Sunday, September 24, 2006

I worry


I'm not terribly impressed with Jim, Kevin and Colin going hunting for a week but I would assume there will be a few laughs had during that week. As long as there is no wildlife killed then how bad can it be? If there is don't tell me. In fact if Kev actually killed something I wouldn't talk to him for 25 years. Jim, well he still has that hunter instinct. The Neanderthals had it and it's tough to let it go I guess. And why Colin is going hunting I'm not sure. Colin is going to kill something? If he accidently did, I wouldn't talk to him for a hundred years (if he lives that long).

But I shouldn't worry. Hello. I should probably worry more about them accidently killing each other. I presume Kevin will be naked for the week and out hunting at 3am. I've never seen him carry a gun with clothes on in the daylight, I hope it isn't too nippy. I shouldn't worry too much though, Jim's e-mail to me:

"Actually it is kevin, colin and I hunting for a week, next week actually. Staying in a travel trailer, hot tub, granny made up cabbage rolls, beef stew, chicken pot pies, etc, should be good!"

Let's get together here: remember the days when Jim would go out alone and spend 12 days sitting in one spot while waiting for a deer to appear? And now he's got a hot tub, travel trailer and cabbage rolls? What happened to our fearless hunter? I'm an old fashioned person and a hunting trip should entail a little bit of deprivation. But not with Jim anymore apparently. If I ever cross the Gobi Desert I want Jim with me. I assume by the end of the week the deer will be in the hot tub and the three muskateers will be lost somewhere in the woods.

If I ever go on a hunting trip there are two persons whom I wouldn't want with me: Kevin and Colin. One can assume that the wildlife are dancing around and clapping their hooves with glee knowing those two persons are on the way to their forest.

The week from Colin's perspective:

Day one: "Gee Dad this is fun, when do we get to leave?" "Shaddup and keep loading the gear. How many rocket launchers have you uncrated?" "one" "throw it in the trunk" "then there will be no room for the Wiser's". "forget the rocket launcher, the grenade launcher will have to do, did you remember our swimming trunks for the hot tub, and don't forget the sour cream for the cabbage rolls, and above all don't forget the wine glasses, oh yeah and the camoflauge outerwear and your Bud" "I think I'm going to have fun roughing it Dad and to think we are going hunting with a famous hunter like Uncle Jim" "exactly, have we got room for an E-Z Boy?"

Day two: "Dad?" "yes" "I don't see Uncle Jim, it's 5am, can he be out hunting already?" "possibly, he does like to reconoiter" "Dad isn't that a nice deer over there, a six pointer I would say, why is he not afraid of us?" "he knows we aren't going to shoot him, but if that was a cat I could shoot it" "we are on a deer hunting trip aren't we Dad?" "yes" "that is a deer" "true" "but we aren't going to shoot it?" "are you crazy or something?" "I'm confused"

Day three: "Dad?" "yes" Uncle Jim has been sitting behind that bush since we told him Chuck the Six Pointer was in camp and he hasn't moved since" "ignore him, turn up the temp on the hot tub and pass me another chicken pot pie" "what if Chuck appears and Jim shoots him?" "what are the chances of that?" "remote"

Day four: "Dad" "yes" "do you like eating deer?" "no, it's too gamey for me" "Chuck agrees with you" "where is he by the way I haven't seen Chuck or Jim for a few days" "I'm not sure, Uncle Jim said something about tracking spoors and Chuck has gone to the high country for a few days to visit his friends, the bighorn sheep" "I miss Chuck"
Day five: "Dad" "yes" "I think we have to hunt for Uncle Jim" "we are parked in a paved parking lot for gawds sakes, six miles from Cranbrook, no one can get lost, he'll show up, the Wiser's is running low, maybe we should visit Brenda, Jim will never notice we are gone, he's got the spoor thing to worry about"
Last day: "Dad" "yes" "we gotta do this next year, we'll invite Uncle Don" "Uncle Don doesn't do hunting" "aah, well, I forgot about that"

No comments: