Friday, February 24, 2006

The Future of the Storm Clan

Apparently there isn't any. I'm kidding of course. Scientists and nutritionists have recently discovered that beer is tremendously healthy and can prolong life (and make it lot easier to cope with). Thus there could be many Storms who live to be a ripe old age in the next millenium. Ornery and ugly, and ripe.

Editor's note: Please send any angry letters to D. Storm, Box 100, Novosobrusk, Russia.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

From the Storm Archives

This is a picture of either Colin or Justin. The reason for the uncertainty is that neither Anita or Bonnie or anyone within a hundred miles wanted to take credit for borning this ahem, beautiful child.

As it turned out, it didn't really matter, they both turned out to be useless. But in fairness they have contributed to mankind in a positive way: they make the rest of us look good.

Editors note: Actually Colin and Justin turned out better than could ever be expected considering they had Kevin and Gerald to look up to. It's the old theory of relativity again. If one is related to Kevin or Ger, things can only get better.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Don's Lament

The clouds are a coming
The winds are arising
The endless highway is ahead
And I've lost all my tread
Only 174 kilometers to go to reach a phone
I must phone God and pick a bone
Why did You allow me go on alone
When I could have stayed home and done the atone
If I survive this I promise I will always be good
And never be crabby and sit there and brood
I'll love everyone and think they are smart
Although there will be a few I'll worry about
I'm hungry and thirsty and tired too
Gawd help me I'm stupid and where is the loo?

A Family in Crisis

This is a picture of the survivors of the 'great snowstorm of '93'. It was taken in Kevin's basement just after it was discovered that help wasn't on the way. Some members of the family received second degree burns when they had a toot and brushed against the furnace, several others were maimed when Colin (the cute little boy in the front row standing in front of Kevin) threw darts at them, and quite a few became ill when Tyler (the adorable baby sitting on Anita's lap) threw up on them. Max finally saved the day by getting underfoot causing Kevin to scream so loud that rescuers were able to locate the house using hearing-ear dogs (they didn't have seeing-eye dogs back then).

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Cuteness personified

I took this off of Bob's website:


Friday, February 03, 2006

Reflections on nature

Nature. Each and every member of Roy's family has their own feelings about nature. In his prime Jim challenged nature and became a local legend in his own mind. Ger, on the other hand, doesn't need adventure, he loves water, fish, sand and sun. Consequently most people think he is weird. And Julie. Did we define nature? Does it have to be outdoors? I may or may not have seen Julie watering a plant once. And then there is Kevin. Kevin is one with nature, as long as he is the only one. I took this picture when I was scouting sites for my ashes to be scattered. It's in New Zealand but whoever is delegated to scatter them must adhere to certain principles when he/she is standing on top of the rock bluff with the urn in hand: be sombre, my ashes will be crabby; have a beer in hand even if you don't like beer, my ashes will thank you; don't stumble or my ashes will kill every bone in your bod; and finally burn the letter from The New Yorker telling me my article is finally accepted.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Jim's moving day

As you read this, Jim, Brenda and Britney will have moved into the new home. The insurance money was tremendously helpful except it didn't cover moving expenses. Rather than rent a truck to move they borrowed this one from Uncle Zeke, the taxidermist. Everything worked out well, except the truck kept backfiring inside the city limits and he recieved four tickets for noise pollution.