Saturday, June 17, 2006

surviving toronto's heat and humidity

I enjoy the heat and humidity of the Toronto summers. (to be continued when I have enough energy to actually write something when I'm not sweating my ass off).

By the way I'm above it all. But Jim and Ger continue to ignore me. It's beyond me what they are trying to accomplish. I'll kill Jim and his accomplice Ger. I thought I was their favourite uncle but they must have dredged up another one from somewhere and they are probably showering their love and devotion on him now. I rue the day I changed their diapers when I was babysitting them a long, long time ago. Although I may not have, I can't imagine me doing something like that.

I wasn't a bad uncle. Neither one of them could have survived without me. When they were little they really were bohunks (in the nicest sense of the word). Although cute, Jimmy really was annoying when he was a child. And Ger: he may not have been cute, but he made up for it in heft. I've seen smaller elephants. As a child, Jim was devious. Actually so was Ger come to think of it. And that was the good thing about them.

I won't catch the plane. I did once swear that I'll get back at them. Maybe I will catch the plane and pretend I'm not there. The top ten reasons why Jim and Ger are ignoring me:

10. They have nothing better to do.

09. After Brenda drove me to the airport last year, she was hoping that it would be the last time she saw me.

08. I wasn't sincere enough about how nice Anita's flowers are.

07. I should have been more animated about Karri's gravy.

06. Jimmy hasn't bagged a moose for years so he's taking it out on me.

05. Ger hasn't got over the idea that I might be slightly smarter than him.

04. 'my' family in general are all too busy to care.

03. I'm annoying.

02. They are annoying.

01. I'm disruptive of their lives. I've only just begun baby's. Whether it is with Jim, Ger and Kev or Julie or not. If my health will allow me, I'm gonna 'kick ass'. Get used to it. And don't underestimate me, don't ever do that.

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