Wow

It is nice here in Toronto today. Warm and sunny. Unfortunately my bike is in the bike shop getting tuned up but I did go for a walk. No wind which is the most unusual thing of all. Had a nice breakfast, one can't be in a bad mood today.

Although I came close. My neighbour has a Bich-Poo, which is a cross between a Bichon Frise and a Poodle. Cutest little thing in the world but it gnawed on my running shoe while we talked. And it wouldn't let go: "Doug?" "yes don?" "Munchkin seems to like my foot" "yes, it seems to be attracted to running shoes that are made in China, but it's cute isn't it" "how much did you pay for Munchkin?" "triple figures" "more than $99?" "much more, it really has taken a liking to you, Cynthia and I are going to the South of France in a couple of weeks would you like to look after Munchkin while we are gone?" "I'd love to, it would be an honour but I'm going to be admitting myself into the hospital and have a mini gastric bypass and I'm expecting post-nasal drip complications" "who's your physician?" "um, ah, oh Dr. Bloemfontein" "THE Dr. Bloemfontein?" "That's him, yes, it is him, you know of him?" "yes of course, he performed lipo-surgery on Cynthia"

So after I got rid of Munchkin and Doug, I walked down to the Sip and Bite for breakfast (which is near my bike shop, I had to see if my bike was being taken care of properly). The Sip and Bite is owned by two bossy Japanese sisters: Misaki and Mizuki. "Ah Mr. Storm you return for breakfast, where have you been?" "I've been busy, this and that, life marches on" "you will have our special, the Klondike Sunday Brunch?" "I think I'll have something different this time, I feel like pancakes today" "whom?" "I'll have pancakes" "Mizuki doesn't do pancakes" "a cheese omelette?" "we don't have cheese or eggs" "toast with peanut butter?" "you are having Yakisuba Noodles whether you like it or not" "can I get marmalade with it?" "no".

And then after leaving the Sip and Bite, I sat down on the bench outside my barbers to have a cigarette and soak up the sun: "Meester Storm, you don't like Luigi and me?" "I love you and Luigi, Pedro, I'll be in for a haircut next week, but please don't bring up the space/time continuum theory as a topic of discussion, it gets boring after a while" "can we talk about the fundamentals of phycological theories?" "perhaps but Luigi is rather set in his ways about giving me a bad haircut" "he's enrolled in a night-school for barbers"

Hi all,

It's warm here today (-2) relatively speaking. And not a cloud in the sky.

Yay.

I am not happy with Kevin. He let me down this time. The Storm's are supposed to be special but he makes a mockery of that thought. If I'm down there for the canoe weekend, and if Kevin is alone in the canoe with me, I'm going to drown him. Drowning is too nice a word. His lungs will fill with water and they will collapse and he will gasp for breath, and then I'm going to drown him. And after he's expired I'm going to use his body as deadweight on the front end of the canoe because I'm a better conoeist than him and I will decide where we paddle: "Kev, you are quiet, oh I forgot your dead" "We are conoeing through this maze of thistles and if you were alive you'd be frightened" "I don't see any family, do you think we are lost, Kev?" "I know you are deceased but could you at least paddle a bit?" "why are your knees so knobby, even when you are expired, your knees are knobby" "and it's your and Anita's turn to make lunch, I'm presuming it will be a good one, I'll do the mustard in your absence, you can look after the canoe while the rest of us eat" "and I've solved one thing by drowning you, we'll have enough chicken wings to go around" "and you won't have to hide behind a tire this evening" "if you were alive I would insist you walk to the highway and lay down on the dotted line and wait for a semi to run over you" "maybe I'll carry your bod to the highway, at least you aren't heavy, and have Justin, Ger and Col run over you with their trucks while we wait for a big semi carrying a full load of liquid nitrogen to appear" "and every autum, Jim and Ger and me will stop by the campsite and look for a lost body" "hello, why did we stop and look for Jen's baseball mitt when I knew it was in Colin's truck the whole time?" "Ger, why are we looking for a mitt when we all know that it is in Colin's truck?" "because we are stupid and are members of the Storm clan" "so it's a complete waste of time" "yes but we have to look" "what if we find it?" "ignore it, it's in Colin's truck" "I found Kevin's body, I guess I didn't bury deep enough in July" "oh this is where he is, I wondered, Delorus did mention that she hadn't seen Kevin for a while"

So I think I will survive, but I just don't do Kevin any more. Don't need it.

Take care everyone else.

uncle

So I don't like Kevin at the moment. He's got his reasons but none of them are very good. He will need the family soon but I guess it takes a while for him. I do apologize to Bob, because he was looking forward to seeing Kevin. It's a Storm thing and Kevin thinks he's better than us at the moment. I think we all worry about Kevin a bit, but yet he won't be one of the family.

I'm not going to be moving down there anytime soon If I have to put up with that. I talked to Logan and Ty and that was fun, but I don't do Kevin. I don't have enough energy left to tell him that he erred.

uncle

It was rather strange today: "uncle don, what is that odd feeling?" "warmth" "I don't see an icycle hanging from your nose" "it is strange to walk outside and not feel pain" "when are you going to ride your bike uncle don?" "when the twenty-four foot snowbanks disappear which could be in August" "are you going to kill yourself uncle don?" "I hadn't thought about it, should I?" "there are extenuating circumstances which behoove you to jump off a tall building" "and what are those circumstances?" "you are angst-ridden and you look pale" "I always look pale, and by the way, conciousness, you don't look that good yourself" "I won't feel pain though which is a plus" "you mean if I jump, you won't feel a thing?" "nope" "nothing?" "nil" "even if I land on my head?" "sorry"

By the way, I'm moving up to Churchill, Manitoba this summer. "where?" "Churchill" "why?" "I'm as one with polar bears" "the ice is disappearing" "I know I gotta see them soon" "when you grow up what are you going to do?" "be a star explorer" "whom?" "buddy, I mean conciousness, I've read nothing but sci-fi for the last five to seven years, I must have read a thousand books of that genre and not one of them could convince me that there isn't something after death" "why do you think that when your analytical mind knows that is not true?" "I could have not gone out west just before Marlene passed away and I so easily could have not travelled out west in January and hugged Roy" "a coincidence" "perhaps but I don't think so"

And if I may say, Francis Collins, the head of the Human Genome Project, was quoted as saying "the genetic code is the language of God" I think so, that does not mean I believe in the scriptures, I don't, but I believe in "something". I've read every article in the New Yorker and many books on comas. And I don't know. But I did play my guitar once with Max in a trailer at Kevins. His tail was wagging and I had my voice: two individuals whom had the greatest time in the history of mankind for a little while.

Weekend forecast/time change

This is a reminder to everyone in the known universe that this Sunday morning at 2am we should move our clocks ahead by one hour (as if I'm going to be up at 2am). Except if you live in Creston. I presume the people whom decide these things realized it wouldn't work in Creston. For example, can one imagine Kevin having to get up an hour earlier all of a sudden. The grumbling and teeth gnashing that would ensue. I wouldn't want to be around him for about a month after the change.

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It looks like we are going to have weather this weekend. It's -6 here in Toronto this morning so I'll only have to wear two layers of clothing to work and not six like I've had to for the past several months (it seems like an eternity). And it's actually getting up to +2 today, with highs of +6 on Saturday and Sunday. There will be celebrations on the street. This is beyond even me: In Calgary, tomorrow will +13 and sunny, Sunday will be +14 and sunny and on Monday it's getting up to +16 with nothing but sun. Well there is obviously going to be a drought on the prairies this summer. Hello. And Cranbrook is getting up to +11 over the weekend with some cloud. And Creston will have a high of +10 on Sunday but at least they can expect a shower or two. Has the Moyie River ever flooded in March? It probably will this year.

Bob's pics

Of course the most important thing it me is seeing the Thames. Although I don't read crimes stories, etc. any more, the Thames was always there. And Bob and Lorraine have shown me pictures of Jordon and so much else. Bob and Lorraine have got the world of travel sewn up. In Jordon, Lorraine somehow managed to sit at the dinner table with all the men which isn't done.

And Bob loves travelling to. I'm hoping they might e-mail me pictures and call me on the cell phone so I could do a running narrative for the National Geographic channel: "yes Lorraine?" "Bob and I are in a laberynth, we are not sure where we should turn" "have you tried left? " "we see mummys" "mummys?" "and an asp" "any sign of Elizabeth Taylor, I mean Cleopatra?" "no, but King Tut is here" "you must be in Egypt" "close, we are in the London Museum of Mummys" "I didn't know there was one" "it just opened" "are there any tombs?" thousands". to be continued.....

More Laurie's pics

I've done a few crosswords in my lifetime: what is a Hawaiian goose, or what is the state bird of Hawaii? Of course it's the Nene, but I did not know they were an endangered species.

As I reflect on the past week, I can only say agh. It was not a good one and it was obviously worse for Jim, Ger, Kev and Julie and it continues.

But if there was one bright side of the week for me was that I felt 'in the loop' even though I'm so far away. Bob was especially good at keeping me up-to-date on Roy's condition and the e-mails from Ger, Julie and Jim were appreciated so much. The one from Julie especially from the I.C.U. waiting room was especially appreciated.

Can I talk about our weather down here for a moment? We got off work early yesterday because of the weather. But I'd planned to go to our local library because I had nothing to read (other than six partially read New Yorker magazines and a few books that are also partially read but weren't turning me on much). And so I still went to the library and it was open! Manna from heaven as I didn't expect it. There was one librarian assistant still on duty and one old guy whom was probably the librarian assistant's father waiting to take her home, since they both glared at me. So I quickly picked out a few books and checked them out and prepared for the seven-block walk home. This library is located next to a huge complex of apartment buildings but I didn't see anyone walking around on the streets. "oh oh" I thought.

So I set out for home and was immediately buffeted by hurricane-force winds. And that is when I was walking with the wind. Then I had to turn against it and walk four loooong walks to get home. I actually heard two persons talking for a bit walking behind me, but I'm sure they were swept away by the wind; gawd knows where they ended up. It's the first time in my life that snow flakes actually hurt when they hit my eyeballs. And I still had a few blocks to go. "Okay, Don, there is no one around, walk backwards for a while into the wind" Obviously that didn't work since I can hardly walk forwards on good days. And the brief time I tried it, I almost walked into my next door neighbour walking her Bluetick Coonhound (rich persons and their 'dogs' don't seem to be affected by whiteouts and blizzard conditions).

But I managed to reach my gate and saw a white house in front of me: "home!" "warmth!" Except the gate was frozen shut because by then the freezing rain had started and there was two inches of ice around the catch. In despair I knocked on someone's door and they unthawed me and offered me a cognac which I drank greedily. Needless to say I went to work hungover this morn.

I might exaggerate a bit but not much.

Laurie and Robert's trip to Hawaii in January 2007

If I needed a lift in spirits (which I did), Laurie certainly provided it. It was tough to choose only three pictures of the ones I perused, but I chose these ones. I will post more in the future.
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I have never been to Hawaii but I can see it is amazing, and with the massive storm that swept through Toronto in the last few days it even looks more beautiful.

Update

From Jim:

"they had to have emergency operation yesterday as they found a blood clot, as well his swelling started up again bad, so they rushed him in. He got out of operation about 7:30 pm, seems to be stable now, again back into waiting game"

And after receiving the above e-mail, I talked to Bob and he said Roy opened his eyes a bit and squeezed Julie's hand. So there may be reason for a bit of optimism.

Update as at March 1, 5am

Julie sent me this e-mail from the I.C.U. waiting room at the Foothills Hospital:

"Dad went in for surgery about 3 pm today to remove a blood clot in the front part of his brain, which in turn will hopefully relieve some of the pressure. The sooner they can bring the swelling down, the sooner they can bring him out of the coma, and there will be less chance of developing pneumonia and other complications , because at the moment the machines are breathing for him, and so he's unable to clear his lungs completely. Of course there can be complications from surgery as well (such as infection), and there's no way of knowing just what the outcome will be. All we can do is hope and pray for the best, and I'll be letting my brothers know how the surgery went as soon as I talk to the Neurosurgeon (whom is apparently world-renowned)."

I talked to Bob later last night and the surgery is over of course and it is now 'wait-and-see'. Bob is going to visit him today at noon, so will know more later today from either Julie and/or Bob.

Update at at Dec 27 @ 11:49pm from Ger

Jim talked to the doc's and of course it's the ultimate doom and gloom scenario.They don't want any false hopes in case something doesn't work out.The swelling on the brain is still occurring and they expect it to stop in the next couple days.This is a normal thing which takes anywhere up to 4 days.After the swelling goes down and hopefully they won't have to operate to relieve the pressure,they will be able to make a better assumption on his condition.They are still doing CAT scans to ensure that the bleeding and swelling are within safe limits.They did tell Jim that full recovery is 30%.His dying is 30%,and his having some sort of brain damage was 30%.What happened to the last 10% is maybe he'll be able to play the piano later ???
Anyhow we are all hanging in there and can only pray for the best..We know he's a tough nut or else he wouldn't be a Storm

Boy I had some good friends in Calgary: Ken Fujikawa, Ron and Glen Higa, Dave Shima, Bob Fujino, and Gord The Dentist whom I can't remember the last name of. I was the only white guy to ever bowl in a Japanese league and be invited to a tournament in Lethbridge and win it. Just what they didn't want. I got hot and bowled ten strikes in a row. And of course I was the only white guy in their curling league and travelled up to Edmonton several times to curl in the Japanese Bonspiel.

And of course I went to Europe with Gord The Dentist and a friend of his in 1968 or 1969. In Amsterdam we saw Jimi Hendrix and we didn't realize what a superstar we were seeing at the time. And drove through Switzerland (which I compare to Creston) and down the Rhone River. Munich was good, the beer halls. So in Switzerland, on the spur of the moment, we decide to fly to Majorca, Spain. We are on a tight budget so we found the cheapest hotel room with a view of the Mediterrean. So me an Gord sat on the 'plaza del sol' every afternoon and and drank cheap red wine and watched the creme de la creme of European society walk by: "Gord?" "yes?" "I'm in love" "with whom?" "I can't actually choose one person but that chick batted an eyelash at me" "she's with Ari, his yaught is out on the harbour" "'I'm in love" "she is taken"

"I wan't to paint" "you can't paint, do you know anything about shades of colours?" "whom?" If you are going to be a famous painter you have be able to paint nudes with there arms extended" "like michangelo" "him to, but don't forget about Ralph" Ralph whom?" "Ralph the sistene chapal painter whom has to pee a lot" "one can't pee a lot when one is painting a mural" "Ralph did" "uncle don?" "yes my son" "you've got the weirdest mind in the history of mankind and in fact there is no one stranger than you in the universe" "that bad aye, I love family" "in fact your bod should be put away...you love family?" "I loved family before it was chic" "I must admit you have never waivered in your love for us in the last thousand years, many persons would have given up" But when I see friends I see friends. It is amazing that I stuck with you guys.


And Neil and Robin. They annoyed me to, although they are cute. It would have been so much easier on me if Marlene and Anna didn't have cute children: "marlene?" "what?" After Laurie, presumably you and Leo won't have any more cute children. I think Donna is about to be born" "whom?" "the cutest child in the history of mankind" "I thought Laurie was." Robin is about to emerge before Donna" "whom?"

So I was thinking, it's not possible to have anyone cuter than Kev, Donna and Ger (whom even then was chubby). "Marlene you can't possibly have another child" "Gail is the last one" "I presume she will be cute, I get tired of cuteness" "Gail will be a little cuter than everything you have ever seen and you will succumb to her cuteness. "I'm above that...she's cute? "yes and so is Neil. I must admit it was fun to watch pregnant people. Anna, if you have another one it will be Kevin. Can we think about this?


Robin was good. He had the biggest forehead of all time"robin, you have a big forehead" "This was before Kevin and Gail existed And Laurie was running rampant amongst the mushrooms. "you can't eat those things, they are deadly, chomp, chomp, chomp" I must admit it was fun to to watch you guys. Cute and special. I'd love to talk to Donna someday. If anyone wants to make to make feel good it would be that. Yes, I think she is more special than anyone else in the history of mankind. I don't know if Donna would ever want to talk to me, but I'd be honoured if she did.

Golfing with Ger

Although Ger looks like he is going to wrestle a steer when he steps up to the golf ball, he gets surprisingly good results: "ger?" "yes uncle don" "how did you hit that ball so good when you appeared to be ready to ride a bull bareback when you unlimbered?" "technique" "technique?" "and mind over matter" "mind over matter?" "I focus" "you focus......on what?" "the little white thingy with dimples in it" "it's a golf ball....g o l f b a l l, try to remember that".

Of course Ger is alledgedly the one with the bad back. Whenever I see him I usually ask him how his back is. Has anyone noticed that he is spryer than a spring chicken when he walks down the fairway after hitting the golf ball three hundred yards? He actually isn't pompous about it even though thoughts of breaking his knee caps with a sledgehammer cross my mind. "uncle don?" "what?" "how far is it to the green?" "two hundred and forty-one yards, use a two wood" "I don't have a two wood so I will use this trusty seven iron" "seven iron, you will be way short of the green" Boink, soar, plop, and roll six inches from the cup: "ger?" "yes uncle don?" "it's a good thing the death penalty has been abolished in Canada, if we were in Texas I'd have you hung from a rafter and watch you writhe, there is a law in physics that says it is not possible to hit a seven iron that far, Newton was wrong I guess, and so much for Einstein's theory although your time/space continuum is definitely warped"

Has anyone noticed but me that Ger is sneaky on the green. He pretends to check out the contour of the green: "ger?" "yes uncle don" "you've got six inches, tap the &*^(% ball in the hole" "I have to take note of the swale" "how can you have a swale when you are within six inches of the hole, do you enjoy excruciating pain?"

And so of course I'm fuming when we are walking to the next hole. A water hole. It ain't the Pacific Ocean but it looks like it to me. "Time for the long clubs Ger, we have to drive over that vast expanse of water" "time for my seven iron" "your whom?" "okay maybe my five iron" "your whom?" Not only does Ger hit the ball over the water, he lands in the fairway. "ger?" "yes uncle don" "I have a pounding headache and my knees feel weak and I feel nauseous" Plop, plop, plop, plop. Four of my balls land in the water. "ger?" "yes uncle don" "I'm out of golfballs" "would you like to borrow one of mine?" "I'd like to string you up and have army ants eat your eyeballs out but yes please"

But I managed to beat him by one stroke. And this was only at Canyon Meadows but it was a delight for me. I also partnered with Ger at Kokanee Springs once. We are competitive and don't like to lose. Why would one play any game if one doesn't want to win badly?

Update

Roy was flown from Cranbrook to Calgary overnight. Not sure which hospital. I will keep this site updated as I get info.

As at 12:37 pm, Sunday. Bob visited Roy at the Foothills Hospital and he is more optomistic about Roy's condition than he was before. Dawn is optomistic too which is encouraging. He has movement in all limbs which is a good sign. At the moment it's a 'wait-and-see' stance by the doctors on whether they will operate in the future. Bob and Lo will visit Roy again this afternoon.

Golfing with Kevin

I kind of enjoy golf. I've even been told by a few that I can swing a club with flair. And after hitting the ball it's enjoyable to walk down the first fairway, maybe not to heaven but at least to hell.

Off the Tee:

Kevin, I'm sorry your name comes up first in my memory. If one does golf with Kevin, wear body armour. And of course as we all know the safest place to stand when one is golfing with Kevin is in front of him. I actually stood behind him once thinking: this spot should be okay. So he hit the ball and it went plink, plinck, plink, plink, plink and then finally it hit me on back of head. It didn't hurt because the ball was travelling quite slow by then but it was quite a shock.

First Hint: If one must golf with Kevin, have 19 beer in the clubhouse beforehand.


In the Fairway:

If Kevin hits a good shot on the fairway (which almost never happens) say "wow". For at least fifteen seconds he'll feel good. If he doesn't (the norm) be prepared for a three wood coming your way at speed. And yes he is trying to kill you as well as trying to break his three wood. And above all don't try to talk him into using a five iron, he thinks he's Tiger Woods: "Kev" "what!!!!!" "it's only a hundred yards to the green" "really, I don't have my glasses with me" "use a quiet wedge, the wind is with you" "I'm using a five iron and hitting it hard" "zooooom" "Kevin?" "yes" "your Titleist DM2 has landed in the club pro's cheese omelet up on the patio and he hasn't noticed that he is going to chip his tooth on a very hard boiled egg" "uncle don don't look, pretend we are golfing" "I thought we were golfing, use your ^$%$^% quiet wedge this time"

Second Hint: If one must golf with Kevin, don't let him choose his own clubs.

In the Bunker:

This could be the most annoying part of Kevin's golf game. Kevin rakes the sand trap before he steps in it" "Kevin?" "what" "now that you've made the sand trap pretty I hope you will hit a good shot" "of course.....whiff" "you didn't hit anything including a ball or sand" "do you want this sand wedge wrapped around your neck or just the pointy end of it sticking out of your gall bladder?" "try again but this time aim for the ball" "whoossh" "I see something white, it's beautiful, it's.... going into the lake.

Third Hint: If one must golf with Kevin, go to a course without sand.....or fairways....or water...or greens for that matter.

In the Lake:

99.99% of the population don't know the extent to which Storms won't take a two shot penalty for an unplayable lie : "Kev?" "mmft" "is your scuba gear airtight?" "mmft" "rembember it's a Titliest Dm2" "mmft" "how is the breathing apparatus?" "mmft" "what iron do you want?" "mmft" "a nine iron, yes of course, good choice, there is a camera crew here and they want to catch you in slow-mo although I imagine slo-mo is all you can do. Get a fish while you are down there, I'll want some sushi later.

Fourth hint: If one must golf with Kevin, take breathing apparatus.

On the Green:

"Kevin?" "what" "that is my Titliest Dm5 you are about to hit" "where is my Dm2?" "you drilled it from the water , it went in the hole, that is the most amazing golf shot I've ever seen, you will be on ESPN" "what did I get in this hole?" "nineteen, but still that is quite amazing, ESPN has decided to put you on both their Fishing for Sushi and Golfing Without Pain programs, you'll be famous"

Fifth and last hint: If one must golf with Kevin, take a jug of whisky, pain killers, a fish net, a lot of golf balls and prepare to have fun. I enjoy it.

Recap:

I once golfed with Jim in Saskatoon and he got a hole-in-one. The golf ball never left the ground, it went merrily on it's way, me and Ken Fujikawa watched it slowly wend it's way down the fairway, up the green and into the cup. Hello. And Ger is actually a pretty good golfer. He doesn't get many points for style but the ball does seem to respond. My next golf installment will be about Ger. There is intrigue and pain involved which is not surprising.

I'm worried about Creston: "uncle don?" "what, I need a nap" "the lawn needs cutting" "by the way where is the highway?" "down that-a-way" "I'm not well" "why not uncle don?" "it's only my third day in Creston and I'm ready to keel over" "you came from Toronto and you are ready to keel over already?" "it's the high altitude" "Toronto and Creston are about the same altitude actually". "it's the bugs, I'm being eaten alive". "the misquitoes died off with the frost last weekend". "my lymph nodes are acting up again" "you had them removed remember" I presume Kevin will be a slave driver, at least I hope he is. Not in a remote chance will I listen to him of course.

One thing sticks in my mind and I wasn't there. Roy and Kevin being timekeepers at a hockey game. Kevin was quite young so the onus was on Roy to keep time. I could tell you from six hundred and fifty-three thousand miles away that that isn't going to work out too well, there will be problems. And there was. Everytime I hear the story from Kevin, I roll around on the floor laughing because it is a classic event in the Storm history. I love stories where one tries so hard but doesn't quite succeed. That is me so much. I could tell a thousand stories about me and my exploits and it is refreshing to hear about others.

One thing I noticed about myself is that it took me a little while to come around after I'd been away for so long as regards blending in to the Storm/Creston way of thinking. I've got it now. Okay it only took me a couple of seconds, for others it would have taken years. Being around Ger and Kev for me is quite special because they are crazy. It drives me crazy at work. There are about four or five stand-up comedians at work whom haven't quite made it yet. I've gone to see them all at comedy clubs because they are friends. The one that could be a super-star does his own material and it's pathetic, but I'm never going to tell him that.

Watching John Miller was a treat for me, not necessarily what he said the way he said it: his eyes would light up and whatever he said you knew was going to be really funny. Anna had a sharp mind in her prime, I've never enjoyed talking to someone so much as her. Anna got me more than anyone else who has ever lived. By quite a bit actually. Anna almost knew what I was going to say on the phone. Several times I got off the phone with Anna and said: "whew, I just met my match" as sweat was running down my brow.