Sunday, July 23, 2006


That was the greatest trip and the time of my life. I hear others say it was pretty good. You guys should have been me. I was expecting good. I presumed that. But great? I never presume great. I wasn't feeling that well leading up to that week. I thought to myself oh gawd lord, Ger, Kev and Jim will be impressed with me won't they when you throw up in their face upon your arrival. Jim will have to put me and Kodiak down. Boing!! I fly over the mountains and land in Cranbrook and I'm a new, old man. I feel better instantly and felt great the whole week.

Sunday Musings

I wish Tiger would smile. I would like to thank the following persons for making that week a good one: Uncle Don: what can I say. Uncle Jim: the canoe trip wouldn't have happened without him. I don't mind him really. He reminds me of my great, great, great, great, great, great, great Aunt Bea. Although Aunt Bea was a little more active. Actually a lot more active. Uncle Don loved Uncle Jim's bacon. No one can do bacon better. Aunt Brenda: the silent but deadly one. Did anyone notice that Aunt Brenda did not receive any blame for anything? Nuttin. Nil. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Shouldn't there be some blame attached? Who knew? Aunt Brenda should worry because Uncle Don is going to make Aunt Brenda's life hell next year. Cackle, cackle. Uncle Ger: there is not enough space. But I'm in a good mood so I will choose only the positive aspects of Uncle Ger (long pause). I need help here. Hello. Fill in the blanks. I've seen many grouses happier than Uncle Ger. He's not that bad really. Yes he is. Worse. He did complain about Karri-woman just a bit. A bit? Aunt Karri: There is definitely not enough space. If one actually listened to Uncle Ger one would think Aunt Karri is strange. I didn't think so. To me dangling a fish and then plopping in the water is normal. And jumping from one canoe to another. And no one else could have done this if they tried a thousand times: my glasses are safe. I have a blue ribbon attached to them so that if I drown at least my glasses will still be attached to my head. Swish, what is that noise? I wasn't even surprised. Oh yeah that is just Aunt Karri fishing and my blue glass attachments are gone. There is not enough space. So the canoe weekend is over. Whew, I survived Karri. Hello. I had a beautiful dinner at Ger and Karri's. I look forward to that more than one would ever know. "Uncle Don?" "yes Karri". "ask Anita if we could pop over tomorrow night". "really?" This is Wednesday. Actually I don't remember a thing about Thursday other than Ger grousing. Has anyone noticed other than me that he could be the funniest person alive when he's grousing about Karri? Whew, I survived Thursday with Karri. Yay. And while I have a dart in hand ready to throw I hear someone say (out loud): "we are going to have a fondue tomorrow night" hello. Thank good gawd I had Ger sitting next to me during the fondue. I'm not sure I would have been able to eat otherwise. Everything was too far away but Ger's plate was handy. One great thing about being the eldest uncle is that one can pretty well get away with anything. And of course Karri took me in hand and we went to her place of business on the Wednesday. (I'm sorry about the mishmash of time, I just type what I think). If anyone want's to get on my good side it is to fix my glasses. I think it is fate. Almost every time I've ever gone down to Creston I've pretty well had my glasses broken. Now I don't have to worry about it anymore. And yes, I was impressed when I talked to Karri on the phone at Comforts. Thank you Karri.

Uncle Kevin: I hope Kev isn't staying up at night waiting for a good review. He's lost his edge. Although when I saw him after Colin drove up the hill to fix his bumper it came back. I said to myself aah, this is going to be interesting. This may not be a boring night after all. Hello. And I completely agree with Justin. No long goodbys are permitted. So vroom Justin and Shayna and Colin and Jennifer leave. "Uncle Don?" "yes" "we know what to expect now don't we?" "oh yeah, the sons are completely in the wrong and the fathers will feel guilty" "yes, you could pretty well set your watch to this happening" Back to Uncle Kev. Is he aging? He doesn't seem to like danger any more. If he wants to canoe with me next he'd better smarten up. Although I love Jim dearly and I'm so glad he is alive and well and I bow to him always, I don't need an Aunt Bea II. As I've mentioned in previous blogs, Saturday before I left for Toronto was good. Other than Karri falling into the river, that could have been the funniest thing I've ever seen (actually every day of that week was the funniest). I'm gonna repeat myself but I can't help it. It's 5 am and I have to catch a plane in a few hours. But I didn't care about that. I cared about Jim's home. "Kev, see that building yonder?, we have to go there fairly soon" Hello. We made though and I was impressed with Kev that week (see the heading up top: musings?, well I'm musing: I've never been treated so well by so many, I can't even explain it to Bob or anyone, no one would believe it)

Aunt Anita: I love Aunt Anita. If I'm going to have a good time in Creston, Anita is a key. For me, her smile is worth a trillion dollars. I completely feel relaxed around her and I think she enjoys my company. We get along so well. Anita is the sane person in that family and gawd anyone who could put up with Kev should be given a Medal of Honour. I think I can read people and I have to in order to write. I think the world of Anita.

Have I finished describing the old persons now? That was a chore (I'm kidding).

Colin: Pretty well my favourite person in the history of mankind. All Sunday night, people were wondering if Colin would come back Monday morn. Not a single person asked me for an opinion but I tried to tell everyone that yes he would be. I may have been the only one that had 100% confidence in him. My memory isn't that great but I don't think there was a day I didn't see Colin. And I was just about to run out of Bud one time and guess who showed up with six cold ones.

Tyler: I didn't see much of Tyler that week. Except I think Sunday night. Another amazing event that no one was witness to. "Ty?" "yes Uncle Don" "the fire is going out" So while I relaxed Ty pretty well cleaned out the campground of kindling. "Ty" "yes uncle Don" "that fire is making a lot of noise, won't Karri get up and yell at us?" "she will and we will ignore her" "good plan". "Ty?" "yes Uncle Don" "the world revolves, I haven't dared to say that this weekend, but you I can tell tell that to, do you think I'm strange?"

Justin: I will only say one or two things about Justin. The weekend wouldn't have been great without him. How does one quantify greatness? Justin was there in the canoe next to me and we had to listen to you people, the second-class citizens. And Karri was to my right. Not a bad combo. Justin and Shayna were there for the fondue. I was secretly ogling Shayna, I hope that is not a prob.

I Save the Best for the Last:

Jen: I apologize for this right off the bat. So far I'm red-blooded. Baby Duck. There we go. I don't mind Jen. I think she is the cutest person in the history of mankind but I can't say that can I? (a little aside: obviously because I live in Toronto I notice this. I see the persons who work at Overwaitea and Mr. Sub and the liquor store and they are happy in Creston. They aren't happy here. People are really, really nice to me here because I'm old and decrepid. But I really notice the difference though. Every time I go to Creston, it is really a cultural shock. And the Overwaitea is a prime example. In more ways than one it is a shock to my system. If you guys care or not I don't know. But I'm ready to move out there. It's getting near the time I did that. I don't know where I will live (I will only live near Kev's but not with him). Although living in Creston would be okay I guess. I take everything back. I could live in downtown Creston. I will be able to bike. It would be tough to bike up that hill. Yes so Jen is cute.

Shayna: I envy Justin. Did I mention that Justin is great? I was completely impressed. Too bad his father is so annoying. I don't think anyone noticed (and by the way, is Creston the only place where stupid people hang out?) I wanted to hug Shayna a thousand times but I was only able to get a furtive glance in once in a while. That won't happen again, I'll do the full fledged hug next time. Justin could have introduced us but he never did.

Did I miss anyone? Life changes a lot. I don't think I will ever live in Creston really. I've got a few things going on that may work. Or mostly may not. The only way I will ever move to Creston is in a shack on Kev's property with computer hook-up. and there is no shack so I'm not too worried.

Yay hah.