from Robin

We were just up in Calgary, I went to Lethbridge to play oldtimers hockey (I bet you can't believe I'm an oldtimer), and Karen went to Calgary to see Colleen play against U of C. We got blown out early so I went up with a buddy to catch the volleyball game last night. Karen and Colleen were surprised to see me. Colleen led her team in kills. We drove home today and Colleen flew back to Vancouver. Marcel was up in Kamloops for the weekend playing volleyball tourny.

I was just e-mailing Jim and something hit me. An idea. Really and truly I go through hell. But I may have one of the greatest senses of humour in the history of mankind. Perhaps that is why I'm on this earth. It's not that difficult when you have relatives like mine. Hello. I can tell a funny story about every single one my relatives. Every single one. I haven't even come close yet to writing my memories down, but they are stored up my brain and they will be written some day. I've really, really tried to write serious stuff. It's beyond me. I see the good and funny side of everything. And I tell you, I've probably done more silly stuff that any person in the history of mankind. Not that I wanted to. It just seems to happen. Those memories will never be written. First of all not a soul would believe them and second of all I'd be put away for the rest of my life.

Thank you Kev for talking to me, thank you Bob for e-mailing me I'm looking forward to receiving more pics. Thank you Ger and Justin for being strange. And everyone else. You keep me alive and well. I can't ask for much more than that. Hugs and kisses to you all.

It seems this is the only picture I've got of Kevin and Anita's place. So blot out the people pictured in the foreground and imagine how nice it is to visit them coming from downtown Toronto. I love visiting Bob and Lorraine and they have such a nice corner lot, it's amazing. And Jim and Brenda have the best location in Cranbrook I think. When I'm in Cranbrook that is where I want to be. And of course Ger and Karri have the most extraordinary backyard and location possible in town. I love it and I feel so comfortable there. But that is civilization. .

When I come out there for a week I don't want civilization. I'm in the midst of it every day of my life and Kev's place is there where there is no civilization. In fact I'm not sure there are life forms. I can remember that place and it looked like a hillbilly heaven. Anita has done the most amazing job. And Kev of course with the help of Roy on the house and the boys I'm sure. How many persons like perfection? Not me. I'm sixty-one, hopefully that gives me a little bit of credibility. I feel at home in many places, I'm not that hard to please, but when I walk into Anita's home I feel at home. I notice that too with Bob and Lorraine and Jim and Brenda and Ger and Karri (no one is ever going to accuse me of favouritsm). If someone was going to put a shotgun to my head and ask where would I like to spend the last evening of my life before my brains were splattered across the wall, I might say Kevin and Anita's, although I'd certainly consider other relatives too:

I might not consider Ger though. Can you imagine? "hi Ger" "whom are youm?" "your uncle, remember the only person in the history of mankind who can actually put up with you and who thinks you are cute and kind of funny, I'm living with you for the rest of your life" "what day is this?" "the first day"

And then there Jim of whom I'd have to set some perameters before I moved in: "don't talk about the Navy, or anything actually" "what about my hunting experiences?" "above all not that that" "quad trips?" "nope" "fishing expeditions?" "boring" "climbing the highest mountain with a grizzly after me?" "yawn" "using my expertise in cooking a great meal" "now your talking"

We all know Kev is perfect of course. I presume so: "Kev?" "what?" "far be it for me to criticize you since you've lived here for thirty years or so, but may I ask why you are naked and carrying a shotgun around the house?" "I'm looking for noisy rodunts" "Kev, it's cold out and rodunts don't like the cold and now that you mention it maybe they do, I'll keep a chart and track them from day to day, and if I can find a trend then.....why are you pointing that shotgun at me?"

This is either a mirage or Justin is walking across the Gobi Desert dressed like a guerrilla carrying an Uzi. I couldn't tell you where he might be headed but if he's on his way to pick up a dead duck, it doesn't seem quite worth it to me.

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Not having duck-hunted myself, and knowing Roy, Jim, Ger, and Kev I've always assumed that it involved, more or less, shooting towards the flock of ducks, watching one of them fall from the sky, having a dog retrieve said dead duck and then resuming the party. I know Ger perhaps takes duck hunting a touch more serious than others might but to send his only begotten son off to retrieve a dead duck that fell a mile and a half away, across a bleak Martian landscape seems rather heartless to me.

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"Dad, I have to what?" "go get that dead duck" "why me?" "do you see a Golden Retreiver around?" "no" "guess what?" "I haven't had lunch yet Dad and besides when I get back I won't look like a poster boy from Field and Stream" "Son, sometimes one has to sacrifice for the good of...........whatever" "What are you going to do while I'm trudging across that vast plain on an empty stomach?" "catch a few rays" "catch a few rays?" "and keep an eye out for oncoming flocks of ducks of course"

Ger

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Is it my imagination or does Ger look unhappy in the above pic. Although he is cute when he's angry I know why he's mad. Only I would know this of course: I'm going kill Uncle Don the next time I see him. Why am I wearing these stupid clothes. Am I handsome enough honey? Let's take a break here. A question: whom want's to duck hunt with Ger, raise your hands. Justin raise your hand, your the son. Anyone else? Well Ger it's you and Justin, I'm tremendously surprised that not a soul on this earth and no species within 15 light years away want's to hunt duck with you. I'm shocked.

October 30

So it's Kev's birthday on Monday. He thinks there should be a national holiday in his honour but I explained to him that he's not quite that renowned. He was born in 1960, which brings back memories to me. Coincidentally or not, 1960 was the year that Alfred Hitchcock's film Psycho was released, in my opinion THE scariest movie of all time. And Patsy Cline released 'I Fall to Pieces', one of my favourite songs of all time. John F. Kennedy was elected president, and the Pittsburgh Pirates beat the dreaded New York Yankees which I remember as if it was yesterday.

And so Kev asked me if I remembered the day he was born. I had to say I didn't. Hello, every time I turned around their was another new arrival. "Mom?" "yes Donnie" "who's having a kid today, Marlene or Anna?" "Anna" "when is Marlene due?" "any day now" "so we've got James and Gerald, I presume they are going to call this one Kevin" "how did you guess?" "instinct, and I bet the next one will be called Julie" "what if it's a boy?" "then it will be Julius" "let's hope and pray it's a girl". "Mom, Kevin will be the youngest son and he will have to put up with two older, rambunctious brothers, will he be able to hold his own?" "I have a feeling he will". I'm afraid to do the arithmetic, I really am. Kevin is going to be forty-six? Where's the noose? Jim and Ger will be fifty in a few years? Where's the rafter to hang the noose from? Sorry, I can't allow that to happen. Bob seems to me to be about forty-two tops.

On Jim's fiftieth birthday in a few years we are going to have to do something special (no, not commit mass suicide). An outdoorsy thing. It will be spring so I'll only need to bring the woollen socks, woollen underwear, woollen scarves, and woollen mittens for you three. Kev can suppy the generator so that the heart defibulator, self-contained breathing apparatus and e.e.g. diagnostics can be administered to you guys on a moments notice. And Ger can supply the flatbed truck that is big enough to hold three wheel chairs, the above-mentioned medical equipment, a M.A.S.H. unit, an ambulance, and six cases of Ex-lax. Since it will be Jim's birthday he won't have to bring anything. And he will forget that it is his birthday anyway.

Scorpios: "one shouldn't take Scorpios lightly....there's no fluff or chatter about Scorpios...the curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable...they have keen sense of intuition...they are in the ultimate control of their destiny..some may find them overbearing and self-destructive but that is the beauty of the Scorpio..fearless, Scorpios rarely lose, they just keep on going...but they are complex and secretive....it's best not to bet against a Scorpio." I couldn't have said it better, have a great birthday Kev.

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And Kristin is going to be a Mommy any day now. I'm awaiting with bated breath receiving pics from Ger on the new arrival. If I was any more more great I'd be a stupendous uncle.

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(editor's note: uncle don thanks Kev for being a good sport and promises he will also pick on Ger and Jim on their next birthday. And anyone else that comes to mind.)

Darwin

I don't like it when Kev acts dumb. It means something is afoot if I come down there at Christmas, or he actually he is dumb. Fifty-fifty. I can do the math. And I know he not dumb. And Jim is capable of coming up with annoying things to do to me if I come down there for a week. And I haven't even mentioned Ger yet. Perhaps I made the mistake of treating them with too much respect and they will try to get back at me and do something silly. I'm thinking of Charles Darwin, imagine it: "hi Jim" "huh?" "do you have any comments on Darwin's "orgins of the species of man?" "huh?" Well let's ask Ger: "what's your take on 'the tendency of species to form varieties?"" "it's a good idea". We'll ask this cute person here, Kev is it? Do you think the "perpetuation of varieties and species" includes you three? "in which species are you talking about?" "you'm" "me'm?" "you three must be a species" "sorry, we came from Roy and Anna and they came from a distant planet in another solar system". "ah, that explains everything".

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(editor's note: uncle don knows he is going to pay for the above. He will try to stay away from Ger when Ger has a welding torch in hand)

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Little known facts about Uncle Don:

He can be crabby in the morning. Which makes no sense. Dad was happy in the morn, Mom too, Marlene, Roy and Bob , no prob. I get up 5 am and one would think by the time I arrive at work at 8 am I'd be over it. Not so.

He is a creature of habit during the work week. It must be a tremendous shock to everyone but yes I am. You could add up all the other creatures of habit in the world, multiply that by two, add a million, and you still wouldn't be a creature of habit like me.

He is afraid of doctors. True, but I'm afraid they are going to tell me I'm healthy. I couldn't take it, because I'm know I'm not and they'll think it's all in the mind. And when I kick the bucket in six or seven months they'll say: "oops, I guess I was wrong". Could happen.

He is afraid of flying. As I get older, less and less. Being in a cylinder hurtling through the air has never been my my idea of fun. I've flown in small planes of every type working for HBOG and Dome and they weren't fun either. Especially when the pilot kissed the earth when he landed.

He remembers almost everyone that has been nice to him over the years (excluding family). And that includes a Finnish chick in Majorca, Spain to a person on acid in Rocky Mtn House to someone who drove me across Canada in a VW and took me fishing on his father's boat out of Yarmouth, Nova Scotia and maybe (the most precious of all) being with homeless person's like me and living the experience. My family can debate it all they want, but it was an amazing experience.

He forgets completely who hasn't to nice to him. There has been a thousand but I can't remember one of them.





05. He remembers family.

Most people, upon reaching puberty, don't change that much over the years. Let me dispel a myth: it can happen. Now that I'm over it, I can await with glee to see how the rest of the family copes with turning sixty. Now that I'm sixty-one I'm just permanently despondent, not suicidal any more.

When one is sixty-one, one can look at the bright side of life: in the middle ages, people only lived to be forty at most. I'm looking forward to receiving my first old-age pension cheque in four years. I'm going to use it to buy a noose and hang myself from a rafter.

No one who reads this blog realizes how important letter-writing was at one time. I remember receiving letters from Mom and Marlene. And they were good writers. If anyone is wondering where I get my ability to write from, you don't have to go too far. I was so tremendously homesick in Calgary for a while there and Mom and Marlene's letters were a godsend. Same writing style and the same sentiments. So this blog is just me carrying on the tradition and hopefully writing stuff that they would approve of.

Bob

from bob: We're back on Tuesday afternoon...we're having a great time. The first week was in Poland, saw Auchwitz and Berkinow (depressing) and Kracow (very beautiful). It reminds me a bit of the 50's in Creston, not everything is paved yet, although the main roads are, and except for the vehicles, etc. People still ride bicycles quite a bit, and each town and city has a town square with shops all around, very beautiful.

And we've been in London for a few days now...saw "Les Mis" at the Queens theatre (awesome), its been playing here for 20 years. Saw Big Ben, the Pallace, the London Eye, etc. We're taking a tour bus around the city today to see anything we missed. Its raining now and then but not too bad. We're in this bed & breakfast which is very nice.

We've taken a few hundred pic's, I'll go through them when we get back and send some to you.

When Bob sends me pics you will see them to. I could be wrong but I think "my" family want's to see them to. I assume that.

Anita

If anyone wants me to be in a good mood, take a pic of Anita without me. Anita is a special person. When you are friend of Anita, you are a special friend indeed.

I presume I love the Storm family and I am one of them. We are all too busy, and Kevin thinks he his too (even though we all know isn't) . Anita has completey made me feel comfortable out there.

I couldn't feel comfortable with just anyone. I'm pretty sure Anita couldn't either. I feel comfortable with everyone but it's nice to have someone whom thinks the same as I do. Odd. Persons are probably thinking: What? I think Anita and Kev know I sat out there in the rain and couldn't force myself to go bed.

I presume I'm a fairly smart person. So I'm hoping that Bob will forgive me if I spent time at Kevin's at Christmas. Not that i'm doing it. If it happened. You've got the best family and friends in the history of mankind and so do I: Jim, Ger and Kev.

Jimmy

We can all think of a thousand stories. May I just bring up one?" "jim, I'm going to inventory something, somewhere, do you want to come?" "okay" So I had to find this remote wellhead somewhere. I thought I could make it. Of course it was raining. As my job as as inventory accountant I was well used to get used to getting stuck, but this was a challenge. Stuck, well we have to walk back. We walked for a long way and finally found a farm. I think I got Jim to go ask them if they could help us. Think the movie Deliverance. But we got this tractor to pull us out. It worked. We got the car unstuck and continued on our way and found a major highway. And then we had a flat tire and the spare tire was flat. "Jim, go knock on that door over yonder and ask them if we can use the phone to call CAA". He did and we was rebuffed. So after walking for miles and getting a pull from a tractor in the middle of nowhere, here we were standing on Highway #2 and a thousand cars going by and nobody would stop to help us. Finally someone did, but I've never been so discouraged about mankind as I was that day.

Uncle Don's top ten list of thing's he loves about Jim:

10. If one add's up the trillion pluses and the trillion minuses, Jim ends up being a plus (using creative accounting).

09. He once made me a big martini (chilled and the perfect amount of vermouth).

08. He's cute (if one is blind in one eye and can't see out of the other).

07. This is getting difficult, it was easy to do the top ten for Kev and Ger because they are tremendously annoying, but Jim is actually kind of nice, in an annoying kind of way. Okay I got it: He takes after Roy.

06. Not that that is a problem mind you: "where are we Kev and Ger?" "uncle don, we are talking to Jim and Roy, in the middle of boredom heaven" "is that a good thing?" "it is a good a good thing if you are on speed"

05. "can Jim last a day without a nap?" "are you kidding, he can't last an hour without a nap" "how does he nap at work?" " he finds ways"

04. "so I can't put anything on the blog that might annoy persons, and I love Jim, how do put it delicatley that he's boring?" "tell him he's stupid, annoying and doesn't have a brain" "Ger I can't do that, he'll be annoyed at me" "but the delicate sounds so much better then". "okay".

03. Why am I spending more time on Jim than Ger and Kev. Because I might hurt his fragile ego. Can we talk about this? You can talk to anyone in the history of the Storms/Douvilles and I don't think anyone would describe Jim as having a fragile ego. Tip: don't bring up his navy days. If you do then be prepared for hell. And if he get's talking about submarines, head for the hills.

02. I'm kidding of course Jim. We all look up to you. With respect. You can dodder too if you must.

01. Maybe Jim is the most special one of all time, maybe.

Wow

For sure everyone in Creston will recognize this picture. Ger took it during Justin's and his recent goose hunting trip. What a picture! When I first looked at it, I thought: 'that looks like geese walking along the shore there'. Of course it isn't I presume, although stranger things have happened in the Storm Clan.

Top ten things (out of order I'm sure) I love about Ger:

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10. I'm not going to be bored in his presence.

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09. He likes beer too.

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08. He's a typical virgo, angst, doubt and looks inward like crazy. That's my boy!

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07. He can sing like a lark and knows the words.

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06. He's the funniest person in the history of mankind when he's explaining to me Karri's canoe exploits and trying to talk me into canoing with her next year in the back of a van.

.05. Am I halfway there?: Ger's not perfect: Hello. He's a Storm. If one used a yardstick to measure Storm's, Ger would be on one end of it. The other end would be boredom, and that is not my thing.

.04. I feel comfortable around Ger. I don't get many opporunities to be with him and it is a special thing when I do.

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03. I'm feeling uncomfortable talking about Ger like this. Because I'm sure he would be. No he wouldn't. I'm slightly biased of course, but no, he's not bad. I wouldn't put him in the category of 'great". He's up there.

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02. He's got two of the greatest kids of history of mankind; and

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01. And he is the special of the special, maybe.

Field and Stream

This picture looks like one out of Field and Stream magazine. But it can't be, that's our Justin. Amazing, amazing pic Ger! I should just stop here and publish this without further comment.

Ha! Not much chance of that happening.

Justin looks like he just stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalogue. I had the odd idea that there was a touch of deprivation involved in goose hunting. The tent you see there is just to keep the booze hidden from the geese overhead, Ger and Justin actually slept on 20 inch thick foamies in the back of Ger's truck.

"Dad" "yes Justin?" "why do I have pose to for this picture, I wanna shoot some geese?" "be patient my son, I need the perfect light"

On writing and other things

So I'm in sitting in front of the computer and I'm poised to write something brilliant. If not brilliant, at least remotely interesting. I've got the tv on football, I'm listening to bluegrass music, my coffee is at hand, and my mind is totally and completely blank. Writer's block? I've got thinking block.

I'm looking out my window and I see my bike locked to the fence and it looks so lonely. The poor thing, it needs me to ride it. But then no writing. Now I'm looking at my guitar. It looks lonely too, it needs strumming, but then no writing. Now I see people walking around outside. They look happy, why wouldn't they be, they are outside. I need a walk, but then no writing. Now I'm looking at Ger's work of art hanging on the wall. The intricacy of it, I'm not writing.

I'm thinking of Robin's garlic crop. He planted 350 lbs. of it yesterday and he's sold most of it already. Sean and Aimee (Gail's two youngest) helped him plant the garlic. I should write an article on garlic. Unfortunately I know nothing about garlic so it would be a short one.

I seem to know a lot about everything that is boring and very little about anything that is interesting. I could write a book about biking in Toronto but everyone would doze off while reading the prologue. I could write a book about Kevin and me canoeing but if you've been in a canoe with him lately you know how boring that would be. I could write a cookbook with Jim on the art of cooking big game properly. Unfortunately he's still trying to find some. I could write about Roy and his naps, but I'd fall asleep.

I almost never get nostalgic, but I do look back with fondness on my first ski trip, to Sunshine Village with family. "Okay Uncle Don you'll be okay, you've got Roy and Leo on either side of you on this triple chair, you won't get hurt". "Okay". I ended up being okay except I sent both Roy and Leo off into a snowbank when we got off the chair. At that point in time it was every man for himself and I guess I needed a lot of elbow room. Gail and Julie were the only ones who had enough patience to get me down the Strawberry run.

The above isn't a pic of my bike although I can see the benefits of having one like it. The uzi would definitely come in handy. Did anyone watch the Loafs and Flames last night? Boy did Mats look good. I did not know that he has scored more OT goals than anyone else. I took the time to e-mail the Edmonton Eskimo front office to give condolences to them for missing the playoffs for the first time in gawd knows how long. I actually remember Hugh Campbell playing football. And I went to Stampede Wrestling. To see Sweet Daddy Siki. I enjoyed it completely. I also remember sitting in The Highlander with Glen Higa, Ken, and Bob Fujino.

But it's impossible for a person to be treated any better than from Jim and Ger on a canoe trip. I try not to think about it, and Justin, and Colin. And everyone. Anita, Karri-women, Brenda. Ty. Jen, Shawna. You will note that Kev's name is missing. He doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve. I have some theories on this:

Uncle Don's Top Ten Theories on Kev:

10. He thinks he should be #1 which isn't going to happen when I'm around.

09. Other than him being able to tally dart scores, I can't see why he exists.

08. He loves to hide under Justin's truck at least once a year.

07. He gets every quip I say and that is not an easy thing to do. One has to be really strange to do that.

06. His renowned reputation of hatred towards cats is unfounded. He loves cats as long as they don't do anything.

05. His kneecaps should be put in a hall of fame. And his legs. Hello.

04. He could be smarter than all of us put together (and so could Ger). I have really intelligent relatives. And Julie. And everyone, amazing really.

03. Well maybe not. I didn't start out this blog way back when using the Beverly Hillbillies as examples for no reason.

02. If he going is going to want to canoe with me, he'd better crank it up. I know we went where others didn't go. That is not even close to being enough.

01. The Storms/Douvilles are special. I think Kev is special among the special. Maybe.

The Uncle Don brain

I wrote this: "I'm thinking at the moment. Possibly Kev is the only person I would phone from across Canada to try cheer up. Everyone thinks they can do is job. I know this, I've never seen a more intelligent person. If I know Kevin, everything is completely under control. And when I see Ger. I see complete brilliance". I don't mean it. Are you kidding?

First of all, I phoned Kev at work because it doesn't cost me dime and so why not and as regards Ger's brilliance: he's cute, he's loud, and he is annoying. Brilliant he isn't. He might be, I hope I didn't let the cat out of the bag.

I have a tip for future uncle's: Do not go anywhere near Jim, Ger and Kev. You will be ignored completely and if you have a brain, try to keep it hidden because it will be compleletly useless around them.

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For those Storm/Douvilles that have one (the majority of us), the pic denotes the parts of brain that are important. So if any one of us goes crazy we'll have a name for it. My personal favourite is the temporal lobe. That's where my sudden urges to hug nieces comes from. And don't forget the occipital lobe. That where I get the impulsive urge to kill Kev and rid mankind of an annoying person.

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The Primary Visual Area of my brain is not that great. It's not bad, but I presume that's where I get the urge to carry a chainsaw and look for persons to decapitate. Thank goodness my visual area isn't that great.

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But I've got the Somatic Sensory Cortex to fall back on. "Ah" i say. My spandex goes good with my Cortex. They have to match or there could be problems.

And finally there is the Frontal Lobe. That is where my love of family comes from. That is my favourite lobe.

the neighbourhood

Once in a great while a do attend a neighbourhood event. Last weekend the 99th Great Sackville/Wellesley Fall Fair and Dog Show was held. It wasn't my idea but the neighbour asked me if I would judge the pickles. I mentioned to him that I knew nothing about pickles other than they came from cucumbers. "they do? well then you are an expert, be at Riverside Park at noon tomorrow"

I live in an up-scale neighbourhood so I assumed pickles wouldn't be too important in the scheme of things. In fact I presumed their would one or two pickles, or maybe three, I would have to judge. So I was taken somewhat aback when I walked into the park and saw a sign on the biggest tent which read: The Pickle Palace. Oh oh.

I meekly walked up to someone sitting behind a table and said: "I'm the pickle judge". "whom?" "the pickle judge". "do you have credentials?" "er, no my neighbour asked me to show up at this time and judge the pickles". "what do you know pickles?" "they were once cucumbers and they come in jars?" "ah you are an expert, here's your judge badge, and the mickey of vodka you will need to get through it ". "I don't need a mickey of vodka" "trust me, just trust me you will".

I love a slice of pickle with my grilled cheese sandwich. And perhaps with a hamburger. Booth #1: :Ah, you have pickles, where are they from?" "my balcony" "ah, you haven't travelled a long a way" "let me taste one, mmh, very good" Booth #2: "how are you?" "my pickles are peppered" "peppered?" "your local?" "no I'm from Pitquane" "so you have Pitquane pickled peppers?" "they will knock your socks off" "I"m sure, I'll taste one". Booth #3: "are these pickled peppers? "no, these are peppered pickles". "by the way what is the difference between a pickled pepper and a peppered pickle?" "I have no idea but taste one, you are the judge" (vodka drink #1). Booth #4: "why are these called potent peppered pickles?" "because my pappy pete picked them" "that doesn't explain the potent" "taste them" (hork, cough, cough, vodka drink #2) Booth #5: "ah petite petter pickers" "no these are small peckered pickles, judge, taste one" "ah delicate but yet poignant" "aren't they, they are pickled testicle's of porcupines" (hack, hork, cough, barf, vodka slurp #3) Booth #6: "do you have a pickle, I love pickles, I'd date a pickle" "I have pickles" "these are petite pickles" " "I have a sudden urge to eat, can I eat them all and give you the blue ribbon?" "aren't they good, they are petite pickled penguins pads (Vodka finish it up #4). "who are you?" "Patricia" "do you have a drink Patricia?" "no but I have a pickle" "you win"

Mondays

I actually got a chuckle out of Kev this morn at 7:30 am (your time). He works Saturday. Poor baby.

For me it's a constant dread of Monday mornings. So almost all the time I don't bother. I've worked more monday's than almost anyone. I'm proud of that. When I do work Monday's this is how look.

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Editors note: Uncle Don has got up many Monday's and just couldn't do it. He has the worst job in the history of mankind and on Monday's it just doesn't work.

Hmm

I know Roy is The Great, Great, Grand Poobah Of All Time and he is proving it. He's met another Marge. And they are in Penticton having fun presumably. Kind of odd, at this moment Roy is in Penticton, Bob is in Poland and I am in Toronto.

That is being apart geographically for sure. Were any three boys so different? Not many. But maybe because I'm the middle one, I can enjoy seeing and relish them from afar and know that their lives are going well.

I guess we are getting up to be old men now but I don't think one of us thinks we are. Not even close. Not even close. We won't be taken away lightly.

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Editor's note: Uncle Don also thinks that the dodo bird is still alive and kicking.

The weather in Toronto

For some reason, Toronto has only two seasons: hot and cold. I biked to work today and the temperature was +1 and there was a howling breeze. Against me of course. I've never quite figured it out but in the morning the wind is coming from the West into my face and then sometime during the day it always changes direction and comes from the East when I'm biking home. Hank Williams wrote a song about my day today I believe:

Hear that lonesome whipper-wind
It's going to make me fly
The whining wind is gearing up
I'm so cold that I could die

I've never seen a wind so strong
When I can only crawl
The sun just went behind the cloud
To hide it's face and cry

Did you ever hear an uncle weep
When the wind begins to rise
That means I've lost the will to live
I'm so cold that I could die

The swiftness of the rising wind
freezes up my ruddy cheeks
As I wonder how long I've got
Before I lay down and die.

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Editor's note: not many persons combine Hank Williams and the weather in the same blog posting. Uncle Don does apologize to all Hank William's' fans and to all the %#%^$$^ weathermen/women across the country.

Uncle don's top ten trite sayings

I hope I don't sound too cynical below but being a virgo and being angst-ridden I'm sure you will all forgive me.

10. "you only live once". I actually used this not that long ago on someone. They felt better for two and a half seconds.

09. "a bird in hand is better than two in the bush". If it's pigeons I'll take two in the bush anytime.

08. "save it for a rainy day". Some persons latch onto that concept. I'm not one of them.

07. "sticks and stones can break my bones.....". Wouldst it be that simple. Words can be a lot more painful.

06. "giving is better than receiving". Well, if I had to choose one, I'd pick receiving.

05. "nothing ventured, nothing gained". Hello. Isn't that fairly obvious to anyone with half a brain.

04. "the early bird get's the worm". Personally, I haven't developed a taste for worms yet so I'll let the early birds have them.

03. "where there is a will there a way". I'd like to kill the person who came up with this saying. One needs a lotta luck and determination and will. None of which I particularly have.

02. "a friend in need is a friend indeed". This makes a little sense.

01. "absence makes the heart grown fonder". Amen

Nice

I hope there is a writer in one of the new Storms. Has anywone noticed but me that all new Storm baby's appear completely shocked when they are little. Except in Ger's case. We were all shocked at him. Ta da.

Hey

It is not a bad thing to care about family. 99.99% of the time I'm ignored but it is that .01% of the time I live for. The Storm's/Douville's are completely special. Odd but special. Bob and Lorraine are off to England and Poland on Tuesday for two weeks. I'm pretty sure no one realizes how hard I work on weekends to make a dollar or two on writing and so the Storm blog is a good change for me.

Kevin will hate this but I consider him one of the great persons of all time. Other than morning and lunch and pretty well all the time before and after. The poor baby. Hello: "we have to be quiet during lunch hour because Kev's home and he needs his soup and nap" Hello, the rest of world doesn't need a soup and nap, why does he? Because he is feeding the pigs. He doesn't have any pigs. I know Uncle Don but he has to feed them.

"What else is ascue with Kev neet?" "He likes to get up naked and eat at 3 am" "thus the soup and nap later on in the day?" "yes" "it would be so easy to smother him in his sleep wouldn't it, especially around 12:15"

And Kevin writes down our score before we throw the darts. That annoys me. If one has any sense of rules, do not go to Kevins. Cribbage should not be tinkered with but he does. Although I'm not very good at card games. I think I have a brain but apparently not when it comes card games. But thank God Kevin adapts to my low level of thinking: "yes uncle don you can play that card but try to remember this is darts we are playing". And it is nice to see Ger and Justin together. I'm not sure if anyone appreciates them as much as me. Of course anyone that does 'get' them is loony and crazy and mixed-up and should be put away for 25 years minimum. And should have their head examined.

I talked to Anita on Friday. She said something that made my head spin. I have dreams and maybe some of them will come true. I actually blubbered (hopefully I hid it well) when I was on the canoe trip because I was so happy to be around family. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to have a Storm/Douville reunion although I woudn't survive, I'd have to be carried off in a stretcher. Think about it: me surrounded by Donna, Gail, Laurie, Robin and Neil and Leo, and Bob and Lorraine and Dawn and Craig and Derek and Jim, Ger, Julie, Kevin and Roy. And Colin, Ty, Justin, and Kristin and all the rest of the family. And if one thinks about it, if everyone showed up, that would be quite a crowd. I talked to Leo on Friday and he cheered me up so much.

I really like to be off the radar screen in life but I find it so difficult to do so when it comes to family. I imagine you all know that by now. I like my beer, I like my biking, I like my family, and above all I like writing.

Neil

This is Kara. Isn't she cute.

I certainly have probs with Neil. He's okay but really he's not that great. I personally wouldn't tell anyone that he is great. I'm not sure Neil is even okay. With a lot of self-improvement Neil could attain okay status. But he's got to work on his mustache. It needs work.

Bob's mustache is not bad, Ger's is plausible. Uncle Don's is just coming into it's own. But the Storm/Douville handbook does say that the youngest male child must have a mustache so it's not really Neil's fault.

Has anyone else noticed that communication with Kev is better face-to-face? And even then it's not good. If you can't see him at all it's perfect. I was thinking next year I should be in the back of the canoe due to being much smarter and being able to take him down treacherous waters. But then I would have to see him. Front is good.

So this is the opening salvo (and I kind of wish I was kidding): of course I'll enjoy the family and the party. If anyone wants to go on a whitewater weekend sign me me up.

Not to say I don't enjoy the Moyie, having the family together is good (especially when Kev hides and Justin and Col drive off in a fit and everyone gets annoyed, it's all a rerun to me). And really to put Karri-man and Loretta down. I personally liked what they brought out. I think they get it more than us.

But that's us, I wouldn't have it any other way. It's all perfect to me. Completely. But I remember one time I was taking inventory west of Caroline Alberta at about six in the morning. And I saw a deer just when the sun was arising. I turned the radio off and watched and listened for about an hour.

When I am at Kev's and Anita's that is the way I feel. I feel at home.

Yay

One knows when things are happening when I talk to Leo. What a delight that was. I hope Leo won't mind me mentioning that him and Carol are moving into a lovely place overlooking the valley. This weekend he is moving with Robin's help and the whole family I'm sure. And I also promised Leo that when I'm down there next I will see him. I will do that.

A post mortem

"psst, Dad I didn't know deer could climb trees". "Neither did Uncle Jim obviously". "I thought Uncle Jim was the 'great white hunter'". "He is when he hunts alone".

"So Dad we are hiding behind this bush and the deer is looking at us for assistance". "It is a quandry isn't it?" "Dad, that is the ugliest-looking deer I've ever seen, maybe we should shoot it". "True but then it would fall on Uncle Jim and his ego would be bruised". "Only his ego" "mainly".

"What's Uncle Jim looking at Dad?" "Lunch, he's worried about a possum eating his cabbage rolls, beaf stew and chicken pot pies" "Dad, we have eaten pretty good haven't we" "Oh yeah, walk over slowly to the campfire, stir the stew and complain about the taste, Uncle Jim will come running".

The Toronto Maple Loafs

It's going to be a looong season for the Leafs. The Sens beat the Leafs on opening night 4-1. Is it too early to worry? Nah.

Yay

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble, Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.

Always look on the light side of life.
if life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life,
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin. Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.So,
...Always look on the bright side of death,
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...Always look on the bright side of life.

Kevin

I sometimes thinks its just me whom would like to kill Kev. Apparently not:

"I may have to kill kevin while we are out there cause you and i both know he is going to do something to deserve it, so if and when you hear from me again it may be kevins funeral, it may be a slow and agonizing death just for my pleasure, so take care and talk at ya later, james"

I feel so much better now. Even his brother has these sudden urges. I thought it was last week they were going hunting but I guess it's this week. For me, burying Kev's body would be the highlight of my life. I think I'm kidding. I think I am. I must be kidding. Aren't I?

More kneecaps

I have to get in the running for the Kneecap of the Year Award so here is mine. The deadline for entries is October 31st. The front runners at the moment are Donna and Bob with Leo and Roy tied for a distant third.

Knees

Now of course Leo is showing off his kneecaps. I don't know what it is about the Storm/Douville family. Ooh and so are Donna and Gail. Donna is being a little more blatant about it.

Hello

I'm so glad there is a two and three hour time difference between here and Alberta and B.C. I woke up early and was drinking coffee and couldn't think anything remotely nice to say about my relatives. So I wrote that you were all kinda cute but annoying, brain-dead, and wouldn't have a clue about life. But as I was unlocking my bike to go out and about I realized I was wrong. I rushed up to the computer and deleted the "kinda cute".

Ta da.

Flowers

I like flowers. Tomorrow is October 1. Goodbye flowers, fun and frivolity. The only highlight I can see this month is Thanksgiving Day. Oh and Kevin's birthday. If I had to choose a number representing how old he is going to be I would pick 17, which means Bob would be about 22, Neil would be 16 and I would be 29.

I don't know why I think of a Elvis bobbing head doll when I think of Kevin. If at all possible, try to make his life hell on his birthday. If one person could do that I would bestow on him/her the Medal of Achievement For Making Kevin's Life Hell, which I just I had minted.

Jen

I think everyone should meet her. I really do. She lost her baby and so Kev won't be a grandfather quite yet.

But she is my hero.

My field of dreams

I loved the story and movie of A Field of Dreams. Who wouldn't. In a corn field. This picture could be Jacques Plante and Gump Worseley in goal with Rocket Richard, Turk Broda, Eddie Shore, Doug Bentley, and Lester Patrick playing. I'm thinking it could be.

editor's note: I'm thinking I'll be writing a column on this pic as soon as I get my head around what I want to say. Obviously with the mountains in the background the Storm/Douvilles will be in the picture. And none of it will be true. I don't think. We will see.

From the latest Hockey News

2006-07 Vancouver Canucks Preview
By Matt Canamucio, NHL Editor

The Vancouver Canucks had a glaring need, and they took care of it.

The night before the NHL Entry Draft, Canucks GM Dave Nonis pulled the trigger on a deal that acquired goaltender Roberto Luongo and defenseman Lukas Krajicek from Florida in exchange for controversial winger Todd Bertuzzi, goaltender Alex Auld and defenseman Bryan Allen.

The Canucks' issues in net appear to be over for the time being, as Luongo then signed a four-year, $27 million contract with the club.

In getting Luongo, Vancouver didn't just make a feeble attempt to fix the netminding issues. The club acquired a guy who is one of the few goalies in the NHL you can truly call elite.

In dealing Bertuzzi, the Canucks, while they lost a tremendous offensive weapon, did themselves and the player a favor by separating from the distraction that still lingered from something that happened 2 1/2 years ago.

Of course, the moves hardly ended with this trade. Head coach Marc Crawford was replaced by Alain Vigneault, defenseman Ed Jovanovski and winger Anson Carter left via free agency and a number of other players were replaced.

A season ago the Canucks finished with 92 points, but failed to make the playoffs in the highly-competitive Western Conference. The team was slammed by injuries, especially on defense, and that ultimately proved to be what kept it out of the postseason.

Now, the roster has been shaken up and 05-06 is history. The goaltending upgrade was made at the offense's expense, so it's now a matter if that formula can work or not.

FORWARDS - Bertuzzi's departure leaves a gaping hole on the right side of the top line, but captain Markus Naslund still skates on the left side. Naslund and Bertuzzi developed quite a chemistry in recent years, at one point forming the league's most dangerous duo. Naslund has tallied at least 30 goals in each of the last five seasons, but hasn't reached 40 since bagging 48 in 2002-03. Can he get back to being a 100-point player without a physical force like Bertuzzi on his line?

Playmaker Brendan Morrison has been the resident center on the top line, and he is typically good for between 35 and 45 assists per year. As for who will replace Bertuzzi on the right side, it looks like it will be feisty agitator Matt Cooke. Cooke has been a third-line guy who scores goals in the teens, but he did fill in for Bertuzzi when he was suspended for his attack on Steve Moore back in 2004.

Twins Daniel and Henrik Sedin both finally broke out of their shells with 70- point seasons last year, and they will again anchor the second line. The hope is that newcomer Jan Bulis, who scored 20 goals for Montreal last season, can be consistent enough to be their regular right wing.

Keep an eye on former first-round pick Ryan Kesler, who was signed to an offer sheet by Philadelphia this summer. The Canucks matched the one-year, $1.9 million deal and re-signed him. Kesler was a 30-goal guy in the AHL during the lockout, but managed only 10 tallies and 13 assists in 82 games for the Canucks last season.

DEFENSE - With Jovanovski gone the team lost a bona fied anchor. Nonis signed the hard-hitting Willie Mitchell during free agency, and Mattias Ohlund and Sami Salo return.

Overall, this is a very thin group, which would spell disaster if injuries hit like they did last season. Last March, Nonis was forced to obtain players like Keith Carney, Sean Brown and Eric Weinrich, and none of them are back.

An x-factor in this group is Krajicek, who was a first-round pick back in 2001. He has been pegged for stardom since that time, but hasn't lived up to the billing. The flash and skill he showed as a junior player hasn't revealed itself on the NHL level, and last season was his first as somewhat of a regular player. In 67 games for the Panthers in 05-06 he managed two goals and 14 assists and was a plus-1.

GOALTENDING - Luongo is coming from a situation in Florida where he was peppered with around 35 shots -- or more -- on a regular basis. In 75 games last season he finished 35-30-9 with a 2.97 goals-against average and .914 save percentage.

Even with the losses of key defensemen, it's very doubtful that Luongo will see as many pucks as he did with the Panthers.

If he stays healthy, which has never been a problem, Luongo should post another 65-70-appearance season. Mika Noronen, who was acquired from Buffalo at the trade deadline, decided to play overseas instead of being a rarely-used backup, so veteran Wade Flaherty will likely be the understudy.

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE - The Canucks turned over a decent portion of their roster, but will it work? Luongo was the upgrade of all upgrades, but, as he proved in Florida a stud goaltender cannot carry a team to the playoffs all by himself.

Now, instead of having questions in goal the team has questions up front and on defense. How those questions are answered will determine whether or not the Canucks will again be outside the playoff field, or whether they can squeeze in as a seventh or eighth seed.

Hi

Thank you all for reading this blog. I must say I'm impressed that you would take the time. I do a lot of deleting because I get carried away. But when an uncle has a wierd mind and relatives like you it's tough not to get carried away. Every one of you is special to me. I've got two brothers and one brother-in-law who are the greatest persons in the history of mankind and nine nephews and nieces whom are hmm, what is the word, unique. Kevin could be slightly more unique than anyone else on this planet but I shouldn't single him out. And I'm pretty sure you all would agree with me.

Take care and have a good week everyone. Life is short so make the best of it. When I bike to work in the morn I will be thinking of each and every one of you. That makes my day.

The Ryder Cup

Darren Clarke lost his wife to cancer a short time ago. Watching the Europeans win the cup and seeing Mr. Clarke crying on his caddy's shoulder was heartwarming to say the least.

I worry

I'm not terribly impressed with Jim, Kevin and Colin going hunting for a week but I would assume there will be a few laughs had during that week. As long as there is no wildlife killed then how bad can it be? If there is don't tell me. In fact if Kev actually killed something I wouldn't talk to him for 25 years. Jim, well he still has that hunter instinct. The Neanderthals had it and it's tough to let it go I guess. And why Colin is going hunting I'm not sure. Colin is going to kill something? If he accidently did, I wouldn't talk to him for a hundred years (if he lives that long).

But I shouldn't worry. Hello. I should probably worry more about them accidently killing each other. I presume Kevin will be naked for the week and out hunting at 3am. I've never seen him carry a gun with clothes on in the daylight, I hope it isn't too nippy. I shouldn't worry too much though, Jim's e-mail to me:

"Actually it is kevin, colin and I hunting for a week, next week actually. Staying in a travel trailer, hot tub, granny made up cabbage rolls, beef stew, chicken pot pies, etc, should be good!"

Let's get together here: remember the days when Jim would go out alone and spend 12 days sitting in one spot while waiting for a deer to appear? And now he's got a hot tub, travel trailer and cabbage rolls? What happened to our fearless hunter? I'm an old fashioned person and a hunting trip should entail a little bit of deprivation. But not with Jim anymore apparently. If I ever cross the Gobi Desert I want Jim with me. I assume by the end of the week the deer will be in the hot tub and the three muskateers will be lost somewhere in the woods.

If I ever go on a hunting trip there are two persons whom I wouldn't want with me: Kevin and Colin. One can assume that the wildlife are dancing around and clapping their hooves with glee knowing those two persons are on the way to their forest.

The week from Colin's perspective:

Day one: "Gee Dad this is fun, when do we get to leave?" "Shaddup and keep loading the gear. How many rocket launchers have you uncrated?" "one" "throw it in the trunk" "then there will be no room for the Wiser's". "forget the rocket launcher, the grenade launcher will have to do, did you remember our swimming trunks for the hot tub, and don't forget the sour cream for the cabbage rolls, and above all don't forget the wine glasses, oh yeah and the camoflauge outerwear and your Bud" "I think I'm going to have fun roughing it Dad and to think we are going hunting with a famous hunter like Uncle Jim" "exactly, have we got room for an E-Z Boy?"

Day two: "Dad?" "yes" "I don't see Uncle Jim, it's 5am, can he be out hunting already?" "possibly, he does like to reconoiter" "Dad isn't that a nice deer over there, a six pointer I would say, why is he not afraid of us?" "he knows we aren't going to shoot him, but if that was a cat I could shoot it" "we are on a deer hunting trip aren't we Dad?" "yes" "that is a deer" "true" "but we aren't going to shoot it?" "are you crazy or something?" "I'm confused"

Day three: "Dad?" "yes" Uncle Jim has been sitting behind that bush since we told him Chuck the Six Pointer was in camp and he hasn't moved since" "ignore him, turn up the temp on the hot tub and pass me another chicken pot pie" "what if Chuck appears and Jim shoots him?" "what are the chances of that?" "remote"

Day four: "Dad" "yes" "do you like eating deer?" "no, it's too gamey for me" "Chuck agrees with you" "where is he by the way I haven't seen Chuck or Jim for a few days" "I'm not sure, Uncle Jim said something about tracking spoors and Chuck has gone to the high country for a few days to visit his friends, the bighorn sheep" "I miss Chuck"

Day five: "Dad" "yes" "I think we have to hunt for Uncle Jim" "we are parked in a paved parking lot for gawds sakes, six miles from Cranbrook, no one can get lost, he'll show up, the Wiser's is running low, maybe we should visit Brenda, Jim will never notice we are gone, he's got the spoor thing to worry about"

Last day: "Dad" "yes" "we gotta do this next year, we'll invite Uncle Don" "Uncle Don doesn't do hunting" "aah, well, I forgot about that"

The Classic Series

Some pictures need to be posted more than once. These are only a few of them. I could not survive without Ger, Julie, Bob, Rob, and Neil sending me pictures. And Ger is a virgo. He understands me completely. I must admit that I am up there in oddness. I have to temper my brain for public consumption but I know whatever I write, Ger will get it. That is the highest compliment I can give to a person.

Thank you

Yay

I haven't been feeling up to par, but I really appreciate everyone looking at the blog. The Douvilles are winning the race as far as pictures go but it's close. If Ger sends some soon then it's tied. I know it takes some effort to send pictures so I feel honoured. Neil sent some great ones, some of which I've posted and more to come. This is an e-mail which I think is beautiful:

'New Denver was great! We went the night before and stayed at a B & B - very quiet old, big farmhouse. The garlic fest was extremely busy with about 7,000 people thru the gates. We sold just under 400 lbs of garlic and even a few onions. We are now into hockey season - Karen and I have both started playing with our teams. Marcel on the midget rep team for his last year, and he's also playing on the school volleyball team. They won their first tourny of the year last weekend here. Nice to see him play well. Next year at this time we'll be empty-nesters. Hard to believe. Colleen is in Regina this weekend at a big college tourny'.

I tend to think of Marlene and Anna and them telling me how difficult it was to see the last one go. Can anyone imagine Gail leaving home? Well, I would have killed myself. And Julie? I couldn't survive.

I certainly will regret it when the Canucks lose this year. We've got Roy, Kev, Col and Robin to consider, and dear departed Max. But I'm cheering for the Maple Loafs. I know I'm a softie and can be cajoled into almost anything by my nephews, but I will not switch allegiance.

I just want to say a special hello to Anita and Ty. Good people.

The Family

For me this could be the greatest picture in the history of mankind. I look at the kids and see the Douville and Storm family. And Gail is showing off her kneecaps. And Karen too.

It must run in the family. I'm thinking of Bob's kneecaps, but perhaps he's been outdone.

Thank you Robin, great pic. Colleen is in Regina this weekend at a volleyball tourny.

Hi Kev

It looks like the Europeans will win. Many golf writers predicted the U.S. would win. I know we didn't, the Europeans have the heart and soul and the Americans don't. Maybe this is obvious but any golfer playing against an American is going to focus.

Imagine (thanks John)

Imagine there's no heaven

Or no hell below

above only sky

Imagine there's no countries

Or no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living a life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer

Imagine a world with no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger, a Brotherhood of Man