Stocking stuffers:
I will buy the following:
A patridge in a pear tree: not only have I never seen a partridge, why would look for one in a pear tree? Okay I'll pass that one by.
Two turtle doves? First of all what is a turtle dove? And second of all who would want one much less two of them.
Three French hens: At least this sounds yummy, but I'm not going to France to get three of them. You are all getting a Canadian English hen and they will be alive so good luck.
Four calling birds: I hate fowl now. And anyway, if I knew what they were, I stuff them in a stocking? I hate birds.
Five golden rings: Now we are getting somewhere. Although at gold's prices now-a-days that could cost me $5,498,978.87. How about one golden ring, two silver one and and two bronze ones.
Six Geese-A-Laying: We are back to the fowl thing. If they are laying eggs that's not bad. I've had a goose egg but I wouldn't want six of them laying eggs at the same time.
Seven Swans a Swimming: I have a menagrie of fowl. You are all getting Fench hens, geese, calling birds, swans, etc. Kill them at your leisure. And when you get seven swans in your Christmas stocking don't come grousing to me.
Eight Maids a-Milking: That doesn't sound so bad. How I'll stuff eight of them in a stocking is a good question. What if they don't know how to milk? So much pressure.
Nine whom? Ladies dancing? Can the maids a milking overlap with the dancing ladies? I don't think I can get this many milking maids and dancing girls together at one time.
Ten Lords a Leaping? Hello. Whom would want ten men in a stocking? And leaping?
Eleven Pipers Piping: what else is a pickled piper who picked a porked pickled porkhock gonna do, but eleven of them? agh
Twelve Drummers Drumming: What else are drummers going do do. Presumably they should drum. Twelve seems excessive but what do I know? Drums get on my nerves very quickly. Can we have a picolo in there somewhere? Perahaps a harp? If one stuffs twelve drummers in a stocking I don't think the result will be the best.
I will buy the following:
A patridge in a pear tree: not only have I never seen a partridge, why would look for one in a pear tree? Okay I'll pass that one by.
Two turtle doves? First of all what is a turtle dove? And second of all who would want one much less two of them.
Three French hens: At least this sounds yummy, but I'm not going to France to get three of them. You are all getting a Canadian English hen and they will be alive so good luck.
Four calling birds: I hate fowl now. And anyway, if I knew what they were, I stuff them in a stocking? I hate birds.
Five golden rings: Now we are getting somewhere. Although at gold's prices now-a-days that could cost me $5,498,978.87. How about one golden ring, two silver one and and two bronze ones.
Six Geese-A-Laying: We are back to the fowl thing. If they are laying eggs that's not bad. I've had a goose egg but I wouldn't want six of them laying eggs at the same time.
Seven Swans a Swimming: I have a menagrie of fowl. You are all getting Fench hens, geese, calling birds, swans, etc. Kill them at your leisure. And when you get seven swans in your Christmas stocking don't come grousing to me.
Eight Maids a-Milking: That doesn't sound so bad. How I'll stuff eight of them in a stocking is a good question. What if they don't know how to milk? So much pressure.
Nine whom? Ladies dancing? Can the maids a milking overlap with the dancing ladies? I don't think I can get this many milking maids and dancing girls together at one time.
Ten Lords a Leaping? Hello. Whom would want ten men in a stocking? And leaping?
Eleven Pipers Piping: what else is a pickled piper who picked a porked pickled porkhock gonna do, but eleven of them? agh
Twelve Drummers Drumming: What else are drummers going do do. Presumably they should drum. Twelve seems excessive but what do I know? Drums get on my nerves very quickly. Can we have a picolo in there somewhere? Perahaps a harp? If one stuffs twelve drummers in a stocking I don't think the result will be the best.
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