This is an amazing picture. I took this one I think (obviously). Down at the farm. One can sure tell Dawn is Bob's daughter in this picture.

Dad

Pretty classy looking guy to me. Of course I'm slightly biased. I don't think the world will ever see me and Bob putting Dad down. He had his faults of course. He might have been slightly cheap. We had to share tv dinners. And we may have had the worst lunch in the world when we went to school (toast with peanut butter). And we won't talk about his snuff. And he read the paper from front to back but yet he never talked about current events. He loved being in a car and watching the scenery go by.

And mom who was totally different. And they had a child every four or five years or so. Me and Bob could have had the strangest upbringing in the history of mankind. When we were down at the 'farm' we had to walk miles just to get to the nearest school bus stop. We must have loved Mom dearly. And it was tough on me because sometimes I didn't know where Bob was. It was confusing. I worried. Someone had to.

I'm not sure where my angst-ridden self comes from. I might have been adopted. In Pincher Creek it's easy to mix up babies: "Mrs. Storm, we have this child whom is threatening to jump off the hospital roof, would you take him?" "is he cute?" "a little" "is he pink?" "yes" "why is he threatening to jump?" "his pablum wasn't room temperature." "that's a problem?" "he thinks so".

Bobby

I talked to Bob on the phone last night. I asked him whom the baby was and he said it's got 'Bobby' written on the back of the picture. I imagine it does.

Note the forehead. There may have been cuter children in the world at that time but I can't imagine how that is possible. There was a lineup to spoil him. Marlene and Anna were particularly bad. They didn't mind me either. The mothering instincts of those two were quite evident.

"Anna is pregnant" "I hope to gawd it's a girl" "no, it's Jim" "whom?" "Jim" "Marlene is pregnant" "it's a boy right?" "no, it's Laurie" "she is fairly cute" "fairly?" "amazingly"

We forgave Marlene and Anna until Neil and Kevin were born: "cute aren't they, why are they eyeing me with that evil stare? these two persons may not turn out well. Can we drown them and get on with life?" "they are slightly cute Uncle Don" "I suppose, but note the satanic aura around them, I can dectect me being annoyed at them quite readily, they won't amount to much, in fact they may turn out to be serial killers" "Neil and Kevin?" "it could happen, the good ones are often the bad ones although there are exceptions" "they are pink and cute, how can you tell that they might be serial killers when they are still in diapers?" "I have this anate sense" "of what" "doom"

In this picture, Dad looks like the only normal person. And at least if Bob combed his hair different and took off those glasses he would almost look normal (and be the spitting image of Neil). But the person on the right is beyond help. No wonder stray cats and miscreants didn't mind him. He's not great at coping with five days off, hopefully he'll never be allowed to retire. He broke his coffee percolator on Friday and walked through rain and sleet in the darkness to the nearest Home Hardware to buy a new one. He's cold and wet and thinking: "this is better than being at work" And of course when he gets back from buying a Black and Decker "Brew N'Go" coffee maker he doesn't read the fine print: 'even if you are the stupidest person in the history of mankind, you will remove all stickers and packing material'. He didn't and it was not a tasty first cup of coffee.

Coffee is important to me. I'm not a tea person. Believe it or not I bought some herbal tea. I'm thinking no caffeine, I'll sleep better. I bought the Rosehip and Hibiscus Flowers herbal tea. Not only did I not sleep better I had the bitter taste of herbs in my mouth throughout the night. So I gave that up. I don't know why I periodically think I should improve my lifestyle. This bod of mine is beyond repair but I never give up hope. So I haven't biked for a while now. I can see old age creeping in. Not really. I'm worried that I still feel good. I don't take feeling good for granted, it's a slippery slope between feeling okay and not feeling okay. Feeling okay is better. I pulled a muscle in my back a while back. I'm over it now but it sure gave me empathy towards Bob and Ger: "don you can't sleep in the fetal position for a while" "but I like it" "not only that, you have to sleep on your back" "and whenever you move your screams will wake the neighbourhood". I survived but it was hell. I don't know if anyone cares but my bed is surrounded by books. I have seven or eight books (a conservative estimate) on the go and sixteen or seventeen New Yorker magazine articles in the midst of being read.

I'm weird. I look forward to going to bed. I read a sentence (if I'm lucky) and I fall asleep. I have read a full paragraph but it doesn't happen often. But of course I wake up every two hours so I do have time to read. I used to fret about my sleeping habits but not any more. I've been this way since I was born so why bother. Of course my sleeping habits changed once. I visited Kev and Anita once and they confined me to a camper. I wasn't allowed to sleep in the house itself. Thank gawd I brought my guitar with me, on a bus across Canada, with two earaches. It was a cultural shock and a painful one. But anyway I slept so good and I don't think I got up before noon once. And I got to see Colin and Tyler. I don't mind them. They could be my favourite persons. Everyone is my favourite persons but they aren't bad.

Except Kevin. He is annoying. If I ever move out there, he has got to go. I don't do the 'walk softly around Kevin thing'. Hello. 'Kevin will be home for lunch at any moment, we have to be quiet' Hello. May I expound? First of all he's got the easiest job in the history of mankind. And if he drank too much the night before, too bad. So he's cute. Big deal. When I move out there his life will change drastically: I'm using this couch and your soup isn't ready and I've hogtied Anita so she can't wait on you hand and foot. In fact I may kill you. Is that a prob? "no grilled cheese sandwich?""nope" "no campbells tomato soup" "nope" "no couch to have a nap on?" "nil" And when I was out there a few years ago I contributed to his being spoiled. I made him a ham and cheese sandwich which I took great care to make while Anita was working: 'how is it?' 'not bad' 'it's not great?' 'not bad' 'do you like intense pain because I'm going to stab you".

And Kev knows how to ruin my weekend: so you write only when you have beer in hand? He actually said you are a drunk and you can't write without a beer in hand. Maybe. I don't think so. I just have so much in my mind that has to get out and having a beer helps. And I have such a good time, I don't know how anyone can put me down for that. My physical life is not that great but I think perhaps you could all take a page from my book and it wouldn't be a bad thing. I have the genes of Dad and Mom in me and I think that is greatest thing in the history of mankind. We all do. Not a family member can tell me they don't feel special. We are special.

Mom

I remember this picture being taken. Still working, always working. I remember it as if it was yesterday. Down in Goat River Bottom. She had to nap so she could get back to work for the next shift. Although not in the picture, there is a blue 1958 Chevrolet Impala not far away. Me and Bob kind of loved Mom. When one has been loved by Mom, one has been loved by the best. The numero uno. Although Grandma Darling was amazing. And Marlene was unbelievable. The three of them were on a par. Watch them with children. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

Mom was the nicest person in the history of mankind. I wish I could tell you why. Some things are obvious. Honest to gawd it was tough on us. And Bob was the youngest child. To my recollection we never saw Mom that much. She was always working. But she gave me 15 cents every day in the summer to swim. She knew that was my passion. Me and Bob actually fought a lot as brothers do. We survived. I remember when Roy and Anna got married. I wanted to so bad go down for there wedding. It was tough time for me. And Gordie Wilson. And Terry, and Donna Mae. Good people. I presume they are dead by now but they sure made my life better. And Della. I enjoyed going to the Jehovah Witness gatherings. Not for a moment did I think that my soul was being saved and never will. Probably some persons like George Bush and Stephen Harper. This is where me and Bob aren't quite in sync. I don't get religion and I don't want to. Not my cup of tea to say the least. For those whom think it a is cure-all it is good thing. I don't get it but that not so bad. I'm not perfect.

Wow

That is Erling Adlebert Darling with the hat. Uncle Bert was pretty good. I do not remember seeing this picture in my life before. That is Marlene. I presume that is me and Bob. That is Nelda standing in front of Marlene. She was wierd, but okay. And as Bob has correctly pointed out, my britches were hitched pretty high. I remember thinking: I'm a nerd, I might as well look like one. I remember that tricycle. This picture of course puts to rest why Bob was spoiled. The cutest kid in the history of mankind. Even then I was thinking: "this is too idyllic, a bolt of lightning should hit us at any moment, where's my bike?, I have a headache, does anyone care?, I'm gonna climb the tallest tree and jump off it"

Uncle Don

I actually like that haircut. Those glasses have got to go.

I just have to say thank you again to Bob for sending me these pictures. Not this picture in particular but the old ones are so good. The picture with Uncle Bert in it is just beyond words. And Mom and Dad. Bob knows what I like.

I never thought the Storm Blog would amount to much. With these pictures for all to see, and with the new arrivals I think it is a good thing.

The Christmas forecast

First the good news. If you live in Denver you will have a white Christmas. Well I assume so since they've received two feet of snow. But for Canada, well maybe next year:

Toronto: Sunday will have a high of +4 with a chance of showers and Christmas Day will be sunny with a high of +3. Some golf courses are still open. I of course am thrilled. If I could control the weather I would like a dusting of snow Christmas Eve and a dusting of snow Christmas Day and then adios, see ya next year at this time. There are ski resorts within a few hours drive of Toronto and of course they can't even make snow because it is too warm. I dropped in at a cycle and ski shop last week and overheard a conversation: "my bike needs a tune-up, when can I bring it in?" "April" "April?" "our bike people are gone and our ski people are here now" "their is no snow within a thousand miles" "would you like a wax?" "on my bike?" "no, on your skis" Needless to say this ski/bike shop is not doing a roaring business.

Calgary: I'm not sure if there is snow in Calgary now but I do know on Christmas Day it will be sunny with a high of +6. Which really isn't terribly surprising I guess, it just never happened when I lived there. As far I can remember Calgarians are much more positive about the cold weather than those in Toronto. "hey Bob, nice weather aye, it's only 41 below, maybe a chinook tomorrow, how's your block heater?" "it died Neil, my battery is dead and our cat froze to death when we let it out last night but I'm pleased we have a dry cold".

Cranbrook: We have hope. Although Cranbrookians don't have a hope in hell of seeing snow on Christmas Eve with it being sunny all day with a high of -4, they could see two or three flakes of snow on Christmas Day. It's a strange world indeed. A few years ago Jim, Roy and myself go ice fishing on a gloriously sunny day in the middle of winter. It was cold but Jim had it all figured out and I enjoyed it immensly. I should have remembered that even though it's cold the sun shining off the snow can be deadly. Which it was for me: "Jim don't spend too much on crab and lobster for supper at this SuperStore, I'm starting to feel ill" "ill?" "getting there, the migraine and the shivers and shakes are starting to engulf my body" "any nausea yet Uncle Don?" "only if you count the dry heaves behind the canned goods section".

Creston: Close but no cigar. On Saturday in Creston it says snow and a high of zero. With a high of zero on Sunday with a mix of sun and clouds, there will no little wee flurries coming down in Creston on Christmas Eve. Robin and Karen might care: "yo Robin, quit with the guitar and look at the flakes of snow, they are coming down" "I"m practicing jingle bells Karen, for the kids, they will enjoy it" Which makes Ger an oddity, not because he's flakey, he is just odd: "would you quit with the decorating of the tree for a moment Karri, I need to take a pic of each stage of the progress made and by the way the hot tub has got to go, I'm having a good time aren't you".

And Kevin. If the Storms and Douvilles could control the weather (which I'm very disappointed we can't by the way), we would all want a little snow on Christmas eve and wake up to a glorious sunny Christmas with the sugar plum fairies having done their thing. Except for Kev: "oh gawd, please tell me it didn't snow overnight, okay I'll get up, I have to think about this, I'm still in one piece, all parts of my body are still attached to each other, I did it, Merry Christmas everyone"

The curmudgeon cadre club

I got this e-mail from a friend. It made my weekend because I always think I'm alone in dissing current culture. I guess I'm not.

'who the #$%# is Lindsay Lohan ? and who the #%$# cares ?
all I know is she's been in A.A. for a year ...., and she's probably ~ 17 ?
am I losing touch with popular culture ? good !
sign me up in your club Don .... "the curmudgeon cadre" ; guess I'm getting old.

greg'

How-to book

It sometimes is nice to talk to Kevin. Once or twice in one's lifetime one gets him in a good mood on the phone and he is okay. But he puts up with his uncle: "Kevin you have a deranged uncle" "I know" "he should be put away" "I know" "have you noticed he has suicidel tendencies?" "I know" "and he thinks you are annoying" "I know" "not to mention he doesn't think you are that great, in fact his expectations of you are not that high" "I know" "what is your threshold of pain?" "low" "what are your dreams?" "high" "when an uncle, whom shall remain nameless, beats you in cards and darts what will you do?" "kill" kill?" "kill" "not maim?" "kill" "can the unnamed uncle protest?" "no" "can he have a last meal?" "yes"

And of course I worry about Ger. I worry about his back. Maybe I shouldn't but I do. By the way, if anyone wants to have the three greatest persons in the history of mankind on their side, I'm writing a how-t0 book. In the remote chance you might run into them (you are walking through a jungle and Kevin/Jim/Ger should appear) this guide is for youm. I'm kind of an expert. Kind of an expert? Hello. This may not sell a lot but I think the world needs a "how-to" book on Kev/Jim/Ger.

But not today, my mind is working though. Take care everyone.

Love you all.

It's going to be 13 above tomorrow here in the big smoke. Hello. That can't be good. Oh gawd we are going to pay for this good weather in January and/or February. And today it's sunny and six above. I just got back from downtown. There are a few people. I walked by Dundas and Yonge Street and you can't actually walk, it's wall-to-wall persons. I wanted to buy a cd at HMV and it was no use. And of course it's the same in any mall in Calgary and Cranbrook. I can imagine the Overwaitea parking lot in Creston. And there is still a week to go until Christmas.

I don't work next Friday so I will do my 'christmas weather forecast' on Thursday morn. By the way I'm okay. I won't jump. I've never felt better in my life. Normally at this time of the year I'm suicidel but not this year. I've finally mellowed out. I'm sixty-one and I've mellowed out. I'm a slow learner I guess. I love listening to Christmas carols in the mall, especially with kids bawling their heads off in the background. Guess how many harried mothers I saw? 343,542. Guesss how how bawling kids I saw? 343,544. Obviously a couple of mothers dropped their kids off and then drove into Lake Ontario.

How would one like to be a Santa in a department store today? "Santa?" "yes my sweetness" "I"m growing up in a grow-op" "in a whom?" "a grow-op and my Dad knows Osama bin Laden" "whom" "Osama bin Laden and my mother works for M15, the British spy agency" "what would you like for Christmas my..ahem....sweetness?" "A BlackBerry" "I can give you boisenberries" "Santa" "yes my annoying, I mean sweet one" "I need a BlackBerry so I can access my boyfriend" "boyfriend?" "he's in Taiwan at the moment" "how old are you?"

Can anyone remember the exact time they realized the Easter Bunny and/or Santa Claus didn't exist? (don't let any young children read this) I don't either but it must have been traumatic for me. Hello. So I'm happily going along and someone says "no Easter Bunny" "no whom?" "easter bunny, nil, forget it, doesn't exist " "my chocolate rabbit and colourful eggs were there" "you really are naive aren't, no that was not the Easter Bunny whom hid them" This is late March so I've got several months to get over the depression of losing a dear friend. "mom?" when is Santa coming?" "soon dear" "can I get a bike?" "of course, Santa will bring you one" Mom was good, how she hid the gifts from me and Bob I'll never know. We go to bed and we get up and wow. To say we were excited was an understatement of all time. And of course as all parents are, she was completely pleased by our reaction. And Dad was there, that is a long, long time ago.

I remember decorating the tree, and Marlene was there too. After Mom and Marlene did the main decorating, me and Bob got to do the tinsel. It was a tradition. If there is anything I remember from those days is that both Mom and Marlene were completely happy at that time, they knew that me and Bob were going to pleased with the results and they just loved Christmas. Sometimes Mom and Marlene didn't along so well (as mothers and daughters are wont to do) but at Christmas they did.

From Uncle don:

Wow, as one may have noticed I like this family. It could be the cutest one of all time. There could be cuter persons than Gail and Donna in the history of mankind but I can't see it. There could be cuter persons than Neil and Robin, it wouldn't take much. Although I shouldn't say that. Under Neil's cute bod is a person whom likes to ski and loves the outdoors. I am so impressed with him. And Robin. For me, the nicest person in the history of mankind. And Laurie, I have to be on my toes with her, she hopefully will send me pictures and I can't wait to hug Laurie when I see her next.

And Leo. One of my favourite persons. He knows what life is all about and he is a Douville. Even though this is called a Storm blog because it's mine and I see the Storm genes (Marlene) in the picture of Gail, Donna, Robin, Laurie and Neil. But I also see the Douville family. A good combo if I've ever seen one. They've got both the Storms and Douvilles genes in them. I like that.

Desserts

Until I started to bike to work I didn't really realize that I enjoyed sweets quite as much I do. I became accustomed to eating energy bars at work this summer because I just got so hungry even though I ate fairly big breakfasts. Then I thought who needs energy bars, let's just buy twinkies, what is the difference? Then I thought why not buy a chocolate cake and take a slice to work each day? I became addicted.

Which is fine and dandy when I'm biking to work, but I haven't been for the last week. Yes I've retired the bike for the winter. Even though it's December 15th, I feel kind of guilty not biking to work. But the short days get to me a little bit, and the rear brake on my bike broke and so I said: "Don?" "yes?" "it's time" "for what?" "to use the subway for a few months" "really, just give me another week, I'll go slow, a brake isn't that important, I'll get it fixed soon" "it's time" And so last Friday night I brought the bike inside and parked it in the basement, a dark, dingy basement I might add, for the winter. Not to be melodramatic but it was a sad, long walk up the three flights of stairs to my apt. from the basement while eating a Coffee Crisp chocolate bar (I didn't know coffee could be crisp). Oh, I could take it out occasionally, weather permitting, I suppose but I'm not a part-time cyclist anymore. I've tasted the adreneline rush of flowing with the Toronto traffic every day and biking through a local park on a Saturday or Sunday, although good, is above me: I'm a bike snob now. Well after 18 near-death experiences this summer while biking (not counting the two that only would have maimed me) I figure I can be a snob at something.

Back to the sweets. So I noticed this week even though my energy expended is much lower, my lust for confectionery items is still as is. For a thousand years I never even thought of buying a single dessert item on my weekly trip to the grocery store. Now it's almost half and half: "aah a pork cutlet, a tomato, a head of lettuce, a cucumber, a bulb of garlic (hi Robin), a bagel, and a loaf of 100% whole wheat bread (sometimes I get 60% whole wheat when I'm depressed)" "Uncle Don, I know you get more than that" "but it doesn't read funny, so shuddup" So off to the sweet tooth areas. Some diabolical person has put all my faves all around the store, not in just one aisle. I find them. The bakery: this could be my favourite area: "Don you are salivating and embarrassing me" "you are me" "I'm your good you" "How can you be my good me if you don't like boston cream donuts and honey crullers?"

Moving on to the chocolate bar section: "don, you aren't biking for a few months, you are going to have do some situps or you are going to weigh two hundreds pounds by April, or run on the spot or do deep knee bends while you are flexing your abs" "I have abs?" "if one looks closely I see abs" "what are they" "I'm not sure but you should flex them" "In other words by the time April rolls around I'll be a fat slob" "more or less" "good".

This is what I go through. Hello. Even though I'm angst-ridden from head to toe, I'm fairly in a good 'place' right now. And guess what? I bought a fruit cake. I love fruit cake. Have I mentioned I'm wierd?

Weekend forecast

For Toronto, tomorrow will reach +6 with a chance of showers and Sunday will reach +9 with a chance of showers (I can't believe this mild weather). Calgary looks nice for the Christmas shopping crowds. Saturday will reach -4 and Sunday will get up to -7. There will not be a cloud in the sky for the whole weekend.

Cranbrook will be nice too. Saturday will be Sunny all day and will get up to -1, and Sunday will be sunny with a few clouds and it will get up to -5. A cooling trend, Brenda must be mad at Jim. For Saturday, Creston will reach +2 with sun and clouds and for Sunday, the high will be -1 with a chance of flurries.

For all those whom are travelling to the British Virgin Islands, it will be +26 both days and sunny with the tradewinds coming from the south.

December 08, 2006: the twenty-sixth anniversity of John Lennon's death.

Weekend forecast

For Toronto, Saturday will be cloudy with a high of plus two and on Sunday it will get up to plus seven and it will be sunny. Looking good for Calgary: Saturday will see a high of nothing with a mix of sun and cloud and Sunday will see a high of plux six, also with a mix of sun and cloud.

.

Moving on to Beautiful B.C., Cranbrook will reach minus four on Saturday and will be cloudy and Sunday there will be periods of snow and reach minus two. Creston will reach nil both Saturday and Sunday with possible showers and/or snow occurring both days. Environment Canada doesn't mention this but I forecast a Storm front, I mean Jim, will be moving into Creston for the weekend.

The canoe trip in a parallel universe

Of course Germain took this pic, which is why it is fuzzy. That is Lydia Bunwich and Karl Coleman on the far left of the picture. Them of whom bought a new canoe which wanted to keep a distance from the rest of the 'canoeists' (using the term tremendously loosely). Why are they dressed in black in the middle of summer? At least they are wearing shorts. To their immediate left is the twins: Kranky and Dinky Whiteskin of the Semiold tribe. Although their tribal traditions date back thousands of years, Kranky and Dinky were cast out of the tribe because they couldn't stand being out in the sun (not a good thing since the chieftan was Roycoma, The Sun God).

Next to Kranky and Dinky is the noted seer Kassandra Gerulcer. She must be, she saw her life flash before her eyes just before she plopped into the river. Kassandra also enjoys angling, not for fish but for blue eyeglass straps. Kassandra is also the only person I know who can tap dance in a canoe. And then there is Coolhand Bud and his sexy moll Jezabel Babyduck. Great people but have you noticed they have a tendency to tipple when they are in a canoe? Not topple, tipple. Although if they tipple too much they will topple. But they never topple they just tipple, it's Coolhand and Jezabel.

Moving on to Babs Jokester and Jasper Stillwater, Jr., they were the veterans. Of what I have no idea, possibly being boring. Although Babs did her best to fool Dinky. And Jasper, lets just say I wouldn't want to be lost in the middle of Banff with him, the town of Banff, not the park, gawd forbid. A highlight of course was Jeremiah Strawhatson and Shalome Cuteinksy. Jeremiah made a good breakfast although I made sure I wasn't the first one to start eating (Jeremiah's father, Germain would have poisoned me I'm sure) and Shalome was checking us out. Obviously, somehow, incredibly, beyond comprehension, and wow, Jeremiah and Shalome are having a baby. I have a name picked out if anyone is asking: John or Jane Doe.

And last but definitely not the least: Anastasia Goodheart and her son Tecumseh. Kranky Whiteskin married Anastasia Goodheart and so Tecumseh's full name is Tecumseh Whiteskin-Goodheart. Anastasia has royalty in her blood and Kranky also has ROYalty in his blood. And with Coolhand Bud as his brother and Roy The Sun God as his grandfather and Germain and Dinky as his uncles..oh and Jeremiah as his cousin, Tecumseh should be happy.

(Editor's note: Uncle Don would normally delete the above but he'll leave for now)

I really like this picture. Karri in a quiet moment. Of course Ger is irritated beyond belief behind the camera: 'the mountains aren't lit up enough, that's a poor excuse for a fire, my back hurts, did we bring the Tums? It's still a nice pic.

Look at this pic at your peril. If you are blinded by the light coming off Bob's forehead it's not my fault. This picture was taken in England. In a pub I assume. Lorraine captured the essence of Bob.

The famous Balzac Gas Plant (mainly because Bob works there). Look at the sky, I bet it was cold when Bob took this pic.

New pics from Bob - the kids

Yay, I can post pics again (I needed to delete my cache which I found out from reading the Google blog forum). If Theo isn't the cutest kid in the history of mankind I don't know who is. But of course so are Zack and Olivia.

Anyone whom wants to send me the cd U218Singles for Christmas one maym. I'd like that. It's amazing how quickly Kev agreed that I shouldn't come down for Christmas. Did he really need to whoop it up with his hand over the phone? If the Storm Blog even survives December 25th it will be a miracle. I wouldn't think so. It gets a little tougher to be alone at this time of year as I get older. I should be so used to it by now.

This weekend I talked to Ger, Bob and Kev. It was totally my pleasure to do so.

Just when I assumed my family had forsaken me and had forgotten that I ever existed, someone sends me something to post. Just under the wire: I'm on top of this tall building and I'm ready to jump. As I'm about to jump my cell phone rings, "Uncle don?" "what, you've interrupted my flow" 'neil sent you a picture of him amidst the mountains" "Is he cute before I jump?" "he likes to live on the edge a bit" "Okay I'll look at them"

Back to the tall building and ready to go: "uncle don, ger sent you pics". "am I in any of them?" "several" "only several, I'm jumping" "but the main pics are of youm" "meem?" "the good ones" Okay I'll delay jumping for a day or two".

.

Three days later: 'grumble, sheesh these stairs are getting tough to climb, I'm not getting any younger, grumble, they won't let me take the elevator anymore because of an insurance clause, grumble, I must do an analysis to find out the height/pain/splat ratio, maybe I can find a medium tall building. Although the little cars and little people look inviting': "uncle don?" "what now, I'm not taking calls" "it's Bob" "Bob whom?" "yourm brotherm" "hi don how are you doing?" "I'm okay although my back is acting up and the vertigo is getting to me, what is the viscosity of pavement?" "it doesn't give much, I suggest you land on a hay wagon as it's going by" "I don't see any at the moment" "By the way Don why do you want to jump from a tall building?" "no one loves me, I'm angst-ridden and I'm getting up there in age" "I've got pics for you to see" "How many?" "Enough to last you for at two weeks, if not more" "Thank good gawd, I need to get away from climbing stairs for awhile"

"after our talk i checked the blog out.Good job,as always!!!! As i scrolled the previous journals i read the one with my Grandmother --Grace Storm. It is really easy to forget the most terrific people in this world.I remember her just like it was yesterday-(yes i know it sounds like a cliche ) But she was truly an amazing woman -- the homemade ice cream, and just the overall love that she showed us was unforgettable--i miss her ..She would be proud to see how well her 3 boys have turned out,and that family is and always will be # 1..The fact is Marlene and Grandma were cloned.I miss my Aunt too..
Gotta go ---to emotional----love ya ----your mother loves you too and we know that she still guides us!!"

Thank you Ger,

Me and Bob need the above I think. Mom had a great impact on me and Bob even though she didn't live too long.

The weather today wasn't that bad. For December 1st it was okay. Although I'm the oldest person at Market Probe, there are a few whom aren't that much younger than me. And they are all originally from Saskatchewan or Manitoba and have lived in Toronto for a long time. They like to discuss the weather especially when it's worse out west than here in Toronto: "did you see Winnipeg, 39 below with the wind chill, but it's a dry cold" "Saskatoon was 42 below yesterday which beats your 39 below" "Hah, my aunt in Estevan e-mailed me and mentioned that it was 42 below at 4:30 am"

So even though I don't enjoy the actual job at Market Probe it's a good place to work as far as the people. For example, I've got a Tyler sitting behind me. He's 23, a part-time comedian and he chews snuff 'from his hockey days'. He can be annoying because he wants to try his every new joke out on me. And Amanda sitting to my left. She looks likes she's 30 and she's got three grown kids and she is great to talk to. And Stephen who occupies the cubicle to my right. He's gotta be close to sixty, dresses in black, has the deepest voice I've ever heard and usually wears his hair in a pigtail. I pass my copies of the New Yorker to him after I've read them. And of course Derek, whom maybe, just maybe is about ready to be able to leave Market Probe and make it as an actor or director full-time. And Ben who is in Windsor this weekend at comedy clubs just to get his name out there but who has to work at Market Probe to survive, Canada is a small market. And even at sixty-one I completely identify with them and they know that. But of course I don't have the sense of urgency they have because my time has passed for writing but I can at least be on the same wave length as them

My preference is to be in Creston but I may get annoyed at you all very quickly. Think speed of light: "Robin, you are having your great exalted uncle pick garlic?" "are you talking, get back to work, work is money, you are slow, you don't get it do you, I'm never going to take on old uncles again, their work ethic is good but their production is way down". Clomp, clomp, clomp from the flat's up the highway to Comforts. "hi kevin, how are you, you are cute, Robin fired me". "Robin fired you?" "my quota was down on picking garlic, do you have a job for me?" "what are you good at?" "nuthin" "I'll call ger from the back and we'll assess you, by the way you smell like garlic". "okay here were go, do you weld?" "nope" "can you lift heavy objects?" "nope". Clomp, clomp, clomp to the highway to catch a ride to Jim's. "hi Jimmy, you are amazingly cute, wow, did I tell you that you are not a bad person if you could control your sudden attacks of ego?" "Yes" "is Mr Tire looking to hire?" "we can hire person whom are familiar with tires" "is that the criteria?" "yes" Clomp, clomp, clomp. I don't seem to fit in anywhere.

December 01, 2006

A picture to cheer us all up on this first day of December. It's not even officially winter yet! Ack. In Toronto this morning we've got sleet, a howling wind and ice-covered sidewalks. If I somehow manage to walk to my bus stop without breaking my neck it will be a miracle. I hope their are some little old ladies out there to help me walk across the street.

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On the bright side, in Calgary and Cranbrook, it's going all the way up to minus eight, and in Creston it's going to be minus three with some sun....get out your shorts and the suntan lotion.

It's only getting up eight above today, 17 above tomorrow and 13 above Thursday.

Woe is me.

not bad aye, not bad at all

Believe it or not Ger is happier than hell. It's a little hard to tell of course. How would you like to wake up to being Ger in the morn? "ger?" "how many persons are you going to kill today?" "Ger?" "Adolph Hitler and Joseph Stalin are on the phone asking for tips on how to be happy"


And then their is Jim. "jim?" "yes" "why is your cap on backwards?" "are you talking?" "pretty well every Storm person in the history of mankind looks up to you and your not fishing?" "why are you talking?" "in fact people come from far and wide to see you fish" "I wish you would shut up" "so these 125 Japanese tourists are expecting something to happen...as in catching a fish"

I'm not alone

Bob reminded me that Mom passed away forty years ago today. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. If anyone would like to send me memories or pictures of Mom this is where I will post them.

This from Ger on December 01:

"hey there sunshine----after our talk i checked the blog out.Good job,as always!!!! As i scrolled the previous journals i read the one with my Grandmother --Grace Storm. It is really easy to forget the most terrific people in this world.I remember her just like it was yesterday-(yes i know it sounds like a cliche ) But she was truly an amazing woman -- the homemade ice cream, and just the overall love that she showed us was unforgettable--i miss her ..She would be proud to see how well her 3 boys have turned out,and that family is and always will be # 1..The fact is Marlene and Grandma were cloned.I miss my Aunt too..
Gotta go ---to emotional----love ya ----your mother loves you too and we know that she still guides us!!"

Wow, thank you Ger.

Even I have to admit this blog is coming together. I had no idea.

By the way Robin and Karen are going over to Nelson for a RDCK (whatever that stands for, Rapid Ducks on the Creek in the Kootenays?, well you guys know) banquet. He is going to receive a 20-year service recognition award. Clap, clap, clap, clap from the family to our Robin.

And he is learning to play the guitar. I wouldn't sit around any campfires with him in the next six or seven years. I can see Robin doing John Denver.....'country roads, take me home, west virginia'. Make it ten or twelve years before you sit around a campfire with him, and that may be too soon.

Thank you all for sending me stuff, this blog will only be as good as you make it.

News from SFU

Burnaby, B.C. – After a shaky start on Friday night the Simon Fraser University Clan women’s volleyball team came back to defeat the University of Winnipeg Wesmen 3-1 (26-24, 25-22, 20-25, 25-20). The Clan improve to 2-5 on the season while the Wesmen fall to 1-7. In the first game the Wesmen jumped out to an early lead of 10-4, but kills by Gillian Church (North Vancouver, B.C.), Colleen Douville (Creston, B.C.), and Jennifer Northrup (Surrey, B.C.) brought the score to a tie at 11.
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The two teams traded points and the score was tied six times during the course of the game. Finally with both teams tied at 24, the Clan took the game with kills by Krystyna Adams (Richmond, B.C.) and Sarah McNeil (Prince George, B.C.). In second game the Clan stepped onto the floor with greater confidence and better execution. Although the game saw the score tied six times, after the ten-point mark the Clan managed to stay a few steps ahead of the Wesmen to end the game 25-22.
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Douville had six of her match high 13 kills in the second game. In the third game the Clan let the Wesmen get away from them by having six errors on the attack while the Wesmen’s Nicola Dirks got her grove-on in the air with seven of her match high 17 kills coming in this game. SFU came out for the fourth game more aggressive above the net with blocks from McNeil, Northrup and Keri Philip (Qualicum Beach, B.C.), and 14 Clan kills. The Clan were able to dominate the game, staying ahead from the fourth point and finishing the game 25-20. “We were a little nervous in the first set,” admits Clan setter Philip, “But once we got a flow going we were able to stay ahead to pull out the win. Unfortunately we lost our focus in the third set, but we showed poise by coming back with confidence in the fourth. This year our team is playing much more competitively, and we are having more fun, and when we have fun we play well.”
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Douville led SFU with 13 kills, while Philip had 48 set assists. Northrup led the Clan with 22 digs. For Winnipeg, Dirks led the way with 17 kills, while Courtney Desaulniers had 38 set assists. Shanti Plett added 20 digs for the Wesmen.

Hi

I talked to Kev recently and he said: "I read through the blog and you put me down all the time" "true" "why?" "I don't know, probably because you have no idea about life in general and your outlook on life is askew" "mine?" "yours?" "me'm" "you'm, although you aren't all bad, there has to be one crabby person in every family and you've overtaken me in that regard so now I can be nice, pleasant and work on my sparkling personality" "sparkling?" "what's wrong with sparkling?" "I've never thought of you as sparkling" "under this veneer of stoicism there is a sparkle, although I may kill every bone in your bod if you don't shut up"

I could write about politics. I could write about my job. I could write about the Dow Jones Industrial Average. All so very boring to most.

I could also write about Jesse of the NYT who takes me seriously when I sound even more angst-ridden and jewish than he does. It's not a long stretch for me for some reason. We have a lot in common I think and he is one with whom I can identify with in some small way.

I could write about biking which I've done to death, but tonight was special. Biking home on November 24 and watching the sky turn from an azur blue, to dark blue to darkness while weaving in and out of traffic was sort of special for a Torontonian who is used to sleet at this time of year.

I could write about why I am such a soft touch. I'm not really but I must look like one. I'm getting better. It takes me an extraordinary amount of time to figure this out, it seems I was born to take everyone at face value to my chagrin so many times. I have no regrets, my heart was in the right place even though my head wasn't perhaps.

And above all I could write my family. And I do. That is what fun is all about. It is rediculous isn't it? Unfortunately I'm so old, I think Jim is fairly cute, not really. Can you imagine what I might think of Gail: "gail, you are fairly cute" "uncle don, I'm not that good" "in my wizened years you seem to be up there in cuteness, and Donna is right up there too". "uncle don, we can't be cute anymore, we're over thirty". "huh?" "we are over thirty, we can't be cute anymore, those days are past, long gone". "you look cute to me" "Uncle Don, quit with the cute, we've had kids, raised a family, struggled with jobs" "But you are cute, can I say that?" "I guess so"

A weather update

Not to make anyone jealous this Friday morn, but I'm biking to work today and it's going to be sunny with a high of plus eight and tomorrow it is going to be sunny with a high of plus 11. Ahem, Calgary will have a high of minus 14 today with periods of snow tonight; Cranbrook will have a high of plus one, but with a few flurries and going down to a low of minus 15 tonight; and Creston is going all the way up to plus three today with a chance of rain showers or flurries, but on Monday the high is forecast to be minus 14.

All together now: Aaaaaaawwwwwww, poor baby's.

Theophilus Benjamin Storm

Theo is seven months old now.

A London pub. Looks pretty quaint and cozy to me.

A famous London landmark. Well, if it isn't, it should be.

Lorraine definitely not standing next to Bob in London.

The bed and breakfast hotel Bob and Lorraine stayed at in London.

More pics from Bob/Lorraine's trip to Poland and England

One of the highlights of my life was spending time with Neil and Kev in Calgary. I didn't mind it. It wasn't a bad thing. Hello. They treated me good. Those two are kind of special in my mind. All of my family is of course, but they were funnee.

I've gone through some pictures that I have been sent over the years. From Bob, Anna, Marlene, Aunt Gladys, Ger; some good ones. some really good ones. I will get them scanned and post them.

I was going to say life is good. Hello. I hate it when I think that. I'm in pain. Not at this particular moment but I will be soon I'm sure. I feel something coming on: the flu, a migraine and/or various tropical diseases even though I haven't been to the tropics. They find me. Why did I bring that up, now I have a headache. My back is recovering (thank you Bob for asking) and did I mention I have no circulation in my upper and lower limbs? Why is it that I feel not bad now but 99999999.99% of the time I don't feel that great. Don't be surprised at any time to receive a phone call from Toronto: "Your uncle is on the verge of dying and he may not pull through" "should we rush down there?" "I wouldn't rush, take your time" "will he survive?" "it depends" "on what?" "he doesn't think you love him enough and he might jump from a tall building or hang himself from a rafter" "how is his pulse?" "It's flickering, it comes and goes". "should we worry about uncle don?" "he's not going to keel over in the next six minutes, but eventually you will have to spread his ashes over his favourite bike path"

"How long has he got" "it depends really, if everyone cooks him good food and slowly, ever so slowly nurses him back to health over an extended period of time (don't forget the coddling), he can have amazing recuperative powers".

I love these pics. This is a Storm Clan member (not mentioning any names) whom is, if not already the Great Grand Poobah Upcoming Soon To Be, is getting there, his gaze into oblivion is the best I've seen yet. And he's in London. He may have a leg up on the rest of us grand poobahs.

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We are amateurs: Jim gazes into space from a boat, Ger does it from a duck blind, Kev does it from a round table, I do it when I'm sitting on the can but Bob travels to London. Bob obviously took notes from The Great Grand Poobah Of All Time (Roy) whom only gazes into space when he is smoking a pipe and looking out the window as his homestead is moving down the highway at 65 kliks an hour.

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Seriously though Bob looks good. Doesn't he? Wow. Especially his huge forehead. One could try to kick a field goal from one end of it and not hit the end zone. I'm kidding of course, he's a cutie.

I will be posting more pics of Bob and Lorraine in the future. They bought a new trailer. And they just got back from England and Poland. Hello. Boy did I make some wrong moves in life.

from Poland

These are just three of the great pics that Bob took from Poland that I chose to highlight. Note that Lorraine is in everyone of them. Not a coincidence.

I was considering not showing these pics that Bob took at the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum in Oswiecim, Poland on my blog. For only a second. I had the opportunity to see another concentration camp when I visited Munich Germany many years ago and I just couldn't bring myself to go. These are just three pics to remind us all that life is precious..so very precious.

A wee short note

I wasn't able to bike today, a Friday. For every reason known to mankind: the weather, my back, and lacking brakes on my bike (which hopefully I will get fixed this weekend). But I still feel like a lazy, good for nothing person. Can a sixty-one year old white male be angst ridden and anorexic? I'm thinking of the exercise regime I will start any day now: push-ups (unfortunately I've got the weakest arms in the history of mankind so that's out); running-on-the spot (unfortunately I can't run on the go much less run on the spot); skip rope (I can't find a single store in Toronto that stocks skipping ropes); hang myself from a rafter (it's an option); sit-ups (this is the one, they'll keep my washboard stomach from looking like a wash basin stomach).

I read an article in the New York Times on the Okanagan Valley weeks ago. As is my habit sometimes I like to praise persons for work well done, and so I looked up the Okanagan Valley Tourist Board and sent them a congratulatory e-mail on their good work. As it happened the person who responded to me was Deanna who grew up in Cranbrook. I have an open invitation to stop in anytime when I'm out there and she'll give me a guided tour of Kelowna. I just sent her another e-mail which may prompt her to adopt me....can a sixty-one year old white male be adopted?

from Neil

Spectacular pics of Rae Glacier in the Kananaskis. That is Neil skiing in the top pic.

I see blue sky....ooh, that's what it looks like.

from Ger

A pic from the hot tub of the (presumably) first snowfall.

We haven't had snow yet in T.O. It's just been overcast for 9,000 days in a row...snow would be a relief.

A hodgepodge

- I live in a yuppie neighbourhood. All the couples who live in my neighbourhood are in their thirties and are lawyers and accountants who are on their way to being CE.O.s. There are very few kids on my street. Today, on the way to the store, I was following two women whom were walking their Swiss Border Dachhounds: "my ex is friends with my current husband, Claude, they get along well". "really, my ex is an Aries and he can't stand Chad whom is a Leo." I immediately got a headache and felt nauseous.

- A Christmas tree was put up in the lobby at work last Wednesday. If I had anything to do with anything I would ban Christmas decorations until at least December 15th.

- If I was marooned on an island, I wouldn't want to be rescued by Madonna.

- The CFL finals. The best of memories sitting in McMahon Stadium in the coldest of weather.

- Actually if I was marooned on an island I wouldn't want be marooned with Jim, Ger or Kev: Jim: "Uncle Don did I tell you about the time I.." "Sixteen hundred times" "what about the time I.." "two thousand and twelve times" "And remember..." "you're talking" "but.." "just be quiet and climb that tree and get us some coconuts" Ger: "Uncle Don I'm going cut down that coconut tree and make it into a semi-detached bungalow." "where are you going to get the shale for the spiral staircase?" "you have to swim out to that reef." "That's twelve miles away, I'm not that good a swimmer" "Flipper will help you carry the shale back." Kev: "Uncle Don have you seen my shotgun?" "your who'm?" "my shotgun" "you mean that thing with a hair trigger?" "Uh huh" "are you in a good mood today?" "not particularly." "um, well you see a shark attacked us while you slept and I used it to fend off impending doom" "I'm going a make a shotgun out of that coconut tree" "good idea, great idea, amazingly great idea, take your time"

- As I may have mentioned, I pulled a muscle in my back. That is pain. I had to take three days off work. Who cares. The thing is, it was more comfortable for me to sit, trying to lay down and sleep was impossible. And at sixy-one, one's sleep patterns are more or less defined: "ten o-clock, time for bed." "I can't move." "You have to go to bed." "Just this once can I not move?" "okay I'll go to bed, ach, ouch, gad, aah" "that wasn't so bad was it?" "now what do I do?" "sleep" "sleep?, I'm in complete &(%^ pain and I'm supposed to sleep, I've never been more awake in my life, and I can't sleep on my back, I just can't do that, I have to be in a fetal position" "you know if I wasn't your concience I would move on to someone else, gawd you are a baby." "okay here goes, I'm astir, moving to lay on my left side (my fave), do you think my screaming will wake up the neighbourhood?" "think positively in between the searing pain, at least you are not angst-ridden at the moment"

- When I finally do move out to Creston, there will be many, many things I will miss about Toronto. It is the greatest city in the world I think. But I don't think I should have decided to come to Creston at Christmas. It's going to kill me coming back. But when Anita yells at me from across the table when I'm talking to Kev on the phone "Uncle Don, come home for Christmas", one can hardly refuse. It wasn't that bad the last time. I don't know how I do it actually. I guess I must have some inner strength that I don't know about and only use for moments like those. It is not easy, I tell you that one.

- Okay I will do this once. Only for unbiased purposes mind you. Jim is okay. If one was going to write a history of the world he might not be included. But he should be. There is a person whom I respect. He's not bad. And Ger. He is angst-ridden too and I find that so endearing. And Kev is the one whom understands me and there is not that many persons around who do.

- Perhaps I shouldn't be invited anywhere. Last Sunday morn I set myself on fire. This won't make Kev happy but yes I did. Why am I billowing in smoke? Oh, my robe is on fire. Thankfully I was able to put the fire out before it spread. 99.99% of the time l lead a normal life. It's that .01% that is a problem. I completely think I'm a victim of circumstance.

- Agh. guess what? I was talking to Col and he either got bored with me or hung up because Kev wanted him to. I going to spend money that I can't afford coming out there? I don't think so. I'm not good at climbing stairs. Especially after a few beer. I've never seen Kev's upper floors. Hello: I couldn't climb those sober. I bike to Etobicoke and back every day and have survived near-death experiences but I can't climb Kev's stairs. Once, and only once, I did take the stairs down. "watch the step Uncle Don there is one missing". "one what?" "step". "why is every step wobbly, if I fall I'll sue you". By the way this is where me and Anita snuggle" "yay, if I'm not upstairs within sixteen seconds I'm going to kill myself". "you don't like it?" "it seems kind of dark" "you don't like what Anita has done to it, she'll kill you when she finds that out". "Dark in a good way" If I lived there I would keep the deck and torch the house. If I somehow had money and was Kevin, I'd make that place into the greatest place of all time. Sitting around the table and throwing darts doesn't do it.

I don't understand why Col hangs up me. So I look around and wonder if I'm an asshole. All my life I've had to dumb down. I completely get tired of pretending I'm stupid. Actually maybe I am.

Sunday morning musings with coffee

I must admit, it's nice to be able to pick up the phone and talk to Kev with his new attitude towards me. I try not to take advantage of it although I woke him up yesterday morning. I'm always up at five a.m .so phoning him at nine was quite an achievement in patience for me. And I talked to Ger. Geez that was nice. If there was something I could do about not phoning them I would do it. Only because I don't want to seem like a pest. But there is nothing I can do about it. On Friday during the working day I say: "no phoning family this weekend". And of course after six beer I have to. Oh well, I could be a serial killer. Or a porn star (well you never know, it could happen). So I guess loving my family is not so bad.

And I have pics of Bob and Lorrraine's trip to England and Poland to post this week. And I talked to Karri-man and Loretta. And beloved Anita. I didn't talk to Jim, Col, and Ty but they know I love them. Why would anyone care? I'm annoying. I'm sure. I think 61 is too young to hate Mondays. I have a problem with Mondays. You guys are all so young so you wouldn't get it. An old like me just drags his ass getting up monday morn. I wrore the below sober so don't expect much. And I love classical music. I think I'm good. I really do. I have to prove it to you.



it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. That wasn't a bad experience. I felt completely honoured. Last summer was rediculous for me. I'm a normal person whom should be treated with respect but that's it. Although it is nice to be treated special I must admit. I don't deserve it. Of course when I actually move to Creston it will be different: from Jim: Now that I've got you ice fishing and you have no where to go I'm going to talk about my last hunting expedition for twelve hours straight. from Ger: I'm going to build the Great Wall of China and you have to help me carry the rocks down from the summit. from Kev: if you're sitting on the deck in the morning contemplating life and utter a sound, I'm going to shoot you. In fact if you blink you are dead. In fact If you don't throw that dart now you are dead. You don't have to explain to us why the trajectory has to be like an arc. And we are never playing Trivial Persuit. And start walking towards town and the bus station, you are a threat to mankind.

A warning

On the outside, it may look like I am calm, cool and collected, but I'm actually a roiling cauldren. The hammer, by the way, is the greatest invention of all time. If I can't open something (a bottle, a can, and/or a carton) almost immediately, I take a hammer to it. A child's-proof bottle of dino vitamins is child's play to me. Whack! It's open. Not that I take kid's vitamins, I take one-a-day vitamins for those over 50. I presume when one is 49, one can't handle the molybdutti. Why isn't there vitamins for those over 60? The bottle would be wrapped in a noose and contain arsenic.

So Environment Canada has come out with statistics. Toronto had less hours of sunshine this fall than any other year in recorded history. Thank gawd, I now have a reason for my inexplicable urge to jump off the nearest tall building. If it wasn't for my acrophobia (fear of heights) and agliophobia (fear of pain) I would have been deceased a long time ago. I also suffer from brontophobia (fear of thunder and lightning), febriphobia (fear of fever), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) motorphobia (fear of cars) and jimophobia (fear of jim).

So I phoned Kev and asked him "for Jim's phone number: "I can't give it you" "why?" "it's secret" "what's a secret?" "why I can't give it you" "he doesn't want to talk to me, I understand" "no, he thinks you should remember it by now" "I still look up yours, I'm not good with numbers" "but he doesn't want to talk to you" "that is a relief, good, I don't mind" "what, you should mind uncle don". "why would I mind, I wouldn't particularly want to talk to me either, and it took you years to understand that talking to me on the phone is not worst thing in the world, and why are you being nice to me, I don't like it, when you are nice to me that means you are plotting something". "me'm?" "you'm" "I just talked to Ger and he was nice to me too. "He'm?" "he'm, so I've been through it all, I've seen everything worth seeing so it's hardly worth mentioning that you aren't going to surprise me, the only one so far has been Kev". May I mention this one more time. To see Roy's home coming in and picking me up was more than amazing. Roy didn't look happy, but Bob and Lorraine and I were completely shocked. And going back to Creston was so amazing. And God made sure we had a flat so we had to stop and see Jim. And I think we played mini-golf. Impossible to top that one. I was in the co-pilot's seat and I turned around and there was everyone I loved. That one is impossible to top.

I have one other actually. Being with Ger and Kev taking me to Cranbrook. It was brothers together whom felt comfortable with each other. But none of you have any idea about me. Nil. You three are too tame for me. I'm better than you guys by a thousand times. You guys wouldn't do what I do in a trillion years. 'no pain, no gain': Jim, Kev, Ger and Rob are not up to my standards. You guys can do all you want but you will never, ever be up to me. You have no idea about me, I guarantee you there. I'm so much better than you will ever realize.

Monday morning I'm going to be hitting the road again. And you guys will just jump in the truck and go to work: "no pain, no gain" Just be careful. To me you all seem to be indistructable but if I ever lost one of you I'd have to kill myself.

A day in the life...

I must admit sometimes I'm a trifle tired when I get home from work. As in today....

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4:45-6:20 am: get up, start coffee perking, shower, drink coffee while reading my favourite newspaper websites for the news, make breakfast (this morning consisting of hash browns, scrambled eggs, toast with marmelade, and sliced tomatoes), make my lunch (consisting of a bagel with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and a pickle) and then make my first major decision of the day. What to wear to work. When biking to work in November in Toronto it's all about the weather. Is it raining now? If not will it be raining when I bike home? Should I wear two pairs of gloves or just one? And it goes on and on, but today there was no rain forecast so it wasn't quite such a major decision. But I did wear the wrong pair of gloves because it was colder than I thought. I forget to check out the ^$$^)(&$% wind chill.

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6:21-7:35 am: bike to work. This of course is normally my fave time of the day. But this morning I was starting work an hour earlier because we are busy and so I had to make the second major decision of the day: take a route to work I hate, but which take less time, or the one with less traffic but takes fifteen minutes longer. I took the shorter route but grumbled under my breath something about: 'when am I gonna stop and smell the roses?'.

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8:00-4:00 pm: During this period of time I made the third through tenth major decisions of the day. Should I eat the energy bar on my first break or the slice of pound cake? Should I work until five and make a little extra money? And of course, being Friday, I had extra major decisions to make. If I do my grocery shopping tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow. If I go to my usual drug store tonight and buy the ibuprofin and vitamin pills tonight I don't have to do it tomorrow (by the way why does everything run out at the same time?). But I survived my hated job for another week at least.

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4:00-5:05 pm: The wind was with me I guess. Friday biking home is the one day I clear my head and just enjoy it.

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5:06-5:27 pm: grocery shop. I've shopped at this particular Food Basics for a long time. Pretty well got it down except my bank card never works in the slot. Well, I can't make it work, they have no prob making it work. I seethe for at least a minute after I've bought groceries there, wondering why I don't have the touch (don't I lead a wonderfully exciting life?). Take groceries home and lock up my bike up for the 75th time today.

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5:28-5:51 pm: Slowly walk up the stairs and take my backpack and bike helmet off and collapse. And remember it's Friday. Who cares about one-a-day vitamins? Who cares about a back ache? It's beer time!

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5:52-6:00 pm: Hippity-hop down the stairs, unlock the bike lock, jump on the bike and hit the beer store and am back in eight minutes (could be a record).

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It was nice to receive this e-mail from Ger: 'well unc of the funk,i just spent the last hour reviewing the Stormblog and what you have written in the last 6 months..Let me tell you that my stomach hurts from laughing and i think that your writing is awesome!!! Thanks for having a website that we can look at and review what's happening in little old Creston that's being written by our uncle in Toronto--how bizarre is that?' Great to hear, but I can't seem to find any editor out there that wants to publish anything I have to say. I don't look that hard because I don't have time.

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Recently the New York Times wrote a great article on the Okanagan: 'a hidden treasure' type thing. I looked up the tourism board for the Okanagan and sent them an e-mail congratulating them on their success. Got a great e-mail back from whomever at the tourism board and thanking me for making their day. I have no idea what my role in life is supposed to be. The point being is I like to make people feel good about themselves (except my family, they don't listen).

I feel like I'm going through hell right now, I really do, but I imagine everyone goes through the same thing when they are sixty-one. I have to figure out a way to get to Roy and Leo's zaniness (and happiness it seems to me) without actually being zany and happy. Zany is not the correct word, but when I talk to Leo, I feel younger. I haven't talked to Roy for months but I can't imagine him being much different.

They are the two that I think we should be completely pleased about and thank gawd they are still with us.

Yay.

from Ger

Well it finally happened ---yahooooo----grandfatherdom here i come!!!!! I just got home from Kamloops,mother and baby are fine. Here's pic's of Lane Walter Tozer..The newest addition to the Storm family