Kara is in Thailand

Hey Don Q. Storm,

Thought you might like this. Kara and two friends are in Thailand right now. She left on Friday, May 4th and returns to Calgary on June 4th.

This is the latest email from her.

Neil


Subject: Thailand!!!

Hey Everyone, I think this is the last time I can email for a while. Im leaving for Chiang Mai tonight by night Train, which should be pretty exciting. Last night we met the other tour people and there are really nice, most of them are older, but very experienced so thats a good thing to have. This morning we saw a temple here in Bangkok. Beautiful and massive, there was this HUGE statue of a leaning, golden budha. And everything was colourful and bright and the architecture is pretty interesting. Haha now I sound like a man! Anyways then we went on a river boat canal tour around, quite neat to see, a little upsetting to view their standard of living, but they all seem to be quite pleased with it. Very cheery, smiley people! Anyways I need to go, talk to ya guys. .definitely in a week or so, but im not sure if it will be sooner than that! Miss everyone! See you soon!

KARA

Friday ramblings

I wonder if any other family has an uncle whom gets up at 4am and makes coffee, has a shower, reads the news/sports on the Internet, writes about how the medieval torture instruments would be suited to his nephews, has a breakfast of ham, scrambled eggs, toast with peanut butter and marmelade and bikes a fair distance to work and arrives at least on hour early so he can work on a crossword puzzle......and then have Joanne, his boss (and whom he's secretly in love with but whom has a husband called Ollie whom he presumes is six foot nine and an Adonis and whom could beat him to a pulp if necessary (not that it would be)) bet said uncle two pitchers of beer that said uncle wouldn't make it to work on Monday. Said uncle resents that, but said uncle will be at work on monday morning if it kills him. Said uncle will collect on this bet........I'm listening to a CD that I haven't listened to for so long, it's a Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young compilation that a friend put together for me a long time ago. Nice to hear it again, for me listening to some of their songs is like rewinding parts of my past life and playing it again, for example, Neil sings 'rock and roll is here to stay, it's better to burn out than be here to stay', in some way I think we would all agree that if Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Hank Williams, Buddy Holly would have lived a long life, they would have been shuffled off by now to just small footnote in the history of rock and rock.....Roy did comment once on this blog, when I was out there the time before last: "the last few posts on your blog haven't been that funny don" I was thrilled, to have someone who is the only one I know who has read more books than I have only mildly criticize me was nice, and for him to have read the blog was even more special.....I certainly don't mean to single out Ger because Roy and Anna needed a barge and a crane to take him to his crib and Marlene and Leo had to build a special crib just to accommodate Robin's rather large head. These things aren't well known in the family, you didn't know that?

Medieval torture

I have a problem. I have a sudden urge to inflict pain upon certain family members. Actually it's not sudden, the urge has been with me for quite some time. I don't know if anyone is into medieval torture. I am.

Thumbscrews come to mind: Justin? "yes uncle don?" "can I borrow your thumbs?"

Jim? "yes uncle don?" "would you step into the Iron Maiden, don't worry about the spikes that will penetrate your bod from head to toe when I close the door"

Robin? "yes uncle don?" "would you put your chin on the lower bar of the Head Crusher while I put the 'cap' on the top of your head and turn the screw, anyway your head needs to be smaller"

Neil? "yes uncle don?" "could you get on the Rack while I pull your bod in opposite directions, you always wanted to be six foot nine, so you're going to be six foot nine"

Colin? "yes uncle don?" "do you mind if I put you in this iron harnessy thingy called the Judas Cradle and lower you very, very slowly onto the pointy thingy, don't worry about screaming, the castle keep is soundproof"

Ger? "yes uncle don?" "I've always wanted to use the Heretic's Fork, I'm just going to thrust prongs into your chin and sternum, don't worry that you won't be able to move your head and/or talk, the world will be a better place"

Kev? "yes uncle don?" "would you get on the Wheel, don't worry that your bod will turn into a writhing, slimey, shapeless mass of flesh mixed in with splinters of smashed bones"

Tyler? "yes uncle don?" "I presume you won't mind when I impale you by lowering your bod on top of this Pointed Stake and impaling it through your abdomen and chest cavity, it will be uncomfortable for a while"

Uncle vlad, I mean don? "yes?" "I thought we were cute" "you are so I won't leave your bods to rot that long, only a couple of millenia"

Not a soul in Creston thought that the Canucks would win last night.

Amazingly, no one has complained to me about Alain Vigneault. I think he's brilliant but you see him more often than I do.

I got so annoyed that TSN and other 'experts' wrote off the Canucks after game one: "Anaheim will win in four" Mr. Vigneault is a good coach, I knew that he would never let that happen. I hope now that they think they can win. If they get that idea in their head they will be unstoppable.

The game is on.

Unlike Creston, in Toronto you don't see many conifer (pine, larch, cedar or spruce) trees so when the buds on the elm and oak trees in front of the house that I live in start to bud I get excited. In the last few days it's happened. In the winter I don't even note they exist but in the late spring, summer and fall they are fairly prominent. And in this neighbourhood, which is probably one of the oldest in Toronto, and I suppose Canada for that matter, they can be quite stately. But this tree across the street from me, which I think is a black oak, is different. The trunk at the bottom is huge and then about thirty feet up five large branches branch out and then in another twenty feet, more branches branch out, and so on. At the top there has to be five hundred branches, all reaching the same height, at about five or six stories high. In spring that tree goes from being the ugliest specimen of a deciduous tree to being awesome. I find it quite an amazing transformation. Mother Nature, aye.

I hit a wall at 3:45pm today. Not literally of course, but I ran out of energy. Completely. From 3:45 to 5:00 I was running on fumes. It was Friday, I'd kinda worked hard all week, and I was looking forward to my first cold beer. Normally I love to bike home on Fridays with the adrenelin flowing and my legs a'pumping but not today. It was still good but it was nice to get home and relax.

I haven't seen much playoff hockey. The only series I can watch is the NY Rangers and Buffalo. I refuse to watch the Senators play and I'm in bed before anyone out west starts to play so I'm limited in my choice. I'm secretly hoping the NY Rangers upset Buffalo but don't tell anyone. You know who will be in the Stanley Cup final? Anaheim and Ottawa. I'd watch cricket before I'd watch that match-up. In fact I'd watch the first round of the over 65 year old sumo wrestling championships (wouldn't that be an ugly sight?) first.

I used to be the worst person in the history of mankind as far losing. And I haven't changed much. My competitive spirit is still alive and well. I don't mind losing to family members actually. That is not a problem. But at work it's a problem. I gotta do better than anyone else. One would think it would wear off eventually. I presume family members would let me win in whatever game I was playing: "uncle don?" "yes?" "you are cheating" "I don't even know what game I'm playing" "it's called Crazy Eights Pass the Ace" "I should pass a two?" "Only if you have wild card" "which is?" "it depends" "on what?" "if you passed an eight previously and used it as trump, it could be a queen or king" "any beer left?" "no uncle don, it's very simple, think majoong with several tiny changes"

Whew

Well that was a close call. I was pleased to see Trevor Linden score the go-ahead goal, he's one of my favourite hockey players. And no rest for the wicked, they play tomorrow night, we can only hope Roberto Louongo is really hot for the series and some of the would-be scorers finally score some goals.

New pics from ger

Father and daughter.

Mother and son. Sheesh, Lane is cute. Actually soooooooo is Kristin.

Karri and Lane. Aaawwwww.

Shayna and Justin. Well, one of them is cute (not mentioning any names). I suppose Justin is too if one stretches one's imagination almost to the breaking point.

so uncle don, no one is going to want to bike with you when you move out there: "they don't want to have fun? they are afraid they will have the best time of their life" "sez who?" "sez me, 100% guaranteed". "Kev will never go for it" "I know, I just need to get him out once". "granny, I mean Jim will never go for it" "it'll be a challenge" "Robin might want to bike" "I'm not sure, but me and him are going to eventually take our guitars up to the lookout and sing John Denver's Rocky Mountain High while having a toke" "and Ger?" "do you know what I hate most about persons whom bike?" "what uncle don?' "bikers who yap" "we may have a problem" "we will not have a problem, I'll duct tape everything on his bod but his eyes"

uncle don don't forget about kev, he's beginning to itch and be bothered. "I knew I should have left him at home, at the next mountain pass just push him into the gorge" "Granny, I mean Jimmy is fretting also" "sheesh, well there is a crevice coming up which should be wide enough to throw his large bod into" "and Robin?" "hmm, he's cute, a chasm is coming up so perhaps we can use his huge head as a bridge" "and Ger?" "we'll need the duct tape and Robin's forehead to bike over to the next glacier so just hold your hand over Ger's mouth and then throw him him into the canyon after we've crossed the bottomless pit, but keep his teeth as a beacon". Neil is here uncle don. "to rescue moi no doubt, how is his mustache?" "cute" "good, I'll need it to brush off the wear and tear of the trip from my Gore bike wear"

uncle don? "what?" we are rebelling" "from whom?" "youm" "moim?" "you said this was going to be fun and we do all the work" "I presumed you guys were born to spoil me, am I wrong?" "don't have that hurt look on your face, uncle don" "I laughed at all your inane jokes from when you were tots and my bod still hurts from the torture you guys put me through, my remaining life is devoted to making your remaining lives as nightmarish as possible" "I thought we were cute uncle don" "that too, but I still have a throb in my left vortex caused by following one or two of you down a black run" "whom was it uncle don?" "I'm not mentioning any names, but one of them has a mustache and the other one looks like a small, white biafran and has an attitude"

Yay Calgary

It's all tied up! So Calgary, win a game on the road. And the Canucks lost in overtime. A gloom is hanging over Creston.

Toronto forecast: today a high of 18 with nary a cloud in the sky. And on the weekend, highs in the low twenties with not a single cloud appearing on the horizon. It's about time.

I finally went to the doctor this week. Nothing to report other than her sending me for tests. I have to decide what day I want to take off work and go in to the clinic at 9am (I guess it's an all day thing). The doctor is so young, she could be my grandchild. Although she grew up in Toronto, she's spent the last few years in Kelowna and she's been in Creston so we hit it off.

Calgary finally wins

Calgary won last night which is good. And the Canucks won without having to go in to overtime. And, of course, the inept Penguins lost. I watched the Rangers easily beat Atlanta last night, they look pretty good. Jagomar Jagr is playing good hockey. Of course I never watch any western teams play, way past my bedtime.

Toronto weather phenomena

We seem to have some rather odd weather phenomena in this part of the country:

Nor'easter: a macro-scale storm whose winds come from the northeast, especially in the coastal areas of the Northeastern United States and Atlantic Canada. More specifically, it describes a low pressure area whose center of rotation is just off the coast and whose leading winds in the left forward quadrant rotate onto land from the northeast. The precipitation pattern is similar to other extratropical storms. They also can cause coastal flooding, coastal erosion and gale force winds.

Holy moly, the "leading winds in the left forward quadrant" were definitely rotating in Toronto yesterday. I've seen windy but this was hurricane-force. I think I saw a cat fly by the office window yesterday.

Alberta Clipper: A clipper originates when warm, moist winds from the Pacific Ocean come into contact with the mountains in the provinces of British Columbia and then Alberta. The storms sweep in at high speed over whatever land they encounter, usually bringing with them sharp cold fronts and drastically lower temperatures. It is not uncommon for an Alberta clipper to cause temperatures to drop by 30°F (16°C) in as little as 10 to 12 hours. Often, the storms bring biting winds with them, only increasing the effect of the newly lower temperatures. Winds in advance and during an Alberta clipper are frequently as high as 35 to 45 mph (56 to 72 km/h).

This phenomenon isn't very pleasant either. We had several of these this past winter.

I guess what I'm trying to say (in a very roundabout way) is that we've not had any nice weather yet this year. We may never get nice weather.

Sidney came through. And he beat Ottawa. I knew he would (hah). Life is good.

yay

Calgary's road woes continue

The Flames are going to go up in flames pretty quickly this year if they can't figure out how to win on the road. What's with them? By the way, I'm hoping it's Vancouver and Buffalo in the Stanley Cup. And in the remote chance that happens I'll have a tough time choosing which one to cheer for.

And we have light snow (as in we are only going to get 35 centimeters of snow and not 97) in Toronto this morning. This weather could make the most cheerful person in the history of mankind grumpy.

Vancouver wins the first one

Is anyone still alive and kicking in Creston? Vancouver won in the fourth OT period last night against Dallas. That must have been quite a game to watch.

I see Ottawa beat Pittsburgh, agh.....where's Sidney?

Pics of Tony Orlando and Dawn.

"uncle don I resent that" "I'm sorry, Tony Orlando and Karri" "I'm not Tony Orlando" "well you should be, can you sing?" "yes" "there you go, what's the prob, I'm pleased I wasn't invited to the wedding, I couldn't have surived you singing 'tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree' one more time.

My e-mail isn't working this weekend so in lieu of that:

Dear niece/nephew/friend/alien:

I think you are a blankety-blank blank. Send money and a change of clothes.

Your dearest uncle/friend/earthling,

uncle don/donald/zeke

It's going to be 19 above in Creston today. And here it's minus 7. Ask me why I'm depressed: "uncle don why are you depressed?" "because when I finally arrive in Creston all the good weather will be used up". "and?" "and it's not fair to have Ger, Robin and Kev enjoying something they don't care one whit about, they don't bike, they wouldn't know a headwind if it hit them in the head" "and?" "and the three point nine million people whom live in Toronto would give their eye teeth for nineteen above but there is this wierd, and very small population in Creston who have no clue that they are lucky and all three point nine million of us hope the wierd and very small population of Creston is wiped out by flash floods, the plague and several nine point nine earthquakes" "and?" "if Vancouver and Calgary meet in the playoffs, which presumably they will, I'm cheering for Calgary" "Robin, Kev and Colin won't like you" "too bad, whippee-effing-do, at least they aren't freezing to death"

"It will be seventeen above in Cranbrook today uncle don" "oh gawd, Jimmy's going to pass out from heat prostration" "you like 39 above with lots of humidity don't you uncle don" "uh-huh, for some reason my bones don't ache and my nose doesn't run when I'm biking in extreme heat and humidity, I should have been born on the Yangtze River delta"

"uncle don?" "yes?" "why are there 3.9 million people living in Toronto and five thousand and seventy-two persons living in Creston?" "I don't know" "Creston is pretty" "yep" "not much traffic" "nope" "the people are nice" "yep" "no smog" "nope" "cherry blossoms in the spring" "yep" "no cyclists in velour" "nope" "a low crime rate excepting for an old guy getting dinged $189 for not doing anything from a two-bit mountie who probably goes home after work and beats his pet hamster" "yep" "uncle don you aren't bitter about that incident are you?" "oh yeah, oooooh yeah, yes, uh-huh, oui, for sure" "uncle don, you got your letter of protest published in the Advance" "that does not begin to cover my annoyance and I get an invoice from ICBC every two months to remind me how annoyed I am" "you can't fight Ottawa (RCMP) or Victoria (ICBC) uncle don" "I can but I wouldn't bother normally, but this invoice every two months is starting to make my blood boil"