Friday, December 15, 2006

Desserts


Until I started to bike to work I didn't really realize that I enjoyed sweets quite as much I do. I became accustomed to eating energy bars at work this summer because I just got so hungry even though I ate fairly big breakfasts. Then I thought who needs energy bars, let's just buy twinkies, what is the difference? Then I thought why not buy a chocolate cake and take a slice to work each day? I became addicted.

Which is fine and dandy when I'm biking to work, but I haven't been for the last week. Yes I've retired the bike for the winter. Even though it's December 15th, I feel kind of guilty not biking to work. But the short days get to me a little bit, and the rear brake on my bike broke and so I said: "Don?" "yes?" "it's time" "for what?" "to use the subway for a few months" "really, just give me another week, I'll go slow, a brake isn't that important, I'll get it fixed soon" "it's time" And so last Friday night I brought the bike inside and parked it in the basement, a dark, dingy basement I might add, for the winter. Not to be melodramatic but it was a sad, long walk up the three flights of stairs to my apt. from the basement while eating a Coffee Crisp chocolate bar (I didn't know coffee could be crisp). Oh, I could take it out occasionally, weather permitting, I suppose but I'm not a part-time cyclist anymore. I've tasted the adreneline rush of flowing with the Toronto traffic every day and biking through a local park on a Saturday or Sunday, although good, is above me: I'm a bike snob now. Well after 18 near-death experiences this summer while biking (not counting the two that only would have maimed me) I figure I can be a snob at something.

Back to the sweets. So I noticed this week even though my energy expended is much lower, my lust for confectionery items is still as is. For a thousand years I never even thought of buying a single dessert item on my weekly trip to the grocery store. Now it's almost half and half: "aah a pork cutlet, a tomato, a head of lettuce, a cucumber, a bulb of garlic (hi Robin), a bagel, and a loaf of 100% whole wheat bread (sometimes I get 60% whole wheat when I'm depressed)" "Uncle Don, I know you get more than that" "but it doesn't read funny, so shuddup" So off to the sweet tooth areas. Some diabolical person has put all my faves all around the store, not in just one aisle. I find them. The bakery: this could be my favourite area: "Don you are salivating and embarrassing me" "you are me" "I'm your good you" "How can you be my good me if you don't like boston cream donuts and honey crullers?"

Moving on to the chocolate bar section: "don, you aren't biking for a few months, you are going to have do some situps or you are going to weigh two hundreds pounds by April, or run on the spot or do deep knee bends while you are flexing your abs" "I have abs?" "if one looks closely I see abs" "what are they" "I'm not sure but you should flex them" "In other words by the time April rolls around I'll be a fat slob" "more or less" "good".

This is what I go through. Hello. Even though I'm angst-ridden from head to toe, I'm fairly in a good 'place' right now. And guess what? I bought a fruit cake. I love fruit cake. Have I mentioned I'm wierd?

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