Sunday, October 15, 2006

On writing and other things

So I'm in sitting in front of the computer and I'm poised to write something brilliant. If not brilliant, at least remotely interesting. I've got the tv on football, I'm listening to bluegrass music, my coffee is at hand, and my mind is totally and completely blank. Writer's block? I've got thinking block.

I'm looking out my window and I see my bike locked to the fence and it looks so lonely. The poor thing, it needs me to ride it. But then no writing. Now I'm looking at my guitar. It looks lonely too, it needs strumming, but then no writing. Now I see people walking around outside. They look happy, why wouldn't they be, they are outside. I need a walk, but then no writing. Now I'm looking at Ger's work of art hanging on the wall. The intricacy of it, I'm not writing.

I'm thinking of Robin's garlic crop. He planted 350 lbs. of it yesterday and he's sold most of it already. Sean and Aimee (Gail's two youngest) helped him plant the garlic. I should write an article on garlic. Unfortunately I know nothing about garlic so it would be a short one.

I seem to know a lot about everything that is boring and very little about anything that is interesting. I could write a book about biking in Toronto but everyone would doze off while reading the prologue. I could write a book about Kevin and me canoeing but if you've been in a canoe with him lately you know how boring that would be. I could write a cookbook with Jim on the art of cooking big game properly. Unfortunately he's still trying to find some. I could write about Roy and his naps, but I'd fall asleep.

I almost never get nostalgic, but I do look back with fondness on my first ski trip, to Sunshine Village with family. "Okay Uncle Don you'll be okay, you've got Roy and Leo on either side of you on this triple chair, you won't get hurt". "Okay". I ended up being okay except I sent both Roy and Leo off into a snowbank when we got off the chair. At that point in time it was every man for himself and I guess I needed a lot of elbow room. Gail and Julie were the only ones who had enough patience to get me down the Strawberry run.

The above isn't a pic of my bike although I can see the benefits of having one like it. The uzi would definitely come in handy. Did anyone watch the Loafs and Flames last night? Boy did Mats look good. I did not know that he has scored more OT goals than anyone else. I took the time to e-mail the Edmonton Eskimo front office to give condolences to them for missing the playoffs for the first time in gawd knows how long. I actually remember Hugh Campbell playing football. And I went to Stampede Wrestling. To see Sweet Daddy Siki. I enjoyed it completely. I also remember sitting in The Highlander with Glen Higa, Ken, and Bob Fujino.

But it's impossible for a person to be treated any better than from Jim and Ger on a canoe trip. I try not to think about it, and Justin, and Colin. And everyone. Anita, Karri-women, Brenda. Ty. Jen, Shawna. You will note that Kev's name is missing. He doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve. I have some theories on this:

Uncle Don's Top Ten Theories on Kev:

10. He thinks he should be #1 which isn't going to happen when I'm around.

09. Other than him being able to tally dart scores, I can't see why he exists.

08. He loves to hide under Justin's truck at least once a year.

07. He gets every quip I say and that is not an easy thing to do. One has to be really strange to do that.

06. His renowned reputation of hatred towards cats is unfounded. He loves cats as long as they don't do anything.

05. His kneecaps should be put in a hall of fame. And his legs. Hello.

04. He could be smarter than all of us put together (and so could Ger). I have really intelligent relatives. And Julie. And everyone, amazing really.

03. Well maybe not. I didn't start out this blog way back when using the Beverly Hillbillies as examples for no reason.

02. If he going is going to want to canoe with me, he'd better crank it up. I know we went where others didn't go. That is not even close to being enough.

01. The Storms/Douvilles are special. I think Kev is special among the special. Maybe.