Most people, upon reaching puberty, don't change that much over the years. Let me dispel a myth: it can happen. Now that I'm over it, I can await with glee to see how the rest of the family copes with turning sixty. Now that I'm sixty-one I'm just permanently despondent, not suicidal any more.

When one is sixty-one, one can look at the bright side of life: in the middle ages, people only lived to be forty at most. I'm looking forward to receiving my first old-age pension cheque in four years. I'm going to use it to buy a noose and hang myself from a rafter.