Saturday, March 31, 2007
What can I say? I respect no one more on this planet than Jim. And fifty isn't that old really. Jim's only eight in dog years, three in cat years, and two hours old in gerbil years.
And he'd better be in his fifties for twenty or thirty years because when he turns sixty I'm outta here. I will just barely be able to withstand my eight other nieces and nephews turning fifty after Jim in the years to come: "Gail's turning fifty." "whom?" "Gail" "Gail Whom?" "Gail Douvillm" "could you excuse me for a moment?" "certainly, where are you going?" "I'm going to bike to New South Wales, Australia and back, don't wait up".
"Everything's relative, Uncle Don" "I know, Jim's relatively old which means I'm relatively ancient, and there is no relatively about it, one is either ancient or one is not". "Should we not celebrate Jim's 50th birthday Uncle Don, he's alive and doing amazingly well, health-wise". "he hides his pain well and on April 3rd his pancreas will give out along with a few other internal organs" "how can you tell?" "because it almost happened to me" "what prevented it?" "pure, unadulterated luck".
"Uncle Don, as Jimmy looks back on his first fifty years what should he be proud of?" "surviving". "surviving?" "no further words need be spoke". "what does jim have to look forward to in his next fifty years, uncle don?" "really good times I hope, I think for all of us it has been somewhat of a dark period losing Marlene and now maybe Roy, of course overlayed by the ups and downs of getting on with life and enjoying family and friends and work, but for Jim it's been particularly tough with the fire and having to live at either Brenda's moms and a little while at a hotel for so long, it must have been a nightmare" "he survived that pretty good didn't he uncle don?" "he did, and now Roy"
"uncle don?" "yes" "take a deep breath and don't worry about family anymore, they will survive without you, what's with you anyway, get a life". "but..." "they know you love them by now" "..but" "bye"
Friday, March 30, 2007
"ger?" "what uncle don?" "we are gentle and delicate" "whom?" "us" "and we have a deep sense of humanity" "we have?" "yes, and we are humane" "to whom?" "I don't know, I'd like to shoot something" "I'll aim and you can pull the trigger"
I happened to check out a few 'experts' on the subject and noticed that there is absolutely no grounds in thinking that astrology has any foundation in modern scientific knowledge.
Example 2: "Ariens are great organisers, full of flair and originality, although usually lacking discipline and the capacity for prolonged effort (minions must be found to do the slog work!)."
Rebuke: I don't know about organizing, but Donna, Jim, Bob, and Robin certainly lacked discipline: maybe they grew into it but they didn't when they were little. I can't talk about Colleen and Tyler of course but as a minion, I do think Bob, Donna, Jim and Robin could have been nicer to me as they were organizing their flair for originality. Colleen and Tyler are just innocent bystanders. Maybe not Tyler, Ill kill him one of these days. I'm thinking of using his body as a launch pad for the next lunar mission. And after it's been fried, I'm going to scatter his ashes on my chrysanthemums.
And then I checked out the compatibility between Virgos and Aries: "Virgo, the Virgin, and Aries, the Ram make a rather odd couple". Hello. "Impulsive Aries makes split-second decisions and acts on them instantly, while you are inclined to agonize over details until the opportune moment has long passed."
Now I'm angst-ridden. My moment has passed. A long time ago apparently. Who brought up this stupid astrology stuff?
Yay hah, I hope Donna had a nice birthday and I hope Robin, Jim, Bob, Tyler, and Colleen will have a nice birthday.
Oh face it you're old.
Have a great one!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
"Neil was hiking around in the wilderness while I was up in Burns Lake with Marcel at the hockey provincials. Our team placed second and got silver medals. We beat Vanderhoof last year, but they were a determined team this year and beat us 4-0 in the final. We were plannin to drive home thru Jasper, but they closed the road for avalanche control and we had to drive home thru ALberta. We went thru one of your old haunts - Rocky Mountain House. You can almost smell the oil money oozing out of the ground there. Really busy with rig trucks, platforms, etc. 14-1/2 hour drive from McBride thru Jasper, Hinton, Edson, Rocky, Caroline, Cochrane, Canmore, Banff, Radium, Fairmont, Cranbrook and Creston."
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
"But what brand do you buy most often?" "are you asking about holistic or natural?" "I'm asking about cat food". "boxed, tinned or bagged?" "tinned" "I don't normally buy canned cat food except if Fritz is in his take-out mood" "whom?" "Fritz" "I mean what brand?" "you'd have to ask Cleo" "whom?" Cleo" "whom and/or what is Cleo?" "the parakeet (oncoming headache)" "how would Cleo know what brand of cat food Fritz ate?" "because Cleo watches Theo spoon the cat food into the cat food dish" "whom?" "Theo" "is Theo your budgie?" "don't be so silly, she's my meditation instructor" "as in zen?" "no, zen is the name of my turkish angora" "where was I?" "you were asking me about cat food young man, do you have a cat?" "no, I have a migraine" "I only feed my cats certain brands" "(ears perk up) aha, and what brands would those be?" "I import them from the middle east"
"Mrs Hildebrandt could you look at a can and tell me if it's in the Armenian, Kurdish or the Hebrew language, I can finish the survey in those languages" "Coptic" "Coptic?" "Coptic, it's got a picture of a pharaonic temple on it" "Mrs Hildebrandt, that's your priceless art, look for a picture of a cat" "aha here it is, IAMNOT" "whom?" "IAMNOT" "if I said IAMS would that set off bells and whistles?"
"No but IAMNOT is what I feed chu chu" "whom?" "chu chu" "Yayhah, so on a scale where one means yucccchhh and 10 means purrrrrr, how would chu chu rate the texture of the Primo Select IAMNOT cat food?" "actually I've been eating Primo Select lately" "whom?" "meam" "what about chu chu, she's probably starving" "my cook does the Porterhouse pretty good, I don't think chu chu is going to starve". "(sigh) Okay Mrs. Hildebrandt how would you rate IAMNOT Primo Select on taste" "two" "whom?" "two" "may I ask a question mrs hildebrandt?" "certainly" "you are passing up a porterhouse steak for IAMNOT Primo Select cat food and you are giving it a rating of two?" "can I say one?" "how about the texture mrs Hildebrandt, what number?" "ten" "aroma?" "ten" "palette?" "ten" "color?" "ten" "taste?" "one".
Mrs. hildebrandt, if I threatened to hang you from a rafter, upside down, and pour phosphoric acid through your vericose veins would I be able talk you into a "five' for taste, I only get paid if I get at least a five" "two" "hydroflouric acid?" "three" "hexacosanoic acid?" "four" "a double bacon cheeseburger with fries?" "ten"
"Thank you Mrs. Hildebrandt, it's now five o'clock but I wish to thank you for your time, IAMNOT thanks you for your time, by the way we've never interviewed a cat so we will send you our free booklet: Why would you not eat cat food, they like it"
Friday, March 23, 2007
"Uncle don?" "yes twin brother, uncle funk?" "you forgot to mention the near-collision at Bay and Bloor" "I was dragged for only half a block before someone noticed, not really serious" "by the way uncle don, there is conspiracy going on" "a whom?" "a conspiracy" "by whom?" "Anita" "Anita?" "how many pristine pairs of socks did you take with you to Calgary/Cranbrook/ Creston in January?" "eight or nine" "how many did you come back with?" "I came back with six lousy pairs of socks and every one of them had holes in them, and I don't wear woollen, black and or any sock that has an emblem on them" "Kev can't afford socks?" "apparently not" "and another thing Uncle Funk, I have a grey pullover that I absolutely love wearing and it's at Kevin's, I'm not unpacking when I get anywhere near Anita anymore". "she's cute uncle don" "I know but she has a crazed sense of proprietorship, she thinks everything nice belongs to Kevin" "It could be a conspiracy, or maybe not"
"Uncle don, I note you are musing about mountains, especially after seeing Neil pics and they are only geological formations that have arisen over trillions of years" "are you talking?" "and what is the big deal, they consist of rock and trees and quite often they have snow on them, you like them don't you?" "yes, long before quads and skiiing, I looked around me in awe. Even biking down to Porthill to get candy with Ron Potts and John Oleshko I always looked around" "how do you remember their names?" "
I love all the pictures I get sent, more than life itself. But no one should be surprised that I enjoy seeing Neil's pics quite a lot. "no pain, no gain" On the other hand I'd love to spend time in Mexico and Hawaii and on a cruise. I just want to get through the next five minutes. Yay.
The old man taking it easy in the Stanley Mitchell Hut. Neil looks 'quainter' than the furniture. The stove behind Neil looks awfully comforting after a long trek.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
WATER = Poop
BEER = Health
Therefore: Is it not better to drink beer and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap?
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Can I say one thing. I've got Jim, Ger and Bob keeping me posted as regards Roy. I could not have survived without them. Thank you so much, it is so appreciated. I owe them and I won't forget it.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
And I have a new bike in apartment. I steal glances at it every so often. It's a $99 special at Canadian Tire but it is new. And the other bike is at the bike shop and Evan at the bike shop mentioned I shouldn't ride it because the frame is broken, but I rode it all last summer like that and it is a great bike. Now I have two bikes which is what I need.
As one might expect, I'm starting to waiver as regards moving to Creston this year. I have to have disability money coming in and that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I haven't even gone to a Doctor yet. I may be worthy but I hate to think of that path. And I know you are all cute but you'd get tired of me in an instant: "uncle don, why are you annoying?" "I"m just out on the deck reading the New Yorker" "don't you have place to go?" "not really" It won't work, I can tell.
Of course I'm a little pleased that ger and kev stayed at Bob's last weekend. In spite of the fact that Bob was passed out in his chair at 3am and Ger couldn't awaken him and Kev locked himself into a Foothills Hospital staff bathroom because he felt woozy and he needed time to himself and the nurses were pounding on the door. I think we have a good family, I hate to say "I told you so" but I knew this a long, long time ago. And Brandy going up to Calgary, and Julie being there for Roy. I look from afar and see good things. Roy would be pleased and he may not have realized how loved he is. Not bad aye?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Although I came close. My neighbour has a Bich-Poo, which is a cross between a Bichon Frise and a Poodle. Cutest little thing in the world but it gnawed on my running shoe while we talked. And it wouldn't let go: "Doug?" "yes don?" "Munchkin seems to like my foot" "yes, it seems to be attracted to running shoes that are made in China, but it's cute isn't it" "how much did you pay for Munchkin?" "triple figures" "more than $99?" "much more, it really has taken a liking to you, Cynthia and I are going to the South of France in a couple of weeks would you like to look after Munchkin while we are gone?" "I'd love to, it would be an honour but I'm going to be admitting myself into the hospital and have a mini gastric bypass and I'm expecting post-nasal drip complications" "who's your physician?" "um, ah, oh Dr. Bloemfontein" "THE Dr. Bloemfontein?" "That's him, yes, it is him, you know of him?" "yes of course, he performed lipo-surgery on Cynthia"
So after I got rid of Munchkin and Doug, I walked down to the Sip and Bite for breakfast (which is near my bike shop, I had to see if my bike was being taken care of properly). The Sip and Bite is owned by two bossy Japanese sisters: Misaki and Mizuki. "Ah Mr. Storm you return for breakfast, where have you been?" "I've been busy, this and that, life marches on" "you will have our special, the Klondike Sunday Brunch?" "I think I'll have something different this time, I feel like pancakes today" "whom?" "I'll have pancakes" "Mizuki doesn't do pancakes" "a cheese omelette?" "we don't have cheese or eggs" "toast with peanut butter?" "you are having Yakisuba Noodles whether you like it or not" "can I get marmalade with it?" "no".
And then after leaving the Sip and Bite, I sat down on the bench outside my barbers to have a cigarette and soak up the sun: "Meester Storm, you don't like Luigi and me?" "I love you and Luigi, Pedro, I'll be in for a haircut next week, but please don't bring up the space/time continuum theory as a topic of discussion, it gets boring after a while" "can we talk about the fundamentals of phycological theories?" "perhaps but Luigi is rather set in his ways about giving me a bad haircut" "he's enrolled in a night-school for barbers"
It's warm here today (-2) relatively speaking. And not a cloud in the sky.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Take care everyone else.
I'm not going to be moving down there anytime soon If I have to put up with that. I talked to Logan and Ty and that was fun, but I don't do Kevin. I don't have enough energy left to tell him that he erred.
By the way, I'm moving up to Churchill, Manitoba this summer. "where?" "Churchill" "why?" "I'm as one with polar bears" "the ice is disappearing" "I know I gotta see them soon" "when you grow up what are you going to do?" "be a star explorer" "whom?" "buddy, I mean conciousness, I've read nothing but sci-fi for the last five to seven years, I must have read a thousand books of that genre and not one of them could convince me that there isn't something after death" "why do you think that when your analytical mind knows that is not true?" "I could have not gone out west just before Marlene passed away and I so easily could have not travelled out west in January and hugged Roy" "a coincidence" "perhaps but I don't think so"
And if I may say, Francis Collins, the head of the Human Genome Project, was quoted as saying "the genetic code is the language of God" I think so, that does not mean I believe in the scriptures, I don't, but I believe in "something". I've read every article in the New Yorker and many books on comas. And I don't know. But I did play my guitar once with Max in a trailer at Kevins. His tail was wagging and I had my voice: two individuals whom had the greatest time in the history of mankind for a little while.
Friday, March 09, 2007
This is a reminder to everyone in the known universe that this Sunday morning at 2am we should move our clocks ahead by one hour (as if I'm going to be up at 2am). Except if you live in Creston. I presume the people whom decide these things realized it wouldn't work in Creston. For example, can one imagine Kevin having to get up an hour earlier all of a sudden. The grumbling and teeth gnashing that would ensue. I wouldn't want to be around him for about a month after the change.
It looks like we are going to have weather this weekend. It's -6 here in Toronto this morning so I'll only have to wear two layers of clothing to work and not six like I've had to for the past several months (it seems like an eternity). And it's actually getting up to +2 today, with highs of +6 on Saturday and Sunday. There will be celebrations on the street. This is beyond even me: In Calgary, tomorrow will +13 and sunny, Sunday will be +14 and sunny and on Monday it's getting up to +16 with nothing but sun. Well there is obviously going to be a drought on the prairies this summer. Hello. And Cranbrook is getting up to +11 over the weekend with some cloud. And Creston will have a high of +10 on Sunday but at least they can expect a shower or two. Has the Moyie River ever flooded in March? It probably will this year.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
As I reflect on the past week, I can only say agh. It was not a good one and it was obviously worse for Jim, Ger, Kev and Julie and it continues.
But if there was one bright side of the week for me was that I felt 'in the loop' even though I'm so far away. Bob was especially good at keeping me up-to-date on Roy's condition and the e-mails from Ger, Julie and Jim were appreciated so much. The one from Julie especially from the I.C.U. waiting room was especially appreciated.
Can I talk about our weather down here for a moment? We got off work early yesterday because of the weather. But I'd planned to go to our local library because I had nothing to read (other than six partially read New Yorker magazines and a few books that are also partially read but weren't turning me on much). And so I still went to the library and it was open! Manna from heaven as I didn't expect it. There was one librarian assistant still on duty and one old guy whom was probably the librarian assistant's father waiting to take her home, since they both glared at me. So I quickly picked out a few books and checked them out and prepared for the seven-block walk home. This library is located next to a huge complex of apartment buildings but I didn't see anyone walking around on the streets. "oh oh" I thought.
So I set out for home and was immediately buffeted by hurricane-force winds. And that is when I was walking with the wind. Then I had to turn against it and walk four loooong walks to get home. I actually heard two persons talking for a bit walking behind me, but I'm sure they were swept away by the wind; gawd knows where they ended up. It's the first time in my life that snow flakes actually hurt when they hit my eyeballs. And I still had a few blocks to go. "Okay, Don, there is no one around, walk backwards for a while into the wind" Obviously that didn't work since I can hardly walk forwards on good days. And the brief time I tried it, I almost walked into my next door neighbour walking her Bluetick Coonhound (rich persons and their 'dogs' don't seem to be affected by whiteouts and blizzard conditions).
But I managed to reach my gate and saw a white house in front of me: "home!" "warmth!" Except the gate was frozen shut because by then the freezing rain had started and there was two inches of ice around the catch. In despair I knocked on someone's door and they unthawed me and offered me a cognac which I drank greedily. Needless to say I went to work hungover this morn.
I might exaggerate a bit but not much.
If I needed a lift in spirits (which I did), Laurie certainly provided it. It was tough to choose only three pictures of the ones I perused, but I chose these ones. I will post more in the future.
I have never been to Hawaii but I can see it is amazing, and with the massive storm that swept through Toronto in the last few days it even looks more beautiful.
"they had to have emergency operation yesterday as they found a blood clot, as well his swelling started up again bad, so they rushed him in. He got out of operation about 7:30 pm, seems to be stable now, again back into waiting game"
And after receiving the above e-mail, I talked to Bob and he said Roy opened his eyes a bit and squeezed Julie's hand. So there may be reason for a bit of optimism.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
"Dad went in for surgery about 3 pm today to remove a blood clot in the front part of his brain, which in turn will hopefully relieve some of the pressure. The sooner they can bring the swelling down, the sooner they can bring him out of the coma, and there will be less chance of developing pneumonia and other complications , because at the moment the machines are breathing for him, and so he's unable to clear his lungs completely. Of course there can be complications from surgery as well (such as infection), and there's no way of knowing just what the outcome will be. All we can do is hope and pray for the best, and I'll be letting my brothers know how the surgery went as soon as I talk to the Neurosurgeon (whom is apparently world-renowned)."
I talked to Bob later last night and the surgery is over of course and it is now 'wait-and-see'. Bob is going to visit him today at noon, so will know more later today from either Julie and/or Bob.