Sunday, April 30, 2006

The art and collected works of Jim, Ger, Julie and Kev

I can't find any but I'm searching. I'll find it. Jim was the first born. Everyone clap. And Ger came about because Roy and Anna were bored. And none of us actually know why Julie was born. And Kevin. An act of desperation.

Refer all questions to Roy, the last living fossil. Uncle Don is probably not the one to turn to since he hasn't figured out how to tie shoe laces.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Atonement, or Not?

As the sun sets on another day in Santa Barbara, it has come to the attention of this blogger that the bloggees are getting concerned about the updates on my blog.
In the interests of my self-preservation, this blogger should, in the future, only portray the life and times of Ger and Jim in terms of the way they think it should be portrayed. They truly believe that their lives consist of being God's gift to everyone, being downtrodden but yet rising above all the flotsam and jetsom of life and thus being heroes to those lucky enough to know them and, of course, having the complete confidence in themselves to know they are right all the time.
But I've never heard Brenda or Karri mention those being Ger and Jim's good traits. In fact, I've never heard Brenda or Karri mention Jim and Ger having any good traits at all. When I'm in doubt, I always side with the women, it's always worked for me.
So I will continue to tell the 'truth" as painful as it might be.
(Editor's note: This ad payed for by the Karri/Brenda Fund for Assisting Annoying Husbands Whom Think They Are Meaningful (KBFAAHWTTAM)).

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Upcoming Events

Jim and Ger have become quite active in the aged community since they found out that they are going to be granddads.
Jim was appointed Chairman of the National Committe of Old Farts. Ger is the First Vice-President-elect.
Normally, the convention is held Biennially on the Wednesday following the anniversary of Lawrence Welk's death. But Ger talked Jim into holding it annually on the Saturday preceding the birth of Methuselah. A dance contest, held in conjunction with the convention, was discontinued in 1985 because Guy Lombardo passed away.
Jim and Ger are quite progressive as far as old farts go. They decided to hire a consultant to encourage more old farts to join the old farts association. Roy, The Supreme Old Fart Of All Time was chosen to pick the consultant. He didn't have to go far: he chose Don, the Current Old Fart Supremo. "Don, Old Fart Supremo, how do we get more members?" Ger asked. "who are you, young fart are you a member of the farts association?" Supremo Don asked. "yes oh supremo I am and I have question, how do we get more farts?" "Ah, yes, well I have been training a young fart to take over my throne: The Iron Fart Throne" Supremo Don said. "Oh Sepremo Fartness, whom would that beith". Ger asked. A roll of drums: "Funny you ask". "it will beith Kevin The Regurgitation Fart on the Fifth Behafth". Ger and Jim in unison: "We have a young fart to take over an old fart and he will bring many fart members in".
"Yes", Roy The Supreme Fart Of All Time said "Yay", Don the Supremo Fart said, "ooh" Ger and Jim The Up And Coming Farts sighed. "all hail Kevin The Regurgitation Fart".

From the Archives - A Weekend Camping Trip

Last May, while Kev, Ger Colin and Jim decided to stay at the campground, the fairer sex decided to drive into Yahk to buy beer, whiskey and cigarettes. Of course the girls were talking a mile a minute and Anita, the driver, didn't notice the Moyie River had risen so much that it was flowing across the highway.

Pictured here, from left to right, are Anita, Karri, Jennifer and Brenda. Note that Anita was doing all the work, Karri, Jennifer and Brenda were just trying to warm their hands.

Alf, the Greyhound bus driver volunteered to take them in to his motel room to warm up, but Tyler drove up just in time to rescue them. The four of them went back to Creston and bar-hopped, while Kev, Ger, Colin and Jim stewed around the campfire. Finally, after the whiskey ran out they jumped into Ger's truck and headed to Yahk. And of course there was even more b.s. going on and so Ger drove right into the water. They had to pay Alf, the Greyhound bus driver $500 to pull the truck out.

A good time was had by all, especially the women and Tyler.