don?" "yes ger" "when karri gets home you are going to the Creston Optometric Eye Centre" "in my life" "you are" Of course Ger was correct in his assumption. Everything about Karri that week was fun and she took time out to make my life better. And I love her.
Case in point: Anita. Thank good gawd Neet didn't have to work that week. Anita seems to be able read my mind. When I look at Anita I'm just comfortable. The more I come down to Creston, the more I notice that Anita is happy and she has life together. Kev is a lucky man and he realizes it completely.
The Storm Clan is powered by great women. Every great clan is.
Throw No Rocks at Others
"Ger?" "yes my esteemed uncle" "I just came back from the beer store" So?" "I note the makeup of the lineup for alcohol in downtown Toronto is somewhat different than Creston" "how so?" "well, when I was in Creston I didn't notice a bag lady twitching on the floor beside me while I was waiting in line" "true, I haven't noticed that in Creston" "or the person in front of me trying to pay for his beer with a blatantly counterfeit twenty and not get arrested" "well, actually Kev tried it once years ago" "really?" "we have bag ladies too uncle don" "what!?" "but they don't twitch, ours are more sophisticated"
"Ger?" "yes?" "some of the persons in line today looked pretty wretched" "have you looked in a mirror lately?" "but really Ger it was kind of depressing to see these persons in the throes of wretchedness" "did they look happy?" "yes" "your point being?" "pretend I'm not here" "but I get your meaning uncle don, but it is not up to us to judge whether others are happy or not, for example I often look at Kev and see him in the front doing nothing but doing a good job of looking like he is doing something, and he doesn't look really happy" "he might be the heart of the front just like you are the heart of the back, Ger?" "yes?" "if Comfort left you and Kev could run that place like a fined-tuned guitar, you are both brilliant in your own way, although both of you are extraordinarily odd" "what do you mean odd uncle, we are normal"
"well yes I suppose if one thinks that someone who complains about a bad back and carries five thousand one and two ton rocks from the summit and makes a beautiful walkway is normal" "and Kev, whom Robert Louis Stevenson based his book Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde on but who got it wrong because Kev is Dr Jekyll during the day and Mr Hyde at night, is normal"
"uncle don?" "yes my esteemed nephew?" "I'm never talking to you again" "I don't blame you"
"Ger?" "yes?" "some of the persons in line today looked pretty wretched" "have you looked in a mirror lately?" "but really Ger it was kind of depressing to see these persons in the throes of wretchedness" "did they look happy?" "yes" "your point being?" "pretend I'm not here" "but I get your meaning uncle don, but it is not up to us to judge whether others are happy or not, for example I often look at Kev and see him in the front doing nothing but doing a good job of looking like he is doing something, and he doesn't look really happy" "he might be the heart of the front just like you are the heart of the back, Ger?" "yes?" "if Comfort left you and Kev could run that place like a fined-tuned guitar, you are both brilliant in your own way, although both of you are extraordinarily odd" "what do you mean odd uncle, we are normal"
"well yes I suppose if one thinks that someone who complains about a bad back and carries five thousand one and two ton rocks from the summit and makes a beautiful walkway is normal" "and Kev, whom Robert Louis Stevenson based his book Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde on but who got it wrong because Kev is Dr Jekyll during the day and Mr Hyde at night, is normal"
"uncle don?" "yes my esteemed nephew?" "I'm never talking to you again" "I don't blame you"
To the Doctor I go.
I actually have a Doctors appointment next Thursday. I have a number of issues with her. She hasn't seen me for a year. I've lost weight (a plus). Due to worrying (a minus). She is cute (a plus), but unfortunatley she has no idea (a minus).
"Donald" "yes" "you are still alive?" "yes, I've managed to hang on" "statistically you should be six feet under" "I resent that, can you cure me?" "of what" "my neurotisism" "your whom?" "some people think that I think the world revolves me, whereas I think I'm just clutzy"
"where does your clutziness hurt?" "everywhere" "give me a few specific examples" "yesterday I went to work without my glasses" "I meant on your body, where does it hurt?". "in my heart"
"I note that it is beating fairly regularly" "why wouldn't it, I'm a clutz, maybe I need a brain scan" "we don't do that here" "can you refer me to a Doctor?" "I am a Doctor" "A brain Doctor" "I could, but you don't qualify" "why" "because you aren't crazy" "I'm naked, I'm balancing a life of working and writing and I'm delusional and this parrot on my shoulder talks to me, and I'm not crazy?" "not in downtown Toronto or Scarborough, if you move to Mississauga they would think you are crazy"
"Donald" "yes" "you are still alive?" "yes, I've managed to hang on" "statistically you should be six feet under" "I resent that, can you cure me?" "of what" "my neurotisism" "your whom?" "some people think that I think the world revolves me, whereas I think I'm just clutzy"
"where does your clutziness hurt?" "everywhere" "give me a few specific examples" "yesterday I went to work without my glasses" "I meant on your body, where does it hurt?". "in my heart"
"I note that it is beating fairly regularly" "why wouldn't it, I'm a clutz, maybe I need a brain scan" "we don't do that here" "can you refer me to a Doctor?" "I am a Doctor" "A brain Doctor" "I could, but you don't qualify" "why" "because you aren't crazy" "I'm naked, I'm balancing a life of working and writing and I'm delusional and this parrot on my shoulder talks to me, and I'm not crazy?" "not in downtown Toronto or Scarborough, if you move to Mississauga they would think you are crazy"
Friday, July 28, 2006
Hello
I rather doubt that anyone want's to hear about my life but funny things happen. I happened to swerve a bit last night on my bike on the way home from having sixteen beers at a friends in Etobicoke. This car with rap music blaring from it pulls up along beside me: "Mista you fine, you cool, you drive?" "yes, I'm actually almost home, I should be walking but I'm in a hurry". "Yeh, we gots ya, we know, but you lose some skin and the mutha might worry, ya know, how miles ya got to go?". "Parliament and Wellesley Street". "We going that way, jump in, the bike there, you are and old man, what you doin' out here?" "I would have made it easily all the way the home, how are you are you guys doing, you got it cool, thanks for the lift, but I would have made it"
Thursday, July 27, 2006
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