Saturday, October 28, 2006

October 30

So it's Kev's birthday on Monday. He thinks there should be a national holiday in his honour but I explained to him that he's not quite that renowned. He was born in 1960, which brings back memories to me. Coincidentally or not, 1960 was the year that Alfred Hitchcock's film Psycho was released, in my opinion THE scariest movie of all time. And Patsy Cline released 'I Fall to Pieces', one of my favourite songs of all time. John F. Kennedy was elected president, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the dreaded New York Yankees which I remember as if it was yesterday.

And so Kev asked me if I remembered the day he was born. I had to say I didn't. Hello, every time I turned around their was another new arrival. "Mom?" "yes Donnie" "who's having a kid today, Marlene or Anna?" "Anna" "when is Marlene due?" "any day now" "so we've got James and Gerald, I presume they are going to call this one Kevin" "how did you guess?" "instinct, and I bet the next one will be called Julie" "what if it's a boy?" "then it will be Julius" "let's hope and pray it's a girl". "Mom, Kevin will be the youngest son and he will have to put up with two older, rambunctious brothers, will he be able to hold his own?" "I have a feeling he will". I'm afraid to do the arithmetic, I really am. Kevin is going to be forty-six? Where's the noose? Jim and Ger will be fifty in a few years? Where's the rafter to hang the noose from? Sorry, I can't allow that to happen. Bob seems to me to be about forty-two tops.

On Jim's fiftieth birthday in a few years we are going to have to do something special (no, not commit mass suicide). An outdoorsy thing. It will be spring so I'll only need to bring the woollen socks, woollen underwear, woollen scarves, and woollen mittens for you three. Kev can suppy the generator so that the heart defibulator, self-contained breathing apparatus and e.e.g. diagnostics can be administered to you guys on a moments notice. And Ger can supply the flatbed truck that is big enough to hold three wheel chairs, the above-mentioned medical equipment, a M.A.S.H. unit, an ambulance, and six cases of Ex-lax. Since it will be Jim's birthday he won't have to bring anything. And he will forget that it is his birthday anyway.

Scorpios: "one shouldn't take Scorpios lightly....there's no fluff or chatter about Scorpios...the curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable...they have keen sense of intuition...they are in the ultimate control of their destiny..some may find them overbearing and self-destructive but that is the beauty of the Scorpio..fearless, Scorpios rarely lose, they just keep on going...but they are complex and's best not to bet against a Scorpio." I couldn't have said it better, have a great birthday Kev.
And Kristin is going to be a Mommy any day now. I'm awaiting with bated breath receiving pics from Ger on the new arrival. If I was any more more great I'd be a stupendous uncle.
(editor's note: uncle don thanks Kev for being a good sport and promises he will also pick on Ger and Jim on their next birthday. And anyone else that comes to mind.)


I don't like it when Kev acts dumb. It means something is afoot if I come down there at Christmas, or he actually he is dumb. Fifty-fifty. I can do the math. And I know he not dumb. And Jim is capable of coming up with annoying things to do to me if I come down there for a week. And I haven't even mentioned Ger yet. Perhaps I made the mistake of treating them with too much respect and they will try to get back at me and do something silly. I'm thinking of Charles Darwin, imagine it: "hi Jim" "huh?" "do you have any comments on Darwin's "orgins of the species of man?" "huh?" Well let's ask Ger: "what's your take on 'the tendency of species to form varieties?"" "it's a good idea". We'll ask this cute person here, Kev is it? Do you think the "perpetuation of varieties and species" includes you three? "in which species are you talking about?" "you'm" "me'm?" "you three must be a species" "sorry, we came from Roy and Anna and they came from a distant planet in another solar system". "ah, that explains everything".
(editor's note: uncle don knows he is going to pay for the above. He will try to stay away from Ger when Ger has a welding torch in hand)