Sunday, March 11, 2007

Wow

It is nice here in Toronto today. Warm and sunny. Unfortunately my bike is in the bike shop getting tuned up but I did go for a walk. No wind which is the most unusual thing of all. Had a nice breakfast, one can't be in a bad mood today.

Although I came close. My neighbour has a Bich-Poo, which is a cross between a Bichon Frise and a Poodle. Cutest little thing in the world but it gnawed on my running shoe while we talked. And it wouldn't let go: "Doug?" "yes don?" "Munchkin seems to like my foot" "yes, it seems to be attracted to running shoes that are made in China, but it's cute isn't it" "how much did you pay for Munchkin?" "triple figures" "more than $99?" "much more, it really has taken a liking to you, Cynthia and I are going to the South of France in a couple of weeks would you like to look after Munchkin while we are gone?" "I'd love to, it would be an honour but I'm going to be admitting myself into the hospital and have a mini gastric bypass and I'm expecting post-nasal drip complications" "who's your physician?" "um, ah, oh Dr. Bloemfontein" "THE Dr. Bloemfontein?" "That's him, yes, it is him, you know of him?" "yes of course, he performed lipo-surgery on Cynthia"

So after I got rid of Munchkin and Doug, I walked down to the Sip and Bite for breakfast (which is near my bike shop, I had to see if my bike was being taken care of properly). The Sip and Bite is owned by two bossy Japanese sisters: Misaki and Mizuki. "Ah Mr. Storm you return for breakfast, where have you been?" "I've been busy, this and that, life marches on" "you will have our special, the Klondike Sunday Brunch?" "I think I'll have something different this time, I feel like pancakes today" "whom?" "I'll have pancakes" "Mizuki doesn't do pancakes" "a cheese omelette?" "we don't have cheese or eggs" "toast with peanut butter?" "you are having Yakisuba Noodles whether you like it or not" "can I get marmalade with it?" "no".

And then after leaving the Sip and Bite, I sat down on the bench outside my barbers to have a cigarette and soak up the sun: "Meester Storm, you don't like Luigi and me?" "I love you and Luigi, Pedro, I'll be in for a haircut next week, but please don't bring up the space/time continuum theory as a topic of discussion, it gets boring after a while" "can we talk about the fundamentals of phycological theories?" "perhaps but Luigi is rather set in his ways about giving me a bad haircut" "he's enrolled in a night-school for barbers"
Hi all,

It's warm here today (-2) relatively speaking. And not a cloud in the sky.

Yay.

I am not happy with Kevin. He let me down this time. The Storm's are supposed to be special but he makes a mockery of that thought. If I'm down there for the canoe weekend, and if Kevin is alone in the canoe with me, I'm going to drown him. Drowning is too nice a word. His lungs will fill with water and they will collapse and he will gasp for breath, and then I'm going to drown him. And after he's expired I'm going to use his body as deadweight on the front end of the canoe because I'm a better conoeist than him and I will decide where we paddle: "Kev, you are quiet, oh I forgot your dead" "We are conoeing through this maze of thistles and if you were alive you'd be frightened" "I don't see any family, do you think we are lost, Kev?" "I know you are deceased but could you at least paddle a bit?" "why are your knees so knobby, even when you are expired, your knees are knobby" "and it's your and Anita's turn to make lunch, I'm presuming it will be a good one, I'll do the mustard in your absence, you can look after the canoe while the rest of us eat" "and I've solved one thing by drowning you, we'll have enough chicken wings to go around" "and you won't have to hide behind a tire this evening" "if you were alive I would insist you walk to the highway and lay down on the dotted line and wait for a semi to run over you" "maybe I'll carry your bod to the highway, at least you aren't heavy, and have Justin, Ger and Col run over you with their trucks while we wait for a big semi carrying a full load of liquid nitrogen to appear" "and every autum, Jim and Ger and me will stop by the campsite and look for a lost body" "hello, why did we stop and look for Jen's baseball mitt when I knew it was in Colin's truck the whole time?" "Ger, why are we looking for a mitt when we all know that it is in Colin's truck?" "because we are stupid and are members of the Storm clan" "so it's a complete waste of time" "yes but we have to look" "what if we find it?" "ignore it, it's in Colin's truck" "I found Kevin's body, I guess I didn't bury deep enough in July" "oh this is where he is, I wondered, Delorus did mention that she hadn't seen Kevin for a while"