Sunday, December 31, 2006

As another year is closing, may this blog thank a few persons: Ger, his pics were unreal; Bob, he sent pics that touched me; Robin, wow; Neil, wow. Julie, wow. Thank you, you made my year and I appreciate you guys taking the time. And I got to write which I needed to do.

This is probably a unique blog, it's one that is based on family and letting an uncle write to his hearts content. A win-win situation if there ever was one.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

I did not want to bring this up. But I must. This was at the time that Jim was working with Ken and Glen. And me and him skiied all the time. This little cute person moved up to Calgary. I chose that day to somehow ski without fear: "whom is that?" "your uncle" "He's rockin'" Me and Jim and Kev sat in the apres ski bar and while they played pool I basked in the feeling of contentment.

That is one day everything came together. To me, I only had it once, you get the knees and mind in sync and It's an amazing thing. I get that on my bike all the time. That is why I bike. One is on the edge and you bike along and the wind and everything is with you. Skiing is so good that way, and so is biking, at least for me. And especially in Toronto. Biking along the lakeshore is unreal. It's flat and the bike path is perfect. I grumble that Toronto doesn't do enough for cyclists but it's pretty good.

uncle don's first ski trip

Of course I could talk about my first 'ski' trip: "Marlene and Leo and Anna and Roy and assorted children, I'm so pleased to have you staying in Calgary with me but I'm not going skiing, Gail quit hanging on my leg". "we love you uncle don" "when do we leave?".

I should never have fallen for those words but I did, thank goodness, although not that day. May I add that I had never donned a pair of skis in my life while my dearest rest of the family (drotf) had several trillion times: 'uncle don this is going to be fun, don't be angst-ridden, we will look after you'. 'I need to be looked after?'

After waiting in line for skis and boots for two or three hours, oh and poles, I'm ready: 'aahh this isn't bad, my back isn't hurting that bad, and why are those chairs moving?'. "we have to sit on them to get on top of the ski hill" "what's this run called Roy?" "Strawberry" "sounds dangerous" "Leo do you love me?" "of course" "so it's the three of us on that moving chair going up to that great divide?" "yes"

So somehow I managed to get on the chair with Roy and Leo and I felt some comfort in that. In fact we chatted a little while I was trying to get comfortable: 'don, look yonder, look at that person doing the moguls" "moguls?" "bumps, gawd your stupid" "I know" "we are getting off soon so tips up" "my tips have been up since we left" "put them more up" "I can't put them more up, if I put them more up they would be touching my forehead" "By the way Roy and Leo, my life is flashing before my eyes, but I see Gail and Julie and Marlene and Robin up there and they seem happy" "of course" "I've forgotten words to the Lords Prayer" "you'll be okay".

The one great thing about ski lifts that hold three persons is that the person in the middle (moi) can usually survive: "ooh sorry Leo, I'm sorry you fell and the ski pole is imbedded in your innards. Agh Roy, I didn't mean to throw you over that cliff, you will rejoin us soon won't you"

The whole family was completely patient with me for quiet a while. Jim, Robin, Ger, Neil, and Kev stopped by for a moment or two whilst I was thinking I'm dead. Leo and Roy were somewhat less friendly having just recovered there spills. I assumed that Marlene and Anna would spend a few hours with me while I contemplated the beautiful surroundings before I moved a muscle: "we have to join our family don, and we paid for this" That was Anna. From Marlene of course I expected better: 'don, you can move' 'down?' Eventually Marlene even gave up. I was the worst fucking speciman of a skiier that ever hit the slopes. Ever. By a thousand times. Eventually two little cuties by the name of Gail and Julie showed up and got me down the hill. I could have been there until the snow melted. They took charge of me and got me down.

I don't remember anything after that, I was just so pleased to be at the bottom. It worked out well, I didn't die.

I personally think this a great, great pic. I never made it to Red Mountain. Look in the background. That is amazing. This is what life all about. As regards his guitar playing...we will see.

'We had Dad and Carol over and Karens parents and Chris and Donna and their kids. 13 around one table - lots of work, but it was a good visit with everyone. I got a really cool guitar book from Colleens boyfriend so now there's no looking back. Also, my buddy from Nelson is going to give me some help. He's an accomplished player - used to play in a band.
We went skiing over at Red Mountain in Rossland on Friday and Saturday with Colleen and her boyfriend Cody, and Marcel and his girlfriend Kyla. We had a couple of inches of new snow and sunshine all day on Friday, and then about 5 inches of fresh on Saturday and snow all day. Excellent skiing! I'll try to attach a pic.
Have a happy new year.'

I'm slightly starting to get worried. Robin doesn't mind the Canucks (did anyone notice they went from eleventh to first place in one game?). The thing is that his midrift is getting large. I hope that's the sweater and not his rotund bod.

Of course Karen is as cute as ever. I've always noticed she has long arms. With Robin she can only get them half way around his bod.

Even though one can't see them anymore, his dimples are still there. These two are cuties.

If this isn't the cutest family in the history of mankind I don't what is. Wow.
I do hope no one is looking here for a forecast of any sort. I've got a headache. If I had to forecast something I'd say that most of my family will annoy me at some point in 2007. I've got serveral new years resolutions. The first one is I'm okay, however annoying Kevin is, I will not kill him. I will throw him over the deck and drop hot barbecue coals on him but I won't actually slit his throat. Oh yes, I will laugh at Ger's jokes even if it kills me which they may. Let's not talk about Jim. Not while his war wounds are still healing.

Give me a day or two before I give a forecast for 1997. I'm thinking about it. Obviously it won't be good. Roy phoned me and asked me phone him. I have no idea what his phone number might be. Hello, I can't remember what he looks like and I'm going remember his phone number? I don't write things down. Well I do, but I seem to throw them out almost immediately. I pretty well phone Kevin every weekend and I still have to look up his phone number. Please don't put me down, I've already done it a thousand times. I'm beloved by some in Toronto: the homeless, I don't give them money, I spout Proust to them and they usually move on.

So I parked my bike for the season. So my defences are down. So am I good at anything? Greg brought down the greatest meal in the history of mankind. Turkey with all trimmings, I've family there that loves me: thank you Greg, the stuffing and gravy and mashed potatatoes travelled well. Greg lives about three blocks from me and his Mom and Dad in the "far burbs". I think he's got the cutest mom in the history of mankind other than my own. She is Aboriginal and she was born in the same year and month as me. Can older persons be beautiful? Yes. Jean at work is my age too. She has silvery hair and she is beautiful. What is the word: Classy. When I first started at Market Probe I was afraid to approach her because of her 'statleliness" if that makes sense. Now we are so close. And she is just as forgetful as me, if not more so. We could be twins.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Next Friday morning I will do the 2007 forecast. 2007? I've got to kill myself. I was born in 1945. I'm not doing the math but agh that is a few years ago. Hello. I want to be preserved in amber. Scientists discovered fossils and plant life that formed trillions of years ago preserved in amber. Why not me? It wouldn't be bad thing. I'll actually wear a suit so I'm presentable. "Uncle Don we are not preserving you in amber" "why not?" "because you jumped off a tall building and your remains are spread around the block and your dna is lost" "I like riverbeds, I won't jump, I'll go to a riverbed and slowly rot" "you have to be near a tree" "why?" "because the sap in the tree turns into amber after a billion years" "can we speed it up a bit?" "and then the sap in the tree has to engulf your bod which take centuries, if not millenia.

I'm a weirdo, I guess you all know that by now. Take care everyone. Life isn't bad at all.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Dad's retirement from the sawmill and a picture at Christmas. These pictures would bring a tear to my eye. I miss him.

This is an amazing picture. I took this one I think (obviously). Down at the farm. One can sure tell Dawn is Bob's daughter in this picture.


Pretty classy looking guy to me. Of course I'm slightly biased. I don't think the world will ever see me and Bob putting Dad down. He had his faults of course. He might have been slightly cheap. We had to share tv dinners. And we may have had the worst lunch in the world when we went to school (toast with peanut butter). And we won't talk about his snuff. And he read the paper from front to back but yet he never talked about current events. He loved being in a car and watching the scenery go by.
And mom who was totally different. And they had a child every four or five years or so. Me and Bob could have had the strangest upbringing in the history of mankind. When we were down at the 'farm' we had to walk miles just to get to the nearest school bus stop. We must have loved Mom dearly. And it was tough on me because sometimes I didn't know where Bob was. It was confusing. I worried. Someone had to.
I'm not sure where my angst-ridden self comes from. I might have been adopted. In Pincher Creek it's easy to mix up babies: "Mrs. Storm, we have this child whom is threatening to jump off the hospital roof, would you take him?" "is he cute?" "a little" "is he pink?" "yes" "why is he threatening to jump?" "his pablum wasn't room temperature." "that's a problem?" "he thinks so".


I talked to Bob on the phone last night. I asked him whom the baby was and he said it's got 'Bobby' written on the back of the picture. I imagine it does.

Note the forehead. There may have been cuter children in the world at that time but I can't imagine how that is possible. There was a lineup to spoil him. Marlene and Anna were particularly bad. They didn't mind me either. The mothering instincts of those two were quite evident.

"Anna is pregnant" "I hope to gawd it's a girl" "no, it's Jim" "whom?" "Jim" "Marlene is pregnant" "it's a boy right?" "no, it's Laurie" "she is fairly cute" "fairly?" "amazingly"

We forgave Marlene and Anna until Neil and Kevin were born: "cute aren't they, why are they eyeing me with that evil stare? these two persons may not turn out well. Can we drown them and get on with life?" "they are slightly cute Uncle Don" "I suppose, but note the satanic aura around them, I can dectect me being annoyed at them quite readily, they won't amount to much, in fact they may turn out to be serial killers" "Neil and Kevin?" "it could happen, the good ones are often the bad ones although there are exceptions" "they are pink and cute, how can you tell that they might be serial killers when they are still in diapers?" "I have this anate sense" "of what" "doom"

In this picture, Dad looks like the only normal person. And at least if Bob combed his hair different and took off those glasses he would almost look normal (and be the spitting image of Neil). But the person on the right is beyond help. No wonder stray cats and miscreants didn't mind him. He's not great at coping with five days off, hopefully he'll never be allowed to retire. He broke his coffee percolator on Friday and walked through rain and sleet in the darkness to the nearest Home Hardware to buy a new one. He's cold and wet and thinking: "this is better than being at work" And of course when he gets back from buying a Black and Decker "Brew N'Go" coffee maker he doesn't read the fine print: 'even if you are the stupidest person in the history of mankind, you will remove all stickers and packing material'. He didn't and it was not a tasty first cup of coffee.

Coffee is important to me. I'm not a tea person. Believe it or not I bought some herbal tea. I'm thinking no caffeine, I'll sleep better. I bought the Rosehip and Hibiscus Flowers herbal tea. Not only did I not sleep better I had the bitter taste of herbs in my mouth throughout the night. So I gave that up. I don't know why I periodically think I should improve my lifestyle. This bod of mine is beyond repair but I never give up hope. So I haven't biked for a while now. I can see old age creeping in. Not really. I'm worried that I still feel good. I don't take feeling good for granted, it's a slippery slope between feeling okay and not feeling okay. Feeling okay is better. I pulled a muscle in my back a while back. I'm over it now but it sure gave me empathy towards Bob and Ger: "don you can't sleep in the fetal position for a while" "but I like it" "not only that, you have to sleep on your back" "and whenever you move your screams will wake the neighbourhood". I survived but it was hell. I don't know if anyone cares but my bed is surrounded by books. I have seven or eight books (a conservative estimate) on the go and sixteen or seventeen New Yorker magazine articles in the midst of being read.

I'm weird. I look forward to going to bed. I read a sentence (if I'm lucky) and I fall asleep. I have read a full paragraph but it doesn't happen often. But of course I wake up every two hours so I do have time to read. I used to fret about my sleeping habits but not any more. I've been this way since I was born so why bother. Of course my sleeping habits changed once. I visited Kev and Anita once and they confined me to a camper. I wasn't allowed to sleep in the house itself. Thank gawd I brought my guitar with me, on a bus across Canada, with two earaches. It was a cultural shock and a painful one. But anyway I slept so good and I don't think I got up before noon once. And I got to see Colin and Tyler. I don't mind them. They could be my favourite persons. Everyone is my favourite persons but they aren't bad.

Except Kevin. He is annoying. If I ever move out there, he has got to go. I don't do the 'walk softly around Kevin thing'. Hello. 'Kevin will be home for lunch at any moment, we have to be quiet' Hello. May I expound? First of all he's got the easiest job in the history of mankind. And if he drank too much the night before, too bad. So he's cute. Big deal. When I move out there his life will change drastically: I'm using this couch and your soup isn't ready and I've hogtied Anita so she can't wait on you hand and foot. In fact I may kill you. Is that a prob? "no grilled cheese sandwich?""nope" "no campbells tomato soup" "nope" "no couch to have a nap on?" "nil" And when I was out there a few years ago I contributed to his being spoiled. I made him a ham and cheese sandwich which I took great care to make while Anita was working: 'how is it?' 'not bad' 'it's not great?' 'not bad' 'do you like intense pain because I'm going to stab you".

And Kev knows how to ruin my weekend: so you write only when you have beer in hand? He actually said you are a drunk and you can't write without a beer in hand. Maybe. I don't think so. I just have so much in my mind that has to get out and having a beer helps. And I have such a good time, I don't know how anyone can put me down for that. My physical life is not that great but I think perhaps you could all take a page from my book and it wouldn't be a bad thing. I have the genes of Dad and Mom in me and I think that is greatest thing in the history of mankind. We all do. Not a family member can tell me they don't feel special. We are special.


I remember this picture being taken. Still working, always working. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Down in Goat River Bottom. She had to nap so she could get back to work for the next shift. Although not in the picture, there is a blue 1958 Chevrolet Impala not far away. Me and Bob kind of loved Mom. When one has been loved by Mom, one has been loved by the best. The numero uno. Although Grandma Darling was amazing. And Marlene was unbelievable. The three of them were on a par. Watch them with children. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

Mom was the nicest person in the history of mankind. I wish I could tell you why. Some things are obvious. Honest to gawd it was tough on us. And Bob was the youngest child. To my recollection we never saw Mom that much. She was always working. But she gave me 15 cents every day in the summer to swim. She knew that was my passion. Me and Bob actually fought a lot as brothers do. We survived. I remember when Roy and Anna got married. I wanted to so bad go down for there wedding. It was tough time for me. And Gordie Wilson. And Terry, and Donna Mae. Good people. I presume they are dead by now but they sure made my life better. And Della. I enjoyed going to the Jehovah Witness gatherings. Not for a moment did I think that my soul was being saved and never will. Probably some persons like George Bush and Stephen Harper. This is where me and Bob aren't quite in sync. I don't get religion and I don't want to. Not my cup of tea to say the least. For those whom think it a is cure-all it is good thing. I don't get it but that not so bad. I'm not perfect.


That is Erling Adlebert Darling with the hat. Uncle Bert was pretty good. I do not remember seeing this picture in my life before. That is Marlene. I presume that is me and Bob. That is Nelda standing in front of Marlene. She was wierd, but okay. And as Bob has correctly pointed out, my britches were hitched pretty high. I remember thinking: I'm a nerd, I might as well look like one. I remember that tricycle. This picture of course puts to rest why Bob was spoiled. The cutest kid in the history of mankind. Even then I was thinking: "this is too idyllic, a bolt of lightning should hit us at any moment, where's my bike?, I have a headache, does anyone care?, I'm gonna climb the tallest tree and jump off it"

Uncle Don

I actually like that haircut. Those glasses have got to go.
I just have to say thank you again to Bob for sending me these pictures. Not this picture in particular but the old ones are so good. The picture with Uncle Bert in it is just beyond words. And Mom and Dad. Bob knows what I like.
I never thought the Storm Blog would amount to much. With these pictures for all to see, and with the new arrivals I think it is a good thing.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Christmas forecast

First the good news. If you live in Denver you will have a white Christmas. Well I assume so since they've received two feet of snow. But for Canada, well maybe next year:

Toronto: Sunday will have a high of +4 with a chance of showers and Christmas Day will be sunny with a high of +3. Some golf courses are still open. I of course am thrilled. If I could control the weather I would like a dusting of snow Christmas Eve and a dusting of snow Christmas Day and then adios, see ya next year at this time. There are ski resorts within a few hours drive of Toronto and of course they can't even make snow because it is too warm. I dropped in at a cycle and ski shop last week and overheard a conversation: "my bike needs a tune-up, when can I bring it in?" "April" "April?" "our bike people are gone and our ski people are here now" "their is no snow within a thousand miles" "would you like a wax?" "on my bike?" "no, on your skis" Needless to say this ski/bike shop is not doing a roaring business.

Calgary: I'm not sure if there is snow in Calgary now but I do know on Christmas Day it will be sunny with a high of +6. Which really isn't terribly surprising I guess, it just never happened when I lived there. As far I can remember Calgarians are much more positive about the cold weather than those in Toronto. "hey Bob, nice weather aye, it's only 41 below, maybe a chinook tomorrow, how's your block heater?" "it died Neil, my battery is dead and our cat froze to death when we let it out last night but I'm pleased we have a dry cold".

Cranbrook: We have hope. Although Cranbrookians don't have a hope in hell of seeing snow on Christmas Eve with it being sunny all day with a high of -4, they could see two or three flakes of snow on Christmas Day. It's a strange world indeed. A few years ago Jim, Roy and myself go ice fishing on a gloriously sunny day in the middle of winter. It was cold but Jim had it all figured out and I enjoyed it immensly. I should have remembered that even though it's cold the sun shining off the snow can be deadly. Which it was for me: "Jim don't spend too much on crab and lobster for supper at this SuperStore, I'm starting to feel ill" "ill?" "getting there, the migraine and the shivers and shakes are starting to engulf my body" "any nausea yet Uncle Don?" "only if you count the dry heaves behind the canned goods section".

Creston: Close but no cigar. On Saturday in Creston it says snow and a high of zero. With a high of zero on Sunday with a mix of sun and clouds, there will no little wee flurries coming down in Creston on Christmas Eve. Robin and Karen might care: "yo Robin, quit with the guitar and look at the flakes of snow, they are coming down" "I"m practicing jingle bells Karen, for the kids, they will enjoy it" Which makes Ger an oddity, not because he's flakey, he is just odd: "would you quit with the decorating of the tree for a moment Karri, I need to take a pic of each stage of the progress made and by the way the hot tub has got to go, I'm having a good time aren't you".

And Kevin. If the Storms and Douvilles could control the weather (which I'm very disappointed we can't by the way), we would all want a little snow on Christmas eve and wake up to a glorious sunny Christmas with the sugar plum fairies having done their thing. Except for Kev: "oh gawd, please tell me it didn't snow overnight, okay I'll get up, I have to think about this, I'm still in one piece, all parts of my body are still attached to each other, I did it, Merry Christmas everyone"

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The curmudgeon cadre club

I got this e-mail from a friend. It made my weekend because I always think I'm alone in dissing current culture. I guess I'm not.

'who the #$%# is Lindsay Lohan ? and who the #%$# cares ?
all I know is she's been in A.A. for a year ...., and she's probably ~ 17 ?
am I losing touch with popular culture ? good !
sign me up in your club Don .... "the curmudgeon cadre" ; guess I'm getting old.


How-to book

It sometimes is nice to talk to Kevin. Once or twice in one's lifetime one gets him in a good mood on the phone and he is okay. But he puts up with his uncle: "Kevin you have a deranged uncle" "I know" "he should be put away" "I know" "have you noticed he has suicidel tendencies?" "I know" "and he thinks you are annoying" "I know" "not to mention he doesn't think you are that great, in fact his expectations of you are not that high" "I know" "what is your threshold of pain?" "low" "what are your dreams?" "high" "when an uncle, whom shall remain nameless, beats you in cards and darts what will you do?" "kill" kill?" "kill" "not maim?" "kill" "can the unnamed uncle protest?" "no" "can he have a last meal?" "yes"

And of course I worry about Ger. I worry about his back. Maybe I shouldn't but I do. By the way, if anyone wants to have the three greatest persons in the history of mankind on their side, I'm writing a how-t0 book. In the remote chance you might run into them (you are walking through a jungle and Kevin/Jim/Ger should appear) this guide is for youm. I'm kind of an expert. Kind of an expert? Hello. This may not sell a lot but I think the world needs a "how-to" book on Kev/Jim/Ger.

But not today, my mind is working though. Take care everyone.

Love you all.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

It's going to be 13 above tomorrow here in the big smoke. Hello. That can't be good. Oh gawd we are going to pay for this good weather in January and/or February. And today it's sunny and six above. I just got back from downtown. There are a few people. I walked by Dundas and Yonge Street and you can't actually walk, it's wall-to-wall persons. I wanted to buy a cd at HMV and it was no use. And of course it's the same in any mall in Calgary and Cranbrook. I can imagine the Overwaitea parking lot in Creston. And there is still a week to go until Christmas.

I don't work next Friday so I will do my 'christmas weather forecast' on Thursday morn. By the way I'm okay. I won't jump. I've never felt better in my life. Normally at this time of the year I'm suicidel but not this year. I've finally mellowed out. I'm sixty-one and I've mellowed out. I'm a slow learner I guess. I love listening to Christmas carols in the mall, especially with kids bawling their heads off in the background. Guess how many harried mothers I saw? 343,542. Guesss how how bawling kids I saw? 343,544. Obviously a couple of mothers dropped their kids off and then drove into Lake Ontario.

How would one like to be a Santa in a department store today? "Santa?" "yes my sweetness" "I"m growing up in a grow-op" "in a whom?" "a grow-op and my Dad knows Osama bin Laden" "whom" "Osama bin Laden and my mother works for M15, the British spy agency" "what would you like for Christmas my..ahem....sweetness?" "A BlackBerry" "I can give you boisenberries" "Santa" "yes my annoying, I mean sweet one" "I need a BlackBerry so I can access my boyfriend" "boyfriend?" "he's in Taiwan at the moment" "how old are you?"

Can anyone remember the exact time they realized the Easter Bunny and/or Santa Claus didn't exist? (don't let any young children read this) I don't either but it must have been traumatic for me. Hello. So I'm happily going along and someone says "no Easter Bunny" "no whom?" "easter bunny, nil, forget it, doesn't exist " "my chocolate rabbit and colourful eggs were there" "you really are naive aren't, no that was not the Easter Bunny whom hid them" This is late March so I've got several months to get over the depression of losing a dear friend. "mom?" when is Santa coming?" "soon dear" "can I get a bike?" "of course, Santa will bring you one" Mom was good, how she hid the gifts from me and Bob I'll never know. We go to bed and we get up and wow. To say we were excited was an understatement of all time. And of course as all parents are, she was completely pleased by our reaction. And Dad was there, that is a long, long time ago.

I remember decorating the tree, and Marlene was there too. After Mom and Marlene did the main decorating, me and Bob got to do the tinsel. It was a tradition. If there is anything I remember from those days is that both Mom and Marlene were completely happy at that time, they knew that me and Bob were going to pleased with the results and they just loved Christmas. Sometimes Mom and Marlene didn't along so well (as mothers and daughters are wont to do) but at Christmas they did.

From Uncle don:

Wow, as one may have noticed I like this family. It could be the cutest one of all time. There could be cuter persons than Gail and Donna in the history of mankind but I can't see it. There could be cuter persons than Neil and Robin, it wouldn't take much. Although I shouldn't say that. Under Neil's cute bod is a person whom likes to ski and loves the outdoors. I am so impressed with him. And Robin. For me, the nicest person in the history of mankind. And Laurie, I have to be on my toes with her, she hopefully will send me pictures and I can't wait to hug Laurie when I see her next.

And Leo. One of my favourite persons. He knows what life is all about and he is a Douville. Even though this is called a Storm blog because it's mine and I see the Storm genes (Marlene) in the picture of Gail, Donna, Robin, Laurie and Neil. But I also see the Douville family. A good combo if I've ever seen one. They've got both the Storms and Douvilles genes in them. I like that.

Friday, December 15, 2006


Until I started to bike to work I didn't really realize that I enjoyed sweets quite as much I do. I became accustomed to eating energy bars at work this summer because I just got so hungry even though I ate fairly big breakfasts. Then I thought who needs energy bars, let's just buy twinkies, what is the difference? Then I thought why not buy a chocolate cake and take a slice to work each day? I became addicted.

Which is fine and dandy when I'm biking to work, but I haven't been for the last week. Yes I've retired the bike for the winter. Even though it's December 15th, I feel kind of guilty not biking to work. But the short days get to me a little bit, and the rear brake on my bike broke and so I said: "Don?" "yes?" "it's time" "for what?" "to use the subway for a few months" "really, just give me another week, I'll go slow, a brake isn't that important, I'll get it fixed soon" "it's time" And so last Friday night I brought the bike inside and parked it in the basement, a dark, dingy basement I might add, for the winter. Not to be melodramatic but it was a sad, long walk up the three flights of stairs to my apt. from the basement while eating a Coffee Crisp chocolate bar (I didn't know coffee could be crisp). Oh, I could take it out occasionally, weather permitting, I suppose but I'm not a part-time cyclist anymore. I've tasted the adreneline rush of flowing with the Toronto traffic every day and biking through a local park on a Saturday or Sunday, although good, is above me: I'm a bike snob now. Well after 18 near-death experiences this summer while biking (not counting the two that only would have maimed me) I figure I can be a snob at something.

Back to the sweets. So I noticed this week even though my energy expended is much lower, my lust for confectionery items is still as is. For a thousand years I never even thought of buying a single dessert item on my weekly trip to the grocery store. Now it's almost half and half: "aah a pork cutlet, a tomato, a head of lettuce, a cucumber, a bulb of garlic (hi Robin), a bagel, and a loaf of 100% whole wheat bread (sometimes I get 60% whole wheat when I'm depressed)" "Uncle Don, I know you get more than that" "but it doesn't read funny, so shuddup" So off to the sweet tooth areas. Some diabolical person has put all my faves all around the store, not in just one aisle. I find them. The bakery: this could be my favourite area: "Don you are salivating and embarrassing me" "you are me" "I'm your good you" "How can you be my good me if you don't like boston cream donuts and honey crullers?"

Moving on to the chocolate bar section: "don, you aren't biking for a few months, you are going to have do some situps or you are going to weigh two hundreds pounds by April, or run on the spot or do deep knee bends while you are flexing your abs" "I have abs?" "if one looks closely I see abs" "what are they" "I'm not sure but you should flex them" "In other words by the time April rolls around I'll be a fat slob" "more or less" "good".

This is what I go through. Hello. Even though I'm angst-ridden from head to toe, I'm fairly in a good 'place' right now. And guess what? I bought a fruit cake. I love fruit cake. Have I mentioned I'm wierd?

Weekend forecast

For Toronto, tomorrow will reach +6 with a chance of showers and Sunday will reach +9 with a chance of showers (I can't believe this mild weather). Calgary looks nice for the Christmas shopping crowds. Saturday will reach -4 and Sunday will get up to -7. There will not be a cloud in the sky for the whole weekend.

Cranbrook will be nice too. Saturday will be Sunny all day and will get up to -1, and Sunday will be sunny with a few clouds and it will get up to -5. A cooling trend, Brenda must be mad at Jim. For Saturday, Creston will reach +2 with sun and clouds and for Sunday, the high will be -1 with a chance of flurries.

For all those whom are travelling to the British Virgin Islands, it will be +26 both days and sunny with the tradewinds coming from the south.

Friday, December 08, 2006

December 08, 2006: the twenty-sixth anniversity of John Lennon's death.

Weekend forecast

For Toronto, Saturday will be cloudy with a high of plus two and on Sunday it will get up to plus seven and it will be sunny. Looking good for Calgary: Saturday will see a high of nothing with a mix of sun and cloud and Sunday will see a high of plux six, also with a mix of sun and cloud.
Moving on to Beautiful B.C., Cranbrook will reach minus four on Saturday and will be cloudy and Sunday there will be periods of snow and reach minus two. Creston will reach nil both Saturday and Sunday with possible showers and/or snow occurring both days. Environment Canada doesn't mention this but I forecast a Storm front, I mean Jim, will be moving into Creston for the weekend.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

The canoe trip in a parallel universe

Of course Germain took this pic, which is why it is fuzzy. That is Lydia Bunwich and Karl Coleman on the far left of the picture. Them of whom bought a new canoe which wanted to keep a distance from the rest of the 'canoeists' (using the term tremendously loosely). Why are they dressed in black in the middle of summer? At least they are wearing shorts. To their immediate left is the twins: Kranky and Dinky Whiteskin of the Semiold tribe. Although their tribal traditions date back thousands of years, Kranky and Dinky were cast out of the tribe because they couldn't stand being out in the sun (not a good thing since the chieftan was Roycoma, The Sun God).

Next to Kranky and Dinky is the noted seer Kassandra Gerulcer. She must be, she saw her life flash before her eyes just before she plopped into the river. Kassandra also enjoys angling, not for fish but for blue eyeglass straps. Kassandra is also the only person I know who can tap dance in a canoe. And then there is Coolhand Bud and his sexy moll Jezabel Babyduck. Great people but have you noticed they have a tendency to tipple when they are in a canoe? Not topple, tipple. Although if they tipple too much they will topple. But they never topple they just tipple, it's Coolhand and Jezabel.

Moving on to Babs Jokester and Jasper Stillwater, Jr., they were the veterans. Of what I have no idea, possibly being boring. Although Babs did her best to fool Dinky. And Jasper, lets just say I wouldn't want to be lost in the middle of Banff with him, the town of Banff, not the park, gawd forbid. A highlight of course was Jeremiah Strawhatson and Shalome Cuteinksy. Jeremiah made a good breakfast although I made sure I wasn't the first one to start eating (Jeremiah's father, Germain would have poisoned me I'm sure) and Shalome was checking us out. Obviously, somehow, incredibly, beyond comprehension, and wow, Jeremiah and Shalome are having a baby. I have a name picked out if anyone is asking: John or Jane Doe.

And last but definitely not the least: Anastasia Goodheart and her son Tecumseh. Kranky Whiteskin married Anastasia Goodheart and so Tecumseh's full name is Tecumseh Whiteskin-Goodheart. Anastasia has royalty in her blood and Kranky also has ROYalty in his blood. And with Coolhand Bud as his brother and Roy The Sun God as his grandfather and Germain and Dinky as his uncles..oh and Jeremiah as his cousin, Tecumseh should be happy.

(Editor's note: Uncle Don would normally delete the above but he'll leave for now)

I really like this picture. Karri in a quiet moment. Of course Ger is irritated beyond belief behind the camera: 'the mountains aren't lit up enough, that's a poor excuse for a fire, my back hurts, did we bring the Tums? It's still a nice pic.

Look at this pic at your peril. If you are blinded by the light coming off Bob's forehead it's not my fault. This picture was taken in England. In a pub I assume. Lorraine captured the essence of Bob.

The famous Balzac Gas Plant (mainly because Bob works there). Look at the sky, I bet it was cold when Bob took this pic.

New pics from Bob - the kids

Yay, I can post pics again (I needed to delete my cache which I found out from reading the Google blog forum). If Theo isn't the cutest kid in the history of mankind I don't know who is. But of course so are Zack and Olivia.

Anyone whom wants to send me the cd U218Singles for Christmas one maym. I'd like that. It's amazing how quickly Kev agreed that I shouldn't come down for Christmas. Did he really need to whoop it up with his hand over the phone? If the Storm Blog even survives December 25th it will be a miracle. I wouldn't think so. It gets a little tougher to be alone at this time of year as I get older. I should be so used to it by now.

This weekend I talked to Ger, Bob and Kev. It was totally my pleasure to do so.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Just when I assumed my family had forsaken me and had forgotten that I ever existed, someone sends me something to post. Just under the wire: I'm on top of this tall building and I'm ready to jump. As I'm about to jump my cell phone rings, "Uncle don?" "what, you've interrupted my flow" 'neil sent you a picture of him amidst the mountains" "Is he cute before I jump?" "he likes to live on the edge a bit" "Okay I'll look at them"

Back to the tall building and ready to go: "uncle don, ger sent you pics". "am I in any of them?" "several" "only several, I'm jumping" "but the main pics are of youm" "meem?" "the good ones" Okay I'll delay jumping for a day or two".
Three days later: 'grumble, sheesh these stairs are getting tough to climb, I'm not getting any younger, grumble, they won't let me take the elevator anymore because of an insurance clause, grumble, I must do an analysis to find out the height/pain/splat ratio, maybe I can find a medium tall building. Although the little cars and little people look inviting': "uncle don?" "what now, I'm not taking calls" "it's Bob" "Bob whom?" "yourm brotherm" "hi don how are you doing?" "I'm okay although my back is acting up and the vertigo is getting to me, what is the viscosity of pavement?" "it doesn't give much, I suggest you land on a hay wagon as it's going by" "I don't see any at the moment" "By the way Don why do you want to jump from a tall building?" "no one loves me, I'm angst-ridden and I'm getting up there in age" "I've got pics for you to see" "How many?" "Enough to last you for at two weeks, if not more" "Thank good gawd, I need to get away from climbing stairs for awhile"
"after our talk i checked the blog out.Good job,as always!!!! As i scrolled the previous journals i read the one with my Grandmother --Grace Storm. It is really easy to forget the most terrific people in this world.I remember her just like it was yesterday-(yes i know it sounds like a cliche ) But she was truly an amazing woman -- the homemade ice cream, and just the overall love that she showed us was unforgettable--i miss her ..She would be proud to see how well her 3 boys have turned out,and that family is and always will be # 1..The fact is Marlene and Grandma were cloned.I miss my Aunt too..
Gotta go ---to emotional----love ya ----your mother loves you too and we know that she still guides us!!"

Thank you Ger,

Me and Bob need the above I think. Mom had a great impact on me and Bob even though she didn't live too long.

Friday, December 01, 2006

The weather today wasn't that bad. For December 1st it was okay. Although I'm the oldest person at Market Probe, there are a few whom aren't that much younger than me. And they are all originally from Saskatchewan or Manitoba and have lived in Toronto for a long time. They like to discuss the weather especially when it's worse out west than here in Toronto: "did you see Winnipeg, 39 below with the wind chill, but it's a dry cold" "Saskatoon was 42 below yesterday which beats your 39 below" "Hah, my aunt in Estevan e-mailed me and mentioned that it was 42 below at 4:30 am"

So even though I don't enjoy the actual job at Market Probe it's a good place to work as far as the people. For example, I've got a Tyler sitting behind me. He's 23, a part-time comedian and he chews snuff 'from his hockey days'. He can be annoying because he wants to try his every new joke out on me. And Amanda sitting to my left. She looks likes she's 30 and she's got three grown kids and she is great to talk to. And Stephen who occupies the cubicle to my right. He's gotta be close to sixty, dresses in black, has the deepest voice I've ever heard and usually wears his hair in a pigtail. I pass my copies of the New Yorker to him after I've read them. And of course Derek, whom maybe, just maybe is about ready to be able to leave Market Probe and make it as an actor or director full-time. And Ben who is in Windsor this weekend at comedy clubs just to get his name out there but who has to work at Market Probe to survive, Canada is a small market. And even at sixty-one I completely identify with them and they know that. But of course I don't have the sense of urgency they have because my time has passed for writing but I can at least be on the same wave length as them

My preference is to be in Creston but I may get annoyed at you all very quickly. Think speed of light: "Robin, you are having your great exalted uncle pick garlic?" "are you talking, get back to work, work is money, you are slow, you don't get it do you, I'm never going to take on old uncles again, their work ethic is good but their production is way down". Clomp, clomp, clomp from the flat's up the highway to Comforts. "hi kevin, how are you, you are cute, Robin fired me". "Robin fired you?" "my quota was down on picking garlic, do you have a job for me?" "what are you good at?" "nuthin" "I'll call ger from the back and we'll assess you, by the way you smell like garlic". "okay here were go, do you weld?" "nope" "can you lift heavy objects?" "nope". Clomp, clomp, clomp to the highway to catch a ride to Jim's. "hi Jimmy, you are amazingly cute, wow, did I tell you that you are not a bad person if you could control your sudden attacks of ego?" "Yes" "is Mr Tire looking to hire?" "we can hire person whom are familiar with tires" "is that the criteria?" "yes" Clomp, clomp, clomp. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

December 01, 2006

A picture to cheer us all up on this first day of December. It's not even officially winter yet! Ack. In Toronto this morning we've got sleet, a howling wind and ice-covered sidewalks. If I somehow manage to walk to my bus stop without breaking my neck it will be a miracle. I hope their are some little old ladies out there to help me walk across the street.
On the bright side, in Calgary and Cranbrook, it's going all the way up to minus eight, and in Creston it's going to be minus three with some sun....get out your shorts and the suntan lotion.