Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
And so Kev asked me if I remembered the day he was born. I had to say I didn't. Hello, every time I turned around their was another new arrival. "Mom?" "yes Donnie" "who's having a kid today, Marlene or Anna?" "Anna" "when is Marlene due?" "any day now" "so we've got James and Gerald, I presume they are going to call this one Kevin" "how did you guess?" "instinct, and I bet the next one will be called Julie" "what if it's a boy?" "then it will be Julius" "let's hope and pray it's a girl". "Mom, Kevin will be the youngest son and he will have to put up with two older, rambunctious brothers, will he be able to hold his own?" "I have a feeling he will". I'm afraid to do the arithmetic, I really am. Kevin is going to be forty-six? Where's the noose? Jim and Ger will be fifty in a few years? Where's the rafter to hang the noose from? Sorry, I can't allow that to happen. Bob seems to me to be about forty-two tops.
On Jim's fiftieth birthday in a few years we are going to have to do something special (no, not commit mass suicide). An outdoorsy thing. It will be spring so I'll only need to bring the woollen socks, woollen underwear, woollen scarves, and woollen mittens for you three. Kev can suppy the generator so that the heart defibulator, self-contained breathing apparatus and e.e.g. diagnostics can be administered to you guys on a moments notice. And Ger can supply the flatbed truck that is big enough to hold three wheel chairs, the above-mentioned medical equipment, a M.A.S.H. unit, an ambulance, and six cases of Ex-lax. Since it will be Jim's birthday he won't have to bring anything. And he will forget that it is his birthday anyway.
Scorpios: "one shouldn't take Scorpios lightly....there's no fluff or chatter about Scorpios...the curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable...they have keen sense of intuition...they are in the ultimate control of their destiny..some may find them overbearing and self-destructive but that is the beauty of the Scorpio..fearless, Scorpios rarely lose, they just keep on going...but they are complex and secretive....it's best not to bet against a Scorpio." I couldn't have said it better, have a great birthday Kev.
Friday, October 27, 2006
He can be crabby in the morning. Which makes no sense. Dad was happy in the morn, Mom too, Marlene, Roy and Bob , no prob. I get up 5 am and one would think by the time I arrive at work at 8 am I'd be over it. Not so.
He is a creature of habit during the work week. It must be a tremendous shock to everyone but yes I am. You could add up all the other creatures of habit in the world, multiply that by two, add a million, and you still wouldn't be a creature of habit like me.
He is afraid of doctors. True, but I'm afraid they are going to tell me I'm healthy. I couldn't take it, because I'm know I'm not and they'll think it's all in the mind. And when I kick the bucket in six or seven months they'll say: "oops, I guess I was wrong". Could happen.
He is afraid of flying. As I get older, less and less. Being in a cylinder hurtling through the air has never been my my idea of fun. I've flown in small planes of every type working for HBOG and Dome and they weren't fun either. Especially when the pilot kissed the earth when he landed.
He remembers almost everyone that has been nice to him over the years (excluding family). And that includes a Finnish chick in Majorca, Spain to a person on acid in Rocky Mtn House to someone who drove me across Canada in a VW and took me fishing on his father's boat out of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia and maybe (the most precious of all) being with homeless person's like me and living the experience. My family can debate it all they want, but it was an amazing experience.
He forgets completely who hasn't to nice to him. There has been a thousand but I can't remember one of them.
05. He remembers family.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
And we've been in London for a few days now...saw "Les Mis" at the Queens theatre (awesome), its been playing here for 20 years. Saw Big Ben, the Pallace, the London Eye, etc. We're taking a tour bus around the city today to see anything we missed. Its raining now and then but not too bad. We're in this bed & breakfast which is very nice.
We've taken a few hundred pic's, I'll go through them when we get back and send some to you.
When Bob sends me pics you will see them to. I could be wrong but I think "my" family want's to see them to. I assume that.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
I presume I love the Storm family and I am one of them. We are all too busy, and Kevin thinks he his too (even though we all know isn't) . Anita has completey made me feel comfortable out there.
I couldn't feel comfortable with just anyone. I'm pretty sure Anita couldn't either. I feel comfortable with everyone but it's nice to have someone whom thinks the same as I do. Odd. Persons are probably thinking: What? I think Anita and Kev know I sat out there in the rain and couldn't force myself to go bed.
I presume I'm a fairly smart person. So I'm hoping that Bob will forgive me if I spent time at Kevin's at Christmas. Not that i'm doing it. If it happened. You've got the best family and friends in the history of mankind and so do I: Jim, Ger and Kev.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Ha! Not much chance of that happening.
Justin looks like he just stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalogue. I had the odd idea that there was a touch of deprivation involved in goose hunting. The tent you see there is just to keep the booze hidden from the geese overhead, Ger and Justin actually slept on 20 inch thick foamies in the back of Ger's truck.
"Dad" "yes Justin?" "why do I have pose to for this picture, I wanna shoot some geese?" "be patient my son, I need the perfect light"
Sunday, October 15, 2006
I'm looking out my window and I see my bike locked to the fence and it looks so lonely. The poor thing, it needs me to ride it. But then no writing. Now I'm looking at my guitar. It looks lonely too, it needs strumming, but then no writing. Now I see people walking around outside. They look happy, why wouldn't they be, they are outside. I need a walk, but then no writing. Now I'm looking at Ger's work of art hanging on the wall. The intricacy of it, I'm not writing.
I'm thinking of Robin's garlic crop. He planted 350 lbs. of it yesterday and he's sold most of it already. Sean and Aimee (Gail's two youngest) helped him plant the garlic. I should write an article on garlic. Unfortunately I know nothing about garlic so it would be a short one.
I seem to know a lot about everything that is boring and very little about anything that is interesting. I could write a book about biking in Toronto but everyone would doze off while reading the prologue. I could write a book about Kevin and me canoeing but if you've been in a canoe with him lately you know how boring that would be. I could write a cookbook with Jim on the art of cooking big game properly. Unfortunately he's still trying to find some. I could write about Roy and his naps, but I'd fall asleep.
I almost never get nostalgic, but I do look back with fondness on my first ski trip, to Sunshine Village with family. "Okay Uncle Don you'll be okay, you've got Roy and Leo on either side of you on this triple chair, you won't get hurt". "Okay". I ended up being okay except I sent both Roy and Leo off into a snowbank when we got off the chair. At that point in time it was every man for himself and I guess I needed a lot of elbow room. Gail and Julie were the only ones who had enough patience to get me down the Strawberry run.
The above isn't a pic of my bike although I can see the benefits of having one like it. The uzi would definitely come in handy. Did anyone watch the Loafs and Flames last night? Boy did Mats look good. I did not know that he has scored more OT goals than anyone else. I took the time to e-mail the Edmonton Eskimo front office to give condolences to them for missing the playoffs for the first time in gawd knows how long. I actually remember Hugh Campbell playing football. And I went to Stampede Wrestling. To see Sweet Daddy Siki. I enjoyed it completely. I also remember sitting in The Highlander with Glen Higa, Ken, and Bob Fujino.
But it's impossible for a person to be treated any better than from Jim and Ger on a canoe trip. I try not to think about it, and Justin, and Colin. And everyone. Anita, Karri-women, Brenda. Ty. Jen, Shawna. You will note that Kev's name is missing. He doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve. I have some theories on this:
Uncle Don's Top Ten Theories on Kev:
10. He thinks he should be #1 which isn't going to happen when I'm around.
09. Other than him being able to tally dart scores, I can't see why he exists.
08. He loves to hide under Justin's truck at least once a year.
07. He gets every quip I say and that is not an easy thing to do. One has to be really strange to do that.
06. His renowned reputation of hatred towards cats is unfounded. He loves cats as long as they don't do anything.
05. His kneecaps should be put in a hall of fame. And his legs. Hello.
04. He could be smarter than all of us put together (and so could Ger). I have really intelligent relatives. And Julie. And everyone, amazing really.
03. Well maybe not. I didn't start out this blog way back when using the Beverly Hillbillies as examples for no reason.
02. If he going is going to want to canoe with me, he'd better crank it up. I know we went where others didn't go. That is not even close to being enough.
01. The Storms/Douvilles are special. I think Kev is special among the special. Maybe.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I live in an up-scale neighbourhood so I assumed pickles wouldn't be too important in the scheme of things. In fact I presumed their would one or two pickles, or maybe three, I would have to judge. So I was taken somewhat aback when I walked into the park and saw a sign on the biggest tent which read: The Pickle Palace. Oh oh.
I meekly walked up to someone sitting behind a table and said: "I'm the pickle judge". "whom?" "the pickle judge". "do you have credentials?" "er, no my neighbour asked me to show up at this time and judge the pickles". "what do you know pickles?" "they were once cucumbers and they come in jars?" "ah you are an expert, here's your judge badge, and the mickey of vodka you will need to get through it ". "I don't need a mickey of vodka" "trust me, just trust me you will".
I love a slice of pickle with my grilled cheese sandwich. And perhaps with a hamburger. Booth #1: :Ah, you have pickles, where are they from?" "my balcony" "ah, you haven't travelled a long a way" "let me taste one, mmh, very good" Booth #2: "how are you?" "my pickles are peppered" "peppered?" "your local?" "no I'm from Pitquane" "so you have Pitquane pickled peppers?" "they will knock your socks off" "I"m sure, I'll taste one". Booth #3: "are these pickled peppers? "no, these are peppered pickles". "by the way what is the difference between a pickled pepper and a peppered pickle?" "I have no idea but taste one, you are the judge" (vodka drink #1). Booth #4: "why are these called potent peppered pickles?" "because my pappy pete picked them" "that doesn't explain the potent" "taste them" (hork, cough, cough, vodka drink #2) Booth #5: "ah petite petter pickers" "no these are small peckered pickles, judge, taste one" "ah delicate but yet poignant" "aren't they, they are pickled testicle's of porcupines" (hack, hork, cough, barf, vodka slurp #3) Booth #6: "do you have a pickle, I love pickles, I'd date a pickle" "I have pickles" "these are petite pickles" " "I have a sudden urge to eat, can I eat them all and give you the blue ribbon?" "aren't they good, they are petite pickled penguins pads (Vodka finish it up #4). "who are you?" "Patricia" "do you have a drink Patricia?" "no but I have a pickle" "you win"
I actually got a chuckle out of Kev this morn at 7:30 am (your time). He works Saturday. Poor baby.
For me it's a constant dread of Monday mornings. So almost all the time I don't bother. I've worked more monday's than almost anyone. I'm proud of that. When I do work Monday's this is how look.
Editors note: Uncle Don has got up many Monday's and just couldn't do it. He has the worst job in the history of mankind and on Monday's it just doesn't work.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Hear that lonesome whipper-wind
It's going to make me fly
The whining wind is gearing up
I'm so cold that I could die
I've never seen a wind so strong
When I can only crawl
The sun just went behind the cloud
To hide it's face and cry
Did you ever hear an uncle weep
When the wind begins to rise
That means I've lost the will to live
I'm so cold that I could die
The swiftness of the rising wind
freezes up my ruddy cheeks
As I wonder how long I've got
Before I lay down and die.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
10. "you only live once". I actually used this not that long ago on someone. They felt better for two and a half seconds.
09. "a bird in hand is better than two in the bush". If it's pigeons I'll take two in the bush anytime.
08. "save it for a rainy day". Some persons latch onto that concept. I'm not one of them.
07. "sticks and stones can break my bones.....". Wouldst it be that simple. Words can be a lot more painful.
06. "giving is better than receiving". Well, if I had to choose one, I'd pick receiving.
05. "nothing ventured, nothing gained". Hello. Isn't that fairly obvious to anyone with half a brain.
04. "the early bird get's the worm". Personally, I haven't developed a taste for worms yet so I'll let the early birds have them.
03. "where there is a will there a way". I'd like to kill the person who came up with this saying. One needs a lotta luck and determination and will. None of which I particularly have.
02. "a friend in need is a friend indeed". This makes a little sense.
01. "absence makes the heart grown fonder". Amen
Kevin will hate this but I consider him one of the great persons of all time. Other than morning and lunch and pretty well all the time before and after. The poor baby. Hello: "we have to be quiet during lunch hour because Kev's home and he needs his soup and nap" Hello, the rest of world doesn't need a soup and nap, why does he? Because he is feeding the pigs. He doesn't have any pigs. I know Uncle Don but he has to feed them.
"What else is ascue with Kev neet?" "He likes to get up naked and eat at 3 am" "thus the soup and nap later on in the day?" "yes" "it would be so easy to smother him in his sleep wouldn't it, especially around 12:15"
And Kevin writes down our score before we throw the darts. That annoys me. If one has any sense of rules, do not go to Kevins. Cribbage should not be tinkered with but he does. Although I'm not very good at card games. I think I have a brain but apparently not when it comes card games. But thank God Kevin adapts to my low level of thinking: "yes uncle don you can play that card but try to remember this is darts we are playing". And it is nice to see Ger and Justin together. I'm not sure if anyone appreciates them as much as me. Of course anyone that does 'get' them is loony and crazy and mixed-up and should be put away for 25 years minimum. And should have their head examined.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
This is Kara. Isn't she cute.
I certainly have probs with Neil. He's okay but really he's not that great. I personally wouldn't tell anyone that he is great. I'm not sure Neil is even okay. With a lot of self-improvement Neil could attain okay status. But he's got to work on his mustache. It needs work.
Bob's mustache is not bad, Ger's is plausible. Uncle Don's is just coming into it's own. But the Storm/Douville handbook does say that the youngest male child must have a mustache so it's not really Neil's fault.
So this is the opening salvo (and I kind of wish I was kidding): of course I'll enjoy the family and the party. If anyone wants to go on a whitewater weekend sign me me up.
Not to say I don't enjoy the Moyie, having the family together is good (especially when Kev hides and Justin and Col drive off in a fit and everyone gets annoyed, it's all a rerun to me). And really to put Karri-man and Loretta down. I personally liked what they brought out. I think they get it more than us.
But that's us, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's all perfect to me. Completely. But I remember one time I was taking inventory west of Caroline Alberta at about six in the morning. And I saw a deer just when the sun was arising. I turned the radio off and watched and listened for about an hour.