One of the highlights of my life was spending time with Neil and Kev in Calgary. I didn't mind it. It wasn't a bad thing. Hello. They treated me good. Those two are kind of special in my mind. All of my family is of course, but they were funnee.

I've gone through some pictures that I have been sent over the years. From Bob, Anna, Marlene, Aunt Gladys, Ger; some good ones. some really good ones. I will get them scanned and post them.

I was going to say life is good. Hello. I hate it when I think that. I'm in pain. Not at this particular moment but I will be soon I'm sure. I feel something coming on: the flu, a migraine and/or various tropical diseases even though I haven't been to the tropics. They find me. Why did I bring that up, now I have a headache. My back is recovering (thank you Bob for asking) and did I mention I have no circulation in my upper and lower limbs? Why is it that I feel not bad now but 99999999.99% of the time I don't feel that great. Don't be surprised at any time to receive a phone call from Toronto: "Your uncle is on the verge of dying and he may not pull through" "should we rush down there?" "I wouldn't rush, take your time" "will he survive?" "it depends" "on what?" "he doesn't think you love him enough and he might jump from a tall building or hang himself from a rafter" "how is his pulse?" "It's flickering, it comes and goes". "should we worry about uncle don?" "he's not going to keel over in the next six minutes, but eventually you will have to spread his ashes over his favourite bike path"

"How long has he got" "it depends really, if everyone cooks him good food and slowly, ever so slowly nurses him back to health over an extended period of time (don't forget the coddling), he can have amazing recuperative powers".

I love these pics. This is a Storm Clan member (not mentioning any names) whom is, if not already the Great Grand Poobah Upcoming Soon To Be, is getting there, his gaze into oblivion is the best I've seen yet. And he's in London. He may have a leg up on the rest of us grand poobahs.

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We are amateurs: Jim gazes into space from a boat, Ger does it from a duck blind, Kev does it from a round table, I do it when I'm sitting on the can but Bob travels to London. Bob obviously took notes from The Great Grand Poobah Of All Time (Roy) whom only gazes into space when he is smoking a pipe and looking out the window as his homestead is moving down the highway at 65 kliks an hour.

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Seriously though Bob looks good. Doesn't he? Wow. Especially his huge forehead. One could try to kick a field goal from one end of it and not hit the end zone. I'm kidding of course, he's a cutie.

I will be posting more pics of Bob and Lorraine in the future. They bought a new trailer. And they just got back from England and Poland. Hello. Boy did I make some wrong moves in life.

from Poland

These are just three of the great pics that Bob took from Poland that I chose to highlight. Note that Lorraine is in everyone of them. Not a coincidence.

I was considering not showing these pics that Bob took at the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum in Oswiecim, Poland on my blog. For only a second. I had the opportunity to see another concentration camp when I visited Munich Germany many years ago and I just couldn't bring myself to go. These are just three pics to remind us all that life is precious..so very precious.

A wee short note

I wasn't able to bike today, a Friday. For every reason known to mankind: the weather, my back, and lacking brakes on my bike (which hopefully I will get fixed this weekend). But I still feel like a lazy, good for nothing person. Can a sixty-one year old white male be angst ridden and anorexic? I'm thinking of the exercise regime I will start any day now: push-ups (unfortunately I've got the weakest arms in the history of mankind so that's out); running-on-the spot (unfortunately I can't run on the go much less run on the spot); skip rope (I can't find a single store in Toronto that stocks skipping ropes); hang myself from a rafter (it's an option); sit-ups (this is the one, they'll keep my washboard stomach from looking like a wash basin stomach).

I read an article in the New York Times on the Okanagan Valley weeks ago. As is my habit sometimes I like to praise persons for work well done, and so I looked up the Okanagan Valley Tourist Board and sent them a congratulatory e-mail on their good work. As it happened the person who responded to me was Deanna who grew up in Cranbrook. I have an open invitation to stop in anytime when I'm out there and she'll give me a guided tour of Kelowna. I just sent her another e-mail which may prompt her to adopt me....can a sixty-one year old white male be adopted?

from Neil

Spectacular pics of Rae Glacier in the Kananaskis. That is Neil skiing in the top pic.

I see blue sky....ooh, that's what it looks like.

from Ger

A pic from the hot tub of the (presumably) first snowfall.

We haven't had snow yet in T.O. It's just been overcast for 9,000 days in a row...snow would be a relief.

A hodgepodge

- I live in a yuppie neighbourhood. All the couples who live in my neighbourhood are in their thirties and are lawyers and accountants who are on their way to being CE.O.s. There are very few kids on my street. Today, on the way to the store, I was following two women whom were walking their Swiss Border Dachhounds: "my ex is friends with my current husband, Claude, they get along well". "really, my ex is an Aries and he can't stand Chad whom is a Leo." I immediately got a headache and felt nauseous.

- A Christmas tree was put up in the lobby at work last Wednesday. If I had anything to do with anything I would ban Christmas decorations until at least December 15th.

- If I was marooned on an island, I wouldn't want to be rescued by Madonna.

- The CFL finals. The best of memories sitting in McMahon Stadium in the coldest of weather.

- Actually if I was marooned on an island I wouldn't want be marooned with Jim, Ger or Kev: Jim: "Uncle Don did I tell you about the time I.." "Sixteen hundred times" "what about the time I.." "two thousand and twelve times" "And remember..." "you're talking" "but.." "just be quiet and climb that tree and get us some coconuts" Ger: "Uncle Don I'm going cut down that coconut tree and make it into a semi-detached bungalow." "where are you going to get the shale for the spiral staircase?" "you have to swim out to that reef." "That's twelve miles away, I'm not that good a swimmer" "Flipper will help you carry the shale back." Kev: "Uncle Don have you seen my shotgun?" "your who'm?" "my shotgun" "you mean that thing with a hair trigger?" "Uh huh" "are you in a good mood today?" "not particularly." "um, well you see a shark attacked us while you slept and I used it to fend off impending doom" "I'm going a make a shotgun out of that coconut tree" "good idea, great idea, amazingly great idea, take your time"

- As I may have mentioned, I pulled a muscle in my back. That is pain. I had to take three days off work. Who cares. The thing is, it was more comfortable for me to sit, trying to lay down and sleep was impossible. And at sixy-one, one's sleep patterns are more or less defined: "ten o-clock, time for bed." "I can't move." "You have to go to bed." "Just this once can I not move?" "okay I'll go to bed, ach, ouch, gad, aah" "that wasn't so bad was it?" "now what do I do?" "sleep" "sleep?, I'm in complete &(%^ pain and I'm supposed to sleep, I've never been more awake in my life, and I can't sleep on my back, I just can't do that, I have to be in a fetal position" "you know if I wasn't your concience I would move on to someone else, gawd you are a baby." "okay here goes, I'm astir, moving to lay on my left side (my fave), do you think my screaming will wake up the neighbourhood?" "think positively in between the searing pain, at least you are not angst-ridden at the moment"

- When I finally do move out to Creston, there will be many, many things I will miss about Toronto. It is the greatest city in the world I think. But I don't think I should have decided to come to Creston at Christmas. It's going to kill me coming back. But when Anita yells at me from across the table when I'm talking to Kev on the phone "Uncle Don, come home for Christmas", one can hardly refuse. It wasn't that bad the last time. I don't know how I do it actually. I guess I must have some inner strength that I don't know about and only use for moments like those. It is not easy, I tell you that one.

- Okay I will do this once. Only for unbiased purposes mind you. Jim is okay. If one was going to write a history of the world he might not be included. But he should be. There is a person whom I respect. He's not bad. And Ger. He is angst-ridden too and I find that so endearing. And Kev is the one whom understands me and there is not that many persons around who do.

- Perhaps I shouldn't be invited anywhere. Last Sunday morn I set myself on fire. This won't make Kev happy but yes I did. Why am I billowing in smoke? Oh, my robe is on fire. Thankfully I was able to put the fire out before it spread. 99.99% of the time l lead a normal life. It's that .01% that is a problem. I completely think I'm a victim of circumstance.

- Agh. guess what? I was talking to Col and he either got bored with me or hung up because Kev wanted him to. I going to spend money that I can't afford coming out there? I don't think so. I'm not good at climbing stairs. Especially after a few beer. I've never seen Kev's upper floors. Hello: I couldn't climb those sober. I bike to Etobicoke and back every day and have survived near-death experiences but I can't climb Kev's stairs. Once, and only once, I did take the stairs down. "watch the step Uncle Don there is one missing". "one what?" "step". "why is every step wobbly, if I fall I'll sue you". By the way this is where me and Anita snuggle" "yay, if I'm not upstairs within sixteen seconds I'm going to kill myself". "you don't like it?" "it seems kind of dark" "you don't like what Anita has done to it, she'll kill you when she finds that out". "Dark in a good way" If I lived there I would keep the deck and torch the house. If I somehow had money and was Kevin, I'd make that place into the greatest place of all time. Sitting around the table and throwing darts doesn't do it.

I don't understand why Col hangs up me. So I look around and wonder if I'm an asshole. All my life I've had to dumb down. I completely get tired of pretending I'm stupid. Actually maybe I am.

Sunday morning musings with coffee

I must admit, it's nice to be able to pick up the phone and talk to Kev with his new attitude towards me. I try not to take advantage of it although I woke him up yesterday morning. I'm always up at five a.m .so phoning him at nine was quite an achievement in patience for me. And I talked to Ger. Geez that was nice. If there was something I could do about not phoning them I would do it. Only because I don't want to seem like a pest. But there is nothing I can do about it. On Friday during the working day I say: "no phoning family this weekend". And of course after six beer I have to. Oh well, I could be a serial killer. Or a porn star (well you never know, it could happen). So I guess loving my family is not so bad.

And I have pics of Bob and Lorrraine's trip to England and Poland to post this week. And I talked to Karri-man and Loretta. And beloved Anita. I didn't talk to Jim, Col, and Ty but they know I love them. Why would anyone care? I'm annoying. I'm sure. I think 61 is too young to hate Mondays. I have a problem with Mondays. You guys are all so young so you wouldn't get it. An old like me just drags his ass getting up monday morn. I wrore the below sober so don't expect much. And I love classical music. I think I'm good. I really do. I have to prove it to you.



it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. That wasn't a bad experience. I felt completely honoured. Last summer was rediculous for me. I'm a normal person whom should be treated with respect but that's it. Although it is nice to be treated special I must admit. I don't deserve it. Of course when I actually move to Creston it will be different: from Jim: Now that I've got you ice fishing and you have no where to go I'm going to talk about my last hunting expedition for twelve hours straight. from Ger: I'm going to build the Great Wall of China and you have to help me carry the rocks down from the summit. from Kev: if you're sitting on the deck in the morning contemplating life and utter a sound, I'm going to shoot you. In fact if you blink you are dead. In fact If you don't throw that dart now you are dead. You don't have to explain to us why the trajectory has to be like an arc. And we are never playing Trivial Persuit. And start walking towards town and the bus station, you are a threat to mankind.

A warning

On the outside, it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. But none of you have any idea about me. Nil. You three are too tame for me. I'm better than you guys by a thousand times. You guys wouldn't do what I do in a trillion years. 'no pain, no gain': Jim, Kev, Ger and Rob are not up to my standards. You guys can do all you want but you will never, ever be up to me. You have no idea about me, I guarantee you there. I'm so much better than you will ever realize.

Monday morning I'm going to be hitting the road again. And you guys will just jump in the truck and go to work: "no pain, no gain" Just be careful. To me you all seem to be indistructable but if I ever lost one of you I'd have to kill myself.

A day in the life...

I must admit sometimes I'm a trifle tired when I get home from work. As in today....

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4:45-6:20 am: get up, start coffee perking, shower, drink coffee while reading my favourite newspaper websites for the news, make breakfast (this morning consisting of hash browns, scrambled eggs, toast with marmelade, and sliced tomatoes), make my lunch (consisting of a bagel with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and a pickle) and then make my first major decision of the day. What to wear to work. When biking to work in November in Toronto it's all about the weather. Is it raining now? If not will it be raining when I bike home? Should I wear two pairs of gloves or just one? And it goes on and on, but today there was no rain forecast so it wasn't quite such a major decision. But I did wear the wrong pair of gloves because it was colder than I thought. I forget to check out the ^$$^)(&$% wind chill.

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6:21-7:35 am: bike to work. This of course is normally my fave time of the day. But this morning I was starting work an hour earlier because we are busy and so I had to make the second major decision of the day: take a route to work I hate, but which take less time, or the one with less traffic but takes fifteen minutes longer. I took the shorter route but grumbled under my breath something about: 'when am I gonna stop and smell the roses?'.

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8:00-4:00 pm: During this period of time I made the third through tenth major decisions of the day. Should I eat the energy bar on my first break or the slice of pound cake? Should I work until five and make a little extra money? And of course, being Friday, I had extra major decisions to make. If I do my grocery shopping tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow. If I go to my usual drug store tonight and buy the ibuprofin and vitamin pills tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow (by the way why does everything run out at the same time?). But I survived my hated job for another week at least.

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4:00-5:05 pm: The wind was with me I guess. Friday biking home is the one day I clear my head and just enjoy it.

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5:06-5:27 pm: grocery shop. I've shopped at this particular Food Basics for a long time. Pretty well got it down except my bank card never works in the slot. Well, I can't make it work, they have no prob making it work. I seethe for at least a minute after I've bought groceries there, wondering why I don't have the touch (don't I lead a wonderfully exciting life?). Take groceries home and lock up my bike up for the 75th time today.

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5:28-5:51 pm: Slowly walk up the stairs and take my backpack and bike helmet off and collapse. And remember it's Friday. Who cares about one-a-day vitamins? Who cares about a back ache? It's beer time!

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5:52-6:00 pm: Hippity-hop down the stairs, unlock the bike lock, jump on the bike and hit the beer store and am back in eight minutes (could be a record).

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It was nice to receive this e-mail from Ger: 'well unc of the funk,i just spent the last hour reviewing the Stormblog and what you have written in the last 6 months..Let me tell you that my stomach hurts from laughing and i think that your writing is awesome!!! Thanks for having a website that we can look at and review what's happening in little old Creston that's being written by our uncle in Toronto--how bizarre is that?' Great to hear, but I can't seem to find any editor out there that wants to publish anything I have to say. I don't look that hard because I don't have time.

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Recently the New York Times wrote a great article on the Okanagan: 'a hidden treasure' type thing. I looked up the tourism board for the Okanagan and sent them an e-mail congratulating them on their success. Got a great e-mail back from whomever at the tourism board and thanking me for making their day. I have no idea what my role in life is supposed to be. The point being is I like to make people feel good about themselves (except my family, they don't listen).

I feel like I'm going through hell right now, I really do, but I imagine everyone goes through the same thing when they are sixty-one. I have to figure out a way to get to Roy and Leo's zaniness (and happiness it seems to me) without actually being zany and happy. Zany is not the correct word, but when I talk to Leo, I feel younger. I haven't talked to Roy for months but I can't imagine him being much different.

They are the two that I think we should be completely pleased about and thank gawd they are still with us.

Yay.

from Ger

Well it finally happened ---yahooooo----grandfatherdom here i come!!!!! I just got home from Kamloops,mother and baby are fine. Here's pic's of Lane Walter Tozer..The newest addition to the Storm family

from Robin

We were just up in Calgary, I went to Lethbridge to play oldtimers hockey (I bet you can't believe I'm an oldtimer), and Karen went to Calgary to see Colleen play against U of C. We got blown out early so I went up with a buddy to catch the volleyball game last night. Karen and Colleen were surprised to see me. Colleen led her team in kills. We drove home today and Colleen flew back to Vancouver. Marcel was up in Kamloops for the weekend playing volleyball tourny.

I was just e-mailing Jim and something hit me. An idea. Really and truly I go through hell. But I may have one of the greatest senses of humour in the history of mankind. Perhaps that is why I'm on this earth. It's not that difficult when you have relatives like mine. Hello. I can tell a funny story about every single one my relatives. Every single one. I haven't even come close yet to writing my memories down, but they are stored up my brain and they will be written some day. I've really, really tried to write serious stuff. It's beyond me. I see the good and funny side of everything. And I tell you, I've probably done more silly stuff that any person in the history of mankind. Not that I wanted to. It just seems to happen. Those memories will never be written. First of all not a soul would believe them and second of all I'd be put away for the rest of my life.

Thank you Kev for talking to me, thank you Bob for e-mailing me I'm looking forward to receiving more pics. Thank you Ger and Justin for being strange. And everyone else. You keep me alive and well. I can't ask for much more than that. Hugs and kisses to you all.

It seems this is the only picture I've got of Kevin and Anita's place. So blot out the people pictured in the foreground and imagine how nice it is to visit them coming from downtown Toronto. I love visiting Bob and Lorraine and they have such a nice corner lot, it's amazing. And Jim and Brenda have the best location in Cranbrook I think. When I'm in Cranbrook that is where I want to be. And of course Ger and Karri have the most extraordinary backyard and location possible in town. I love it and I feel so comfortable there. But that is civilization. .

When I come out there for a week I don't want civilization. I'm in the midst of it every day of my life and Kev's place is there where there is no civilization. In fact I'm not sure there are life forms. I can remember that place and it looked like a hillbilly heaven. Anita has done the most amazing job. And Kev of course with the help of Roy on the house and the boys I'm sure. How many persons like perfection? Not me. I'm sixty-one, hopefully that gives me a little bit of credibility. I feel at home in many places, I'm not that hard to please, but when I walk into Anita's home I feel at home. I notice that too with Bob and Lorraine and Jim and Brenda and Ger and Karri (no one is ever going to accuse me of favouritsm). If someone was going to put a shotgun to my head and ask where would I like to spend the last evening of my life before my brains were splattered across the wall, I might say Kevin and Anita's, although I'd certainly consider other relatives too:

I might not consider Ger though. Can you imagine? "hi Ger" "whom are youm?" "your uncle, remember the only person in the history of mankind who can actually put up with you and who thinks you are cute and kind of funny, I'm living with you for the rest of your life" "what day is this?" "the first day"

And then there Jim of whom I'd have to set some perameters before I moved in: "don't talk about the Navy, or anything actually" "what about my hunting experiences?" "above all not that that" "quad trips?" "nope" "fishing expeditions?" "boring" "climbing the highest mountain with a grizzly after me?" "yawn" "using my expertise in cooking a great meal" "now your talking"

We all know Kev is perfect of course. I presume so: "Kev?" "what?" "far be it for me to criticize you since you've lived here for thirty years or so, but may I ask why you are naked and carrying a shotgun around the house?" "I'm looking for noisy rodunts" "Kev, it's cold out and rodunts don't like the cold and now that you mention it maybe they do, I'll keep a chart and track them from day to day, and if I can find a trend then.....why are you pointing that shotgun at me?"

This is either a mirage or Justin is walking across the Gobi Desert dressed like a guerrilla carrying an Uzi. I couldn't tell you where he might be headed but if he's on his way to pick up a dead duck, it doesn't seem quite worth it to me.

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Not having duck-hunted myself, and knowing Roy, Jim, Ger, and Kev I've always assumed that it involved, more or less, shooting towards the flock of ducks, watching one of them fall from the sky, having a dog retrieve said dead duck and then resuming the party. I know Ger perhaps takes duck hunting a touch more serious than others might but to send his only begotten son off to retrieve a dead duck that fell a mile and a half away, across a bleak Martian landscape seems rather heartless to me.

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"Dad, I have to what?" "go get that dead duck" "why me?" "do you see a Golden Retreiver around?" "no" "guess what?" "I haven't had lunch yet Dad and besides when I get back I won't look like a poster boy from Field and Stream" "Son, sometimes one has to sacrifice for the good of...........whatever" "What are you going to do while I'm trudging across that vast plain on an empty stomach?" "catch a few rays" "catch a few rays?" "and keep an eye out for oncoming flocks of ducks of course"

Ger

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Is it my imagination or does Ger look unhappy in the above pic. Although he is cute when he's angry I know why he's mad. Only I would know this of course: I'm going kill Uncle Don the next time I see him. Why am I wearing these stupid clothes. Am I handsome enough honey? Let's take a break here. A question: whom want's to duck hunt with Ger, raise your hands. Justin raise your hand, your the son. Anyone else? Well Ger it's you and Justin, I'm tremendously surprised that not a soul on this earth and no species within 15 light years away want's to hunt duck with you. I'm shocked.

October 30

So it's Kev's birthday on Monday. He thinks there should be a national holiday in his honour but I explained to him that he's not quite that renowned. He was born in 1960, which brings back memories to me. Coincidentally or not, 1960 was the year that Alfred Hitchcock's film Psycho was released, in my opinion THE scariest movie of all time. And Patsy Cline released 'I Fall to Pieces', one of my favourite songs of all time. John F. Kennedy was elected president, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the dreaded New York Yankees which I remember as if it was yesterday.

And so Kev asked me if I remembered the day he was born. I had to say I didn't. Hello, every time I turned around their was another new arrival. "Mom?" "yes Donnie" "who's having a kid today, Marlene or Anna?" "Anna" "when is Marlene due?" "any day now" "so we've got James and Gerald, I presume they are going to call this one Kevin" "how did you guess?" "instinct, and I bet the next one will be called Julie" "what if it's a boy?" "then it will be Julius" "let's hope and pray it's a girl". "Mom, Kevin will be the youngest son and he will have to put up with two older, rambunctious brothers, will he be able to hold his own?" "I have a feeling he will". I'm afraid to do the arithmetic, I really am. Kevin is going to be forty-six? Where's the noose? Jim and Ger will be fifty in a few years? Where's the rafter to hang the noose from? Sorry, I can't allow that to happen. Bob seems to me to be about forty-two tops.

On Jim's fiftieth birthday in a few years we are going to have to do something special (no, not commit mass suicide). An outdoorsy thing. It will be spring so I'll only need to bring the woollen socks, woollen underwear, woollen scarves, and woollen mittens for you three. Kev can suppy the generator so that the heart defibulator, self-contained breathing apparatus and e.e.g. diagnostics can be administered to you guys on a moments notice. And Ger can supply the flatbed truck that is big enough to hold three wheel chairs, the above-mentioned medical equipment, a M.A.S.H. unit, an ambulance, and six cases of Ex-lax. Since it will be Jim's birthday he won't have to bring anything. And he will forget that it is his birthday anyway.

Scorpios: "one shouldn't take Scorpios lightly....there's no fluff or chatter about Scorpios...the curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable...they have keen sense of intuition...they are in the ultimate control of their destiny..some may find them overbearing and self-destructive but that is the beauty of the Scorpio..fearless, Scorpios rarely lose, they just keep on going...but they are complex and secretive....it's best not to bet against a Scorpio." I couldn't have said it better, have a great birthday Kev.

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And Kristin is going to be a Mommy any day now. I'm awaiting with bated breath receiving pics from Ger on the new arrival. If I was any more more great I'd be a stupendous uncle.

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(editor's note: uncle don thanks Kev for being a good sport and promises he will also pick on Ger and Jim on their next birthday. And anyone else that comes to mind.)

Darwin

I don't like it when Kev acts dumb. It means something is afoot if I come down there at Christmas, or he actually he is dumb. Fifty-fifty. I can do the math. And I know he not dumb. And Jim is capable of coming up with annoying things to do to me if I come down there for a week. And I haven't even mentioned Ger yet. Perhaps I made the mistake of treating them with too much respect and they will try to get back at me and do something silly. I'm thinking of Charles Darwin, imagine it: "hi Jim" "huh?" "do you have any comments on Darwin's "orgins of the species of man?" "huh?" Well let's ask Ger: "what's your take on 'the tendency of species to form varieties?"" "it's a good idea". We'll ask this cute person here, Kev is it? Do you think the "perpetuation of varieties and species" includes you three? "in which species are you talking about?" "you'm" "me'm?" "you three must be a species" "sorry, we came from Roy and Anna and they came from a distant planet in another solar system". "ah, that explains everything".

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(editor's note: uncle don knows he is going to pay for the above. He will try to stay away from Ger when Ger has a welding torch in hand)

;;

Little known facts about Uncle Don:

He can be crabby in the morning. Which makes no sense. Dad was happy in the morn, Mom too, Marlene, Roy and Bob , no prob. I get up 5 am and one would think by the time I arrive at work at 8 am I'd be over it. Not so.

He is a creature of habit during the work week. It must be a tremendous shock to everyone but yes I am. You could add up all the other creatures of habit in the world, multiply that by two, add a million, and you still wouldn't be a creature of habit like me.

He is afraid of doctors. True, but I'm afraid they are going to tell me I'm healthy. I couldn't take it, because I'm know I'm not and they'll think it's all in the mind. And when I kick the bucket in six or seven months they'll say: "oops, I guess I was wrong". Could happen.

He is afraid of flying. As I get older, less and less. Being in a cylinder hurtling through the air has never been my my idea of fun. I've flown in small planes of every type working for HBOG and Dome and they weren't fun either. Especially when the pilot kissed the earth when he landed.

He remembers almost everyone that has been nice to him over the years (excluding family). And that includes a Finnish chick in Majorca, Spain to a person on acid in Rocky Mtn House to someone who drove me across Canada in a VW and took me fishing on his father's boat out of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia and maybe (the most precious of all) being with homeless person's like me and living the experience. My family can debate it all they want, but it was an amazing experience.

He forgets completely who hasn't to nice to him. There has been a thousand but I can't remember one of them.





05. He remembers family.