Tuesday, November 28, 2006

It's only getting up eight above today, 17 above tomorrow and 13 above Thursday.

Woe is me.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

not bad aye, not bad at all

Believe it or not Ger is happier than hell. It's a little hard to tell of course. How would you like to wake up to being Ger in the morn? "ger?" "how many persons are you going to kill today?" "Ger?" "Adolph Hitler and Joseph Stalin are on the phone asking for tips on how to be happy"


And then their is Jim. "jim?" "yes" "why is your cap on backwards?" "are you talking?" "pretty well every Storm person in the history of mankind looks up to you and your not fishing?" "why are you talking?" "in fact people come from far and wide to see you fish" "I wish you would shut up" "so these 125 Japanese tourists are expecting something to happen...as in catching a fish"









I'm not alone

Bob reminded me that Mom passed away forty years ago today. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. If anyone would like to send me memories or pictures of Mom this is where I will post them.

This from Ger on December 01:

"hey there sunshine----after our talk i checked the blog out.Good job,as always!!!! As i scrolled the previous journals i read the one with my Grandmother --Grace Storm. It is really easy to forget the most terrific people in this world.I remember her just like it was yesterday-(yes i know it sounds like a cliche ) But she was truly an amazing woman -- the homemade ice cream, and just the overall love that she showed us was unforgettable--i miss her ..She would be proud to see how well her 3 boys have turned out,and that family is and always will be # 1..The fact is Marlene and Grandma were cloned.I miss my Aunt too..
Gotta go ---to emotional----love ya ----your mother loves you too and we know that she still guides us!!"

Wow, thank you Ger.
Even I have to admit this blog is coming together. I had no idea.

By the way Robin and Karen are going over to Nelson for a RDCK (whatever that stands for, Rapid Ducks on the Creek in the Kootenays?, well you guys know) banquet. He is going to receive a 20-year service recognition award. Clap, clap, clap, clap from the family to our Robin.

And he is learning to play the guitar. I wouldn't sit around any campfires with him in the next six or seven years. I can see Robin doing John Denver.....'country roads, take me home, west virginia'. Make it ten or twelve years before you sit around a campfire with him, and that may be too soon.

Thank you all for sending me stuff, this blog will only be as good as you make it.

News from SFU




Burnaby, B.C. – After a shaky start on Friday night the Simon Fraser University Clan women’s volleyball team came back to defeat the University of Winnipeg Wesmen 3-1 (26-24, 25-22, 20-25, 25-20). The Clan improve to 2-5 on the season while the Wesmen fall to 1-7. In the first game the Wesmen jumped out to an early lead of 10-4, but kills by Gillian Church (North Vancouver, B.C.), Colleen Douville (Creston, B.C.), and Jennifer Northrup (Surrey, B.C.) brought the score to a tie at 11.
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The two teams traded points and the score was tied six times during the course of the game. Finally with both teams tied at 24, the Clan took the game with kills by Krystyna Adams (Richmond, B.C.) and Sarah McNeil (Prince George, B.C.). In second game the Clan stepped onto the floor with greater confidence and better execution. Although the game saw the score tied six times, after the ten-point mark the Clan managed to stay a few steps ahead of the Wesmen to end the game 25-22.
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Douville had six of her match high 13 kills in the second game. In the third game the Clan let the Wesmen get away from them by having six errors on the attack while the Wesmen’s Nicola Dirks got her grove-on in the air with seven of her match high 17 kills coming in this game. SFU came out for the fourth game more aggressive above the net with blocks from McNeil, Northrup and Keri Philip (Qualicum Beach, B.C.), and 14 Clan kills. The Clan were able to dominate the game, staying ahead from the fourth point and finishing the game 25-20. “We were a little nervous in the first set,” admits Clan setter Philip, “But once we got a flow going we were able to stay ahead to pull out the win. Unfortunately we lost our focus in the third set, but we showed poise by coming back with confidence in the fourth. This year our team is playing much more competitively, and we are having more fun, and when we have fun we play well.”
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Douville led SFU with 13 kills, while Philip had 48 set assists. Northrup led the Clan with 22 digs. For Winnipeg, Dirks led the way with 17 kills, while Courtney Desaulniers had 38 set assists. Shanti Plett added 20 digs for the Wesmen.

Hi

I talked to Kev recently and he said: "I read through the blog and you put me down all the time" "true" "why?" "I don't know, probably because you have no idea about life in general and your outlook on life is askew" "mine?" "yours?" "me'm" "you'm, although you aren't all bad, there has to be one crabby person in every family and you've overtaken me in that regard so now I can be nice, pleasant and work on my sparkling personality" "sparkling?" "what's wrong with sparkling?" "I've never thought of you as sparkling" "under this veneer of stoicism there is a sparkle, although I may kill every bone in your bod if you don't shut up"
I could write about politics. I could write about my job. I could write about the Dow Jones Industrial Average. All so very boring to most.

I could also write about Jesse of the NYT who takes me seriously when I sound even more angst-ridden and jewish than he does. It's not a long stretch for me for some reason. We have a lot in common I think and he is one with whom I can identify with in some small way.

I could write about biking which I've done to death, but tonight was special. Biking home on November 24 and watching the sky turn from an azur blue, to dark blue to darkness while weaving in and out of traffic was sort of special for a Torontonian who is used to sleet at this time of year.

I could write about why I am such a soft touch. I'm not really but I must look like one. I'm getting better. It takes me an extraordinary amount of time to figure this out, it seems I was born to take everyone at face value to my chagrin so many times. I have no regrets, my heart was in the right place even though my head wasn't perhaps.

And above all I could write my family. And I do. That is what fun is all about. It is rediculous isn't it? Unfortunately I'm so old, I think Jim is fairly cute, not really. Can you imagine what I might think of Gail: "gail, you are fairly cute" "uncle don, I'm not that good" "in my wizened years you seem to be up there in cuteness, and Donna is right up there too". "uncle don, we can't be cute anymore, we're over thirty". "huh?" "we are over thirty, we can't be cute anymore, those days are past, long gone". "you look cute to me" "Uncle Don, quit with the cute, we've had kids, raised a family, struggled with jobs" "But you are cute, can I say that?" "I guess so"

Friday, November 24, 2006

A weather update


Not to make anyone jealous this Friday morn, but I'm biking to work today and it's going to be sunny with a high of plus eight and tomorrow it is going to be sunny with a high of plus 11. Ahem, Calgary will have a high of minus 14 today with periods of snow tonight; Cranbrook will have a high of plus one, but with a few flurries and going down to a low of minus 15 tonight; and Creston is going all the way up to plus three today with a chance of rain showers or flurries, but on Monday the high is forecast to be minus 14.

All together now: Aaaaaaawwwwwww, poor baby's.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Theophilus Benjamin Storm


Theo is seven months old now.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006



A London pub. Looks pretty quaint and cozy to me.

A famous London landmark. Well, if it isn't, it should be.


Lorraine definitely not standing next to Bob in London.


The bed and breakfast hotel Bob and Lorraine stayed at in London.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

One of the highlights of my life was spending time with Neil and Kev in Calgary. I didn't mind it. It wasn't a bad thing. Hello. They treated me good. Those two are kind of special in my mind. All of my family is of course, but they were funnee.

I've gone through some pictures that I have been sent over the years. From Bob, Anna, Marlene, Aunt Gladys, Ger; some good ones. some really good ones. I will get them scanned and post them.

I was going to say life is good. Hello. I hate it when I think that. I'm in pain. Not at this particular moment but I will be soon I'm sure. I feel something coming on: the flu, a migraine and/or various tropical diseases even though I haven't been to the tropics. They find me. Why did I bring that up, now I have a headache. My back is recovering (thank you Bob for asking) and did I mention I have no circulation in my upper and lower limbs? Why is it that I feel not bad now but 99999999.99% of the time I don't feel that great. Don't be surprised at any time to receive a phone call from Toronto: "Your uncle is on the verge of dying and he may not pull through" "should we rush down there?" "I wouldn't rush, take your time" "will he survive?" "it depends" "on what?" "he doesn't think you love him enough and he might jump from a tall building or hang himself from a rafter" "how is his pulse?" "It's flickering, it comes and goes". "should we worry about uncle don?" "he's not going to keel over in the next six minutes, but eventually you will have to spread his ashes over his favourite bike path"

"How long has he got" "it depends really, if everyone cooks him good food and slowly, ever so slowly nurses him back to health over an extended period of time (don't forget the coddling), he can have amazing recuperative powers".

Friday, November 17, 2006


I love these pics. This is a Storm Clan member (not mentioning any names) whom is, if not already the Great Grand Poobah Upcoming Soon To Be, is getting there, his gaze into oblivion is the best I've seen yet. And he's in London. He may have a leg up on the rest of us grand poobahs.
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We are amateurs: Jim gazes into space from a boat, Ger does it from a duck blind, Kev does it from a round table, I do it when I'm sitting on the can but Bob travels to London. Bob obviously took notes from The Great Grand Poobah Of All Time (Roy) whom only gazes into space when he is smoking a pipe and looking out the window as his homestead is moving down the highway at 65 kliks an hour.
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Seriously though Bob looks good. Doesn't he? Wow. Especially his huge forehead. One could try to kick a field goal from one end of it and not hit the end zone. I'm kidding of course, he's a cutie.
I will be posting more pics of Bob and Lorraine in the future. They bought a new trailer. And they just got back from England and Poland. Hello. Boy did I make some wrong moves in life.

from Poland

These are just three of the great pics that Bob took from Poland that I chose to highlight. Note that Lorraine is in everyone of them. Not a coincidence.





I was considering not showing these pics that Bob took at the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum in Oswiecim, Poland on my blog. For only a second. I had the opportunity to see another concentration camp when I visited Munich Germany many years ago and I just couldn't bring myself to go. These are just three pics to remind us all that life is precious..so very precious.





A wee short note

I wasn't able to bike today, a Friday. For every reason known to mankind: the weather, my back, and lacking brakes on my bike (which hopefully I will get fixed this weekend). But I still feel like a lazy, good for nothing person. Can a sixty-one year old white male be angst ridden and anorexic? I'm thinking of the exercise regime I will start any day now: push-ups (unfortunately I've got the weakest arms in the history of mankind so that's out); running-on-the spot (unfortunately I can't run on the go much less run on the spot); skip rope (I can't find a single store in Toronto that stocks skipping ropes); hang myself from a rafter (it's an option); sit-ups (this is the one, they'll keep my washboard stomach from looking like a wash basin stomach).

I read an article in the New York Times on the Okanagan Valley weeks ago. As is my habit sometimes I like to praise persons for work well done, and so I looked up the Okanagan Valley Tourist Board and sent them a congratulatory e-mail on their good work. As it happened the person who responded to me was Deanna who grew up in Cranbrook. I have an open invitation to stop in anytime when I'm out there and she'll give me a guided tour of Kelowna. I just sent her another e-mail which may prompt her to adopt me....can a sixty-one year old white male be adopted?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

from Neil

Spectacular pics of Rae Glacier in the Kananaskis. That is Neil skiing in the top pic.

I see blue sky....ooh, that's what it looks like.



from Ger

A pic from the hot tub of the (presumably) first snowfall.

We haven't had snow yet in T.O. It's just been overcast for 9,000 days in a row...snow would be a relief.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A hodgepodge

- I live in a yuppie neighbourhood. All the couples who live in my neighbourhood are in their thirties and are lawyers and accountants who are on their way to being CE.O.s. There are very few kids on my street. Today, on the way to the store, I was following two women whom were walking their Swiss Border Dachhounds: "my ex is friends with my current husband, Claude, they get along well". "really, my ex is an Aries and he can't stand Chad whom is a Leo." I immediately got a headache and felt nauseous.

- A Christmas tree was put up in the lobby at work last Wednesday. If I had anything to do with anything I would ban Christmas decorations until at least December 15th.

- If I was marooned on an island, I wouldn't want to be rescued by Madonna.

- The CFL finals. The best of memories sitting in McMahon Stadium in the coldest of weather.

- Actually if I was marooned on an island I wouldn't want be marooned with Jim, Ger or Kev: Jim: "Uncle Don did I tell you about the time I.." "Sixteen hundred times" "what about the time I.." "two thousand and twelve times" "And remember..." "you're talking" "but.." "just be quiet and climb that tree and get us some coconuts" Ger: "Uncle Don I'm going cut down that coconut tree and make it into a semi-detached bungalow." "where are you going to get the shale for the spiral staircase?" "you have to swim out to that reef." "That's twelve miles away, I'm not that good a swimmer" "Flipper will help you carry the shale back." Kev: "Uncle Don have you seen my shotgun?" "your who'm?" "my shotgun" "you mean that thing with a hair trigger?" "Uh huh" "are you in a good mood today?" "not particularly." "um, well you see a shark attacked us while you slept and I used it to fend off impending doom" "I'm going a make a shotgun out of that coconut tree" "good idea, great idea, amazingly great idea, take your time"

- As I may have mentioned, I pulled a muscle in my back. That is pain. I had to take three days off work. Who cares. The thing is, it was more comfortable for me to sit, trying to lay down and sleep was impossible. And at sixy-one, one's sleep patterns are more or less defined: "ten o-clock, time for bed." "I can't move." "You have to go to bed." "Just this once can I not move?" "okay I'll go to bed, ach, ouch, gad, aah" "that wasn't so bad was it?" "now what do I do?" "sleep" "sleep?, I'm in complete &(%^ pain and I'm supposed to sleep, I've never been more awake in my life, and I can't sleep on my back, I just can't do that, I have to be in a fetal position" "you know if I wasn't your concience I would move on to someone else, gawd you are a baby." "okay here goes, I'm astir, moving to lay on my left side (my fave), do you think my screaming will wake up the neighbourhood?" "think positively in between the searing pain, at least you are not angst-ridden at the moment"

- When I finally do move out to Creston, there will be many, many things I will miss about Toronto. It is the greatest city in the world I think. But I don't think I should have decided to come to Creston at Christmas. It's going to kill me coming back. But when Anita yells at me from across the table when I'm talking to Kev on the phone "Uncle Don, come home for Christmas", one can hardly refuse. It wasn't that bad the last time. I don't know how I do it actually. I guess I must have some inner strength that I don't know about and only use for moments like those. It is not easy, I tell you that one.

- Okay I will do this once. Only for unbiased purposes mind you. Jim is okay. If one was going to write a history of the world he might not be included. But he should be. There is a person whom I respect. He's not bad. And Ger. He is angst-ridden too and I find that so endearing. And Kev is the one whom understands me and there is not that many persons around who do.

- Perhaps I shouldn't be invited anywhere. Last Sunday morn I set myself on fire. This won't make Kev happy but yes I did. Why am I billowing in smoke? Oh, my robe is on fire. Thankfully I was able to put the fire out before it spread. 99.99% of the time l lead a normal life. It's that .01% that is a problem. I completely think I'm a victim of circumstance.

- Agh. guess what? I was talking to Col and he either got bored with me or hung up because Kev wanted him to. I going to spend money that I can't afford coming out there? I don't think so. I'm not good at climbing stairs. Especially after a few beer. I've never seen Kev's upper floors. Hello: I couldn't climb those sober. I bike to Etobicoke and back every day and have survived near-death experiences but I can't climb Kev's stairs. Once, and only once, I did take the stairs down. "watch the step Uncle Don there is one missing". "one what?" "step". "why is every step wobbly, if I fall I'll sue you". By the way this is where me and Anita snuggle" "yay, if I'm not upstairs within sixteen seconds I'm going to kill myself". "you don't like it?" "it seems kind of dark" "you don't like what Anita has done to it, she'll kill you when she finds that out". "Dark in a good way" If I lived there I would keep the deck and torch the house. If I somehow had money and was Kevin, I'd make that place into the greatest place of all time. Sitting around the table and throwing darts doesn't do it.

I don't understand why Col hangs up me. So I look around and wonder if I'm an asshole. All my life I've had to dumb down. I completely get tired of pretending I'm stupid. Actually maybe I am.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Sunday morning musings with coffee

I must admit, it's nice to be able to pick up the phone and talk to Kev with his new attitude towards me. I try not to take advantage of it although I woke him up yesterday morning. I'm always up at five a.m .so phoning him at nine was quite an achievement in patience for me. And I talked to Ger. Geez that was nice. If there was something I could do about not phoning them I would do it. Only because I don't want to seem like a pest. But there is nothing I can do about it. On Friday during the working day I say: "no phoning family this weekend". And of course after six beer I have to. Oh well, I could be a serial killer. Or a porn star (well you never know, it could happen). So I guess loving my family is not so bad.

And I have pics of Bob and Lorrraine's trip to England and Poland to post this week. And I talked to Karri-man and Loretta. And beloved Anita. I didn't talk to Jim, Col, and Ty but they know I love them. Why would anyone care? I'm annoying. I'm sure. I think 61 is too young to hate Mondays. I have a problem with Mondays. You guys are all so young so you wouldn't get it. An old like me just drags his ass getting up monday morn. I wrore the below sober so don't expect much. And I love classical music. I think I'm good. I really do. I have to prove it to you.



it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. That wasn't a bad experience. I felt completely honoured. Last summer was rediculous for me. I'm a normal person whom should be treated with respect but that's it. Although it is nice to be treated special I must admit. I don't deserve it. Of course when I actually move to Creston it will be different: from Jim: Now that I've got you ice fishing and you have no where to go I'm going to talk about my last hunting expedition for twelve hours straight. from Ger: I'm going to build the Great Wall of China and you have to help me carry the rocks down from the summit. from Kev: if you're sitting on the deck in the morning contemplating life and utter a sound, I'm going to shoot you. In fact if you blink you are dead. In fact If you don't throw that dart now you are dead. You don't have to explain to us why the trajectory has to be like an arc. And we are never playing Trivial Persuit. And start walking towards town and the bus station, you are a threat to mankind.

A warning

On the outside, it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. But none of you have any idea about me. Nil. You three are too tame for me. I'm better than you guys by a thousand times. You guys wouldn't do what I do in a trillion years. 'no pain, no gain': Jim, Kev, Ger and Rob are not up to my standards. You guys can do all you want but you will never, ever be up to me. You have no idea about me, I guarantee you there. I'm so much better than you will ever realize.

Monday morning I'm going to be hitting the road again. And you guys will just jump in the truck and go to work: "no pain, no gain" Just be careful. To me you all seem to be indistructable but if I ever lost one of you I'd have to kill myself.

Friday, November 10, 2006

A day in the life...


I must admit sometimes I'm a trifle tired when I get home from work. As in today....
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4:45-6:20 am: get up, start coffee perking, shower, drink coffee while reading my favourite newspaper websites for the news, make breakfast (this morning consisting of hash browns, scrambled eggs, toast with marmelade, and sliced tomatoes), make my lunch (consisting of a bagel with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and a pickle) and then make my first major decision of the day. What to wear to work. When biking to work in November in Toronto it's all about the weather. Is it raining now? If not will it be raining when I bike home? Should I wear two pairs of gloves or just one? And it goes on and on, but today there was no rain forecast so it wasn't quite such a major decision. But I did wear the wrong pair of gloves because it was colder than I thought. I forget to check out the ^$$^)(&$% wind chill.
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6:21-7:35 am: bike to work. This of course is normally my fave time of the day. But this morning I was starting work an hour earlier because we are busy and so I had to make the second major decision of the day: take a route to work I hate, but which take less time, or the one with less traffic but takes fifteen minutes longer. I took the shorter route but grumbled under my breath something about: 'when am I gonna stop and smell the roses?'.
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8:00-4:00 pm: During this period of time I made the third through tenth major decisions of the day. Should I eat the energy bar on my first break or the slice of pound cake? Should I work until five and make a little extra money? And of course, being Friday, I had extra major decisions to make. If I do my grocery shopping tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow. If I go to my usual drug store tonight and buy the ibuprofin and vitamin pills tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow (by the way why does everything run out at the same time?). But I survived my hated job for another week at least.
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4:00-5:05 pm: The wind was with me I guess. Friday biking home is the one day I clear my head and just enjoy it.
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5:06-5:27 pm: grocery shop. I've shopped at this particular Food Basics for a long time. Pretty well got it down except my bank card never works in the slot. Well, I can't make it work, they have no prob making it work. I seethe for at least a minute after I've bought groceries there, wondering why I don't have the touch (don't I lead a wonderfully exciting life?). Take groceries home and lock up my bike up for the 75th time today.
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5:28-5:51 pm: Slowly walk up the stairs and take my backpack and bike helmet off and collapse. And remember it's Friday. Who cares about one-a-day vitamins? Who cares about a back ache? It's beer time!
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5:52-6:00 pm: Hippity-hop down the stairs, unlock the bike lock, jump on the bike and hit the beer store and am back in eight minutes (could be a record).
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It was nice to receive this e-mail from Ger: 'well unc of the funk,i just spent the last hour reviewing the Stormblog and what you have written in the last 6 months..Let me tell you that my stomach hurts from laughing and i think that your writing is awesome!!! Thanks for having a website that we can look at and review what's happening in little old Creston that's being written by our uncle in Toronto--how bizarre is that?' Great to hear, but I can't seem to find any editor out there that wants to publish anything I have to say. I don't look that hard because I don't have time.
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Recently the New York Times wrote a great article on the Okanagan: 'a hidden treasure' type thing. I looked up the tourism board for the Okanagan and sent them an e-mail congratulating them on their success. Got a great e-mail back from whomever at the tourism board and thanking me for making their day. I have no idea what my role in life is supposed to be. The point being is I like to make people feel good about themselves (except my family, they don't listen).
I feel like I'm going through hell right now, I really do, but I imagine everyone goes through the same thing when they are sixty-one. I have to figure out a way to get to Roy and Leo's zaniness (and happiness it seems to me) without actually being zany and happy. Zany is not the correct word, but when I talk to Leo, I feel younger. I haven't talked to Roy for months but I can't imagine him being much different.
They are the two that I think we should be completely pleased about and thank gawd they are still with us.
Yay.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I was just e-mailing Jim and something hit me. An idea. Really and truly I go through hell. But I may have one of the greatest senses of humour in the history of mankind. Perhaps that is why I'm on this earth. It's not that difficult when you have relatives like mine. Hello. I can tell a funny story about every single one my relatives. Every single one. I haven't even come close yet to writing my memories down, but they are stored up my brain and they will be written some day. I've really, really tried to write serious stuff. It's beyond me. I see the good and funny side of everything. And I tell you, I've probably done more silly stuff that any person in the history of mankind. Not that I wanted to. It just seems to happen. Those memories will never be written. First of all not a soul would believe them and second of all I'd be put away for the rest of my life.

Thank you Kev for talking to me, thank you Bob for e-mailing me I'm looking forward to receiving more pics. Thank you Ger and Justin for being strange. And everyone else. You keep me alive and well. I can't ask for much more than that. Hugs and kisses to you all.

Friday, November 03, 2006


It seems this is the only picture I've got of Kevin and Anita's place. So blot out the people pictured in the foreground and imagine how nice it is to visit them coming from downtown Toronto. I love visiting Bob and Lorraine and they have such a nice corner lot, it's amazing. And Jim and Brenda have the best location in Cranbrook I think. When I'm in Cranbrook that is where I want to be. And of course Ger and Karri have the most extraordinary backyard and location possible in town. I love it and I feel so comfortable there. But that is civilization. .
When I come out there for a week I don't want civilization. I'm in the midst of it every day of my life and Kev's place is there where there is no civilization. In fact I'm not sure there are life forms. I can remember that place and it looked like a hillbilly heaven. Anita has done the most amazing job. And Kev of course with the help of Roy on the house and the boys I'm sure. How many persons like perfection? Not me. I'm sixty-one, hopefully that gives me a little bit of credibility. I feel at home in many places, I'm not that hard to please, but when I walk into Anita's home I feel at home. I notice that too with Bob and Lorraine and Jim and Brenda and Ger and Karri (no one is ever going to accuse me of favouritsm). If someone was going to put a shotgun to my head and ask where would I like to spend the last evening of my life before my brains were splattered across the wall, I might say Kevin and Anita's, although I'd certainly consider other relatives too:
I might not consider Ger though. Can you imagine? "hi Ger" "whom are youm?" "your uncle, remember the only person in the history of mankind who can actually put up with you and who thinks you are cute and kind of funny, I'm living with you for the rest of your life" "what day is this?" "the first day"
And then there Jim of whom I'd have to set some perameters before I moved in: "don't talk about the Navy, or anything actually" "what about my hunting experiences?" "above all not that that" "quad trips?" "nope" "fishing expeditions?" "boring" "climbing the highest mountain with a grizzly after me?" "yawn" "using my expertise in cooking a great meal" "now your talking"
We all know Kev is perfect of course. I presume so: "Kev?" "what?" "far be it for me to criticize you since you've lived here for thirty years or so, but may I ask why you are naked and carrying a shotgun around the house?" "I'm looking for noisy rodunts" "Kev, it's cold out and rodunts don't like the cold and now that you mention it maybe they do, I'll keep a chart and track them from day to day, and if I can find a trend then.....why are you pointing that shotgun at me?"

This is either a mirage or Justin is walking across the Gobi Desert dressed like a guerrilla carrying an Uzi. I couldn't tell you where he might be headed but if he's on his way to pick up a dead duck, it doesn't seem quite worth it to me.
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Not having duck-hunted myself, and knowing Roy, Jim, Ger, and Kev I've always assumed that it involved, more or less, shooting towards the flock of ducks, watching one of them fall from the sky, having a dog retrieve said dead duck and then resuming the party. I know Ger perhaps takes duck hunting a touch more serious than others might but to send his only begotten son off to retrieve a dead duck that fell a mile and a half away, across a bleak Martian landscape seems rather heartless to me.
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"Dad, I have to what?" "go get that dead duck" "why me?" "do you see a Golden Retreiver around?" "no" "guess what?" "I haven't had lunch yet Dad and besides when I get back I won't look like a poster boy from Field and Stream" "Son, sometimes one has to sacrifice for the good of...........whatever" "What are you going to do while I'm trudging across that vast plain on an empty stomach?" "catch a few rays" "catch a few rays?" "and keep an eye out for oncoming flocks of ducks of course"