I assume when I arrive in Creston, a fire will be built. This is a Neil picture of a fire at Kevins.

This is one of the person's whom I'm moving out to Creston to see: "Gord?" "yes don" "can I retract my resignation notice" "sorry, it's too late"

Has anyone noticed that Lorraine is one of the more attractive persons in the Storm realm. I do. And she has a heart of gold.

Who knew?

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie. Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie. And this is for the questions that don't have any answers. The midnight glancers and the topless dancers. The gang of freaks, cars packed with speakers. The Gs with the forties and the chicks with beepers

Gail, if we say cheese, Neil will ignore us.

Kim said to Neil: "I'm demure, and I may use your bod as a starting point for a migraine" "moi?" "and I hope you are wearing a jock strap"

Cousins

They are watching a Thomas the Tank Engine cd. Both Jim and Robin never grew out of it.

Yes even Kevin couldn't believe what Donna said: 'get that camera off me before I use it as a (something we don't want to know about) or I'll put my beer bottle up your (censored).'

It's kind of annoying that I have a family whom I'm afraid of. I've spent the last few years putting them all down (in a nice way). And Ger is nice to me and Kevin isn't. The age-old condundrum: Do I hang Kevin from a rafter or a tree.

Although perhaps no one cares which would suit me fine. That is what I hope for. I'm going to be fragile upon arrival, a mouse will set me off. Don't let Colin near me for a half hour. Gawd I miss Colin. He is cute. I could be wrong but there is a person who will look after me. Not that I'll need it mind you. Yes I will. I blubber when I'm out there for a week, what will I do when I'm out there forever: 'uncle don?' 'yes colin' 'you are blubbering' 'do I have to go back to Toronto?' 'no' 'serious?' 'no' 'this is going to take a while to get used to, I think everyone is mad at me' 'whom?" 'I can already hear the discontent' "where?' "all over, I can tell' "why are you in the fetus position uncle don?' 'I'm getting prepared' 'for what?' 'Kevin is coming home for soup soon and Anita is working and I'm not sure if I should have made the soup hot or luke warm'

In my life, it should be interesting. I don't know, maybe they have a cabin ready for me. I can't see me and Kevin under the same roof. I'd be okay but Kevin would hit the roof: Kev? you are annoying me, sleep somewhere else, I'm oiling my chains, and I sold your tv because I don't like it and I've sent Anita away to learn Japanese ceramics for a week or two. And by the way, on the way home could you buy me herbal tea, chai would be good.

could happen.

Hello

You were expecting pictures? I've so many to choose from now that I need a little more time. Like six or seven months. I suppose I could post them all, which I might but I don't think that's feasible. But I should do agree with that old saying: 'a picture is worth a thousand words'.

Not only was Roy's Wake held last weekend, but Marlene's ashes were spread on Goat Mountain at a place where she would look at from the kitchen window. As Bob said: "very moving". And a new Storm was born: Brant Roy Storm. I think I missed quite a weekend.

And it's June 1st. It's been quite hot, humid, and smoggy here in TO for the last while. It's pretty bad when one's eyes sting when biking to work and back. And of course I sweat like a pig and need to drink a gallon of water when I get home.

So I'll post pics on the weekend (with perhaps a few words of wisdom (or not) included), and I hope you all have a good weekend.

Brant Roy Storm

Father and Grandfather To-be

Actually Justin looks okay, it's Ger whom looks bleary-eyed and somewhat frazzled.

so I spent the day with greg whom should get a medal for bravery in the line of fire. Why uncle don? Because I'm crazy. In what way? I thought I should dress up today and I haven't slept for three days. Three days? well, quite a long time. What is your normal routine? Up at 4am, breakfast and a bike to work, home at six, bed by nine. So this week off has been quite a disruption. Slightly. You didn't go to Creston to honour Roy. It felt like I did. And you are moving to Creston? Yes. Explain this again, you took the week off, didn't go to Creston, and haven't slept for several days and you talked to Bonnie, Laurie and Derek yesterday and heard Olivia in the background? At Kevins. I know it sounds implausible.

You are mad, completely off your rocker, and in need of mental help. I know that Dr. Morgenstern but what do I do about it. Reduce your alcohol intake, get lots of exercise and pray. I've already done that. You have a problem.

uncle don? "yes?" did you actually talk to Derek, Bonnie, Laurie, Justin and Jaimie yesterday? "it seems so" that's impossible. "that's what I would have thought, and I could hear Olivia in the background, and what's even more improbable Bob and Lorraine were with Kerri in the States" so your heart sings? "oh yeah, and that just tells you how much Roy was loved, and guess what, the knot in my stomach seems to have disappeared temporarily" Temporarily? "well yes, I still have to move and that could cause an ulcer or two or three" so uncle don what are you going to take with you? "I don't know, I'll probably end up arriving in Creston with a guitar and and a backpack, I should have a been a hobo" and a lot of memories of Toronto? "yes, that I'll have, unbelievable really, it's been quite a journey" and you are so quiet "I know, why things happen to me is beyond me, I try to keep under the radar"

uncle don, so what will be your first enactment as the Great, Great Grand Poobah? "the world, universe and several galaxies gets every Mondays off" And then? "I'll have a chat with Ger and Kev" about what? "annoying me" annoying youm? "and I'll point out to them that if they annoy me too much I'll firebomb the lunchroom at Comfort's and change the name of the business to Painfort's" I thought they were cute uncle don? "well they are but I may have to weld Ger to a logging truck which is about to take off for points unknown" and Kevin? "this could get complicated" complicated? "well yes, how does one torture an individual enough whom can raise an eyebrow and make one want to jump off a tall building.

But you will mow the lawn won't you uncle don? "no one realizes how much I'm looking forward to mowing the lawn" what else will you look forward to? "being with Anita and discussing the flora and fauna" As I write this, I feel so inadequate because I'm never going to be able to live up to the Storm/Douville high standards. Not a chance. I can't do it. And especially since I've realized I can write good which is only lately (the last six seconds probably). But I've noticed that in talking to Ger and Kev, my creativeness is better. I need to get out and about again. I suppose biking and being with persons at Market Probe is good but my forte is writing about family. You seem to be doing okay. Yes, but I can't believe some of the things that are happening out there. I've got to be there. In what regards? If I listed them I'd run out of room on the computer. Suffice to say wow.

Yes, Greg asked me how can I move from downtown Toronto to Creston. I had no answer really. How I can tell him that my family is the most precious thing in the world that belies talking about. I've noticed that here in Toronto, they don't quite 'get' it. Okay I slightly might be forgetful (which I'll dispute until I'm buried).

Persons in Toronto don't let me lift heavy objects and/or pamper me a touch. Which I don't mind but really it get's annoying. Is there an opening for a heavy-duty mechanic at Painfort's (I mean Comforts). I love grease as long as I don't get any of it me. Several times I've wanted to hug Ger upon arrival but couldn't: So I will arrive at Comforts on my bike in blue velcro with a helmet on: uncle don, whom are you? I'm your uncle? "you look like a blue popsickle" I resent that, blue is my favourite colour and I'm here to lift some heavy objects, where are they? "out back" "any beer in the fridge, I'll have one while I'm thinking about how long I'll be laid up due to back spasms and external injuries" "and by the way whom is taking me home for supper?" "you haven't lifted a finger yet uncle don"

So I go see Kevin. Kev? what? Ger is annoying so I used a flare nut wrench on his extremities and now he is incapacitated for six or seven years. How are you? I'm busy. You are busy? I'm busy. Let me take notes, in what way are you busy, you look idle to me. I'm thinking. About what? The price of wire cutters in Chicago, by the way, you look like a blue popsicle, what's with the velcro? When I hang your bod from a rafter and use your bod as a training ground for commandos, I'm hoping you will understand while you scream for mercy at the top your lungs.

uncle don? why are you able to write so well about pain? I hadn't thought about it but I presume it's because I have annoying relatives who ask silly questions.

Their could be a better pic of two persons who love each other but I don't know where. And Julie has ten million faults, but that is my niece and she looks awfully cute to me. I don't know how you don't get cute out of Julie. Note Roy's white socks and slippers. I wear grey socks and slippers, I'm slighty more fashion concious. And I now wear slippers at work. I'm the only person whom wears slippers at Market Probe in their history of inception. Me and Roy knew/know how important it is/was to have comfy piggly wigglies''

When I look at this picture, I see a lot of Dad in Roy. Nothing wrong with that, it can be a good thing, I don't know why I grieve so much. I don't have a picture of Marlene (the greatest person in the history of mankind and beyond). My grief knows no bounds because I can understand what you've all had to go through, I didn't want you all to suffer but you have.

If I have anything to do with it (which I don't) not a single one of you willl suffer again. Ever.

uncle don?: "this had better be important" "in some complicated, insane way, I think your family loves you" "you've been drinking too much, not a chance" "they might" "I'm broke, don't have a dime to my name and if needed I'd used all my nephews' hips bones as a bridge across the tundra" "that hasn't seemed to deter them" "Hi hate neil, robin, jim, ger and kev and several others" "really" "in a cute way" "how can you hate persons persons in a cute way?" "I may be the only person in the history of makind whom can do that" "so you will have to kill one of them in order for your threats to seem plausible, whom do you choose as an example?"


"Justin?" "Justin" "I thought you loved Justin" "Well I do, but I'm thinking of his putrid, bloated bod floating upside down in and among the fronds and a grin comes to my face" "If Justin decides to flee whom would be your second choice be to kill? "It would be easy to say Colin, although I might have already used his bod on a spit at Walmart demonstrating the do's and don't of barbecuing humans, so maybe Tyler" "Tyler" "I thought you loved Tyler" "well I do but I'm thinking of using his bod as an example of how an uncle can torture family but yet receive sympathy from the rest of the world"

"you haven't mentioned Ger, uncle don" "I don't want to be overt, and I haven't yet figured out how to slice his bod up into a million pieces without it losing its charm" "uncle don?" "what" "Kevin has been egging you on lately" "a little, he gives me ideas, I need ideas" "perhaps he's giving you bad ideas" "I can't imagine how, a writer needs new ideas and if it involves torture, I can't imagine that being a bad thing"

"so uncle don, when you move to Creston and perhaps live at Kevin's, how will you cope?" "with whom" "Kevin" "he''s cute isn't he but I assume he'll buy me a large dog with huge fangs dripping with saliva whom I'll train to kill small, white, wiry humans at first sight" "that sounds like Kevin" "it's a coincidence"

"uncle don?" "oh gawd not you again, can't you leave me alone for a moment?" "remember when you were complaining about cold weather?" "maybe" "so Toronto is going to break a record today for heat and humidity and smog" "not a moment too soon" "elderly persons are being carted away in droves and I note your heart is beating at a rapid pace and if your pulse was any weaker it would be non-existant" "I love this weather" "and there is sweat coming out of your tonsils" "I had them taken out" "okay gonads, but you can't complain can you?" "Why can't Toronto ever be moderate, just once, I was freezing two days ago"

I've had a knot in my stomach for a long time now, knowing that Roy is going. And as Bob says: "we need to stick together, our ranks are getting thin" So bob is now appointed the Great, Great Poobah because I decline. Bob will be good at it.

Of course, if I was to talk about Roy it would be different than anyone else. "we got a tv bob, Roy bought one?" "yes, he did, they went up to Parsons he went worked all summer and him and Dad came back. Hey, Bob, I missed Roy and Dad so much. and so did you (although you probably didn't know it because you were cute).

I watched Roy a few times in his prime. And so did Mom: "Roy, quit, you're aren't that good" as Roy poked playfully poked mom in the ribs. Only Roy could do that. If I did that, I'd be flung across the hallway. Roy was special. Dad thought those so, Bert thought so, Leo did and Bob and I thought so. Roy looked after us. And Marlene and Mom certainly thought Roy was special.

And so me and Bob watched "what's cooking" from Spokane. I actually remember dad and mom and me and bob listening to radio. We had a big radio and we listened to "the creaking door", the "green hornet" and other radio shows. "mom?" "yes?" It 's Monday, why do you have to iron every Monday?"

I was wierd from day one. Even today, people note how quiet I am and think I'm dumb. I adhere to Dad's theory: "if you don't have nothing to say, why say it" Someone said that to me last week: why are you so quiet don?. I couldn't answer him. Those "in the know" at work get me. I don't think you guys get me, perhaps, I don't do crap. I've spent all my life listening to it. I don't care anymore about that.

But when I hear it, I will continue to listen respectfully, just don't expect me to react. I can detect B.S. from a mile away and when I hear it I tune it out. Everyone can B.S. me all they want. Just know that if I think it's B.S. then I turn you off. You will never notice but my mind will be elswhere and thinking about something else before you can blink. Although my family can hold me at attention:

Unlce don, you have a boring family even though they are cute. They may not be boring. Thank good gawd they are the least boring persons on the face of earth. Uncle don, would you perhaps have them less boring? I'm thinking about it. They aren't quite as exciting as I would have hoped but yet they have a certain cache about them.


Wouldn't that be nice, but they are too boring. Look at Jim for example, I've seen more actve corpses.

The roving reporter

Maybe life will turn out to be the way it should be. It wouldn't bother me to rove when I get to Creston. The old fashioned way, I don't watch tv and I'm terrible at darts but I'm really interested in people, especially if they are related to me. And I'm almost positive I'll bike to Alberta to see Bob and Lorraine and Neil and Kim at least once. They are the lucky ones, they will live far away.

Kevin has put something in my mind. You don't think I won't want to stop in at Comforts and visit with Ger and be ignored by Kevin. And visit with Robin at least once a week while he's 'working' (we all know he doesn't really work). We could have a koffee klatch. And Leo, I'd be at his place and we'd talk about old war wounds. I don't find being sixy-one that old. Sometimes I do. And Robin and Karen are celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary:

"Wow, yes, time does fly. I remember when us kids put on a little party for Mom and Dad's 25th, and they seemed old then. I don't feel old - well, not usually.
We went to the concert at the Rec Center here last night - they had Aaron Pritchett for the Blossom Fest.
We are heading down to Idaho tomorrow for a 4-5 day golfing holiday for our anniversary.
I'm so going to kick someone's ass - not anyone in particular - could be someone just moving out here to God's Country.
Going to get some yard work done today before we take off. Have to pick up Colleen from the airport at 6. She's been in Winnipeg the last week and half at a varsity club tournament and she was asked to stay on for the National team ID camp. Pretty heady stuff.
See you when you get here
Robin"

I must admit I love family. And of course now Robin thinks he's a good golfer. And I think Ger does to. Can a roving reporter whom can golf circles around them be dispassionate? I'll pat them on the back as I stride off the green. Can a roving reporter be a serial killer? When I golf with Kevin I'm not uptight but get me on the golf course with Ger and all my senses become attuned to competitiveness. It's probably because Kev is n0t a good golfer, he's rather irratic. Kevin is the only person I cheer for on the golf course. In my life, I've never seen anyone hit worse shots. And of course when Kevin hits a bad shot (which 99.99% of the time is off the first tee) he gets mad. Kevin can throw a golf club further than anyone I've ever met: "uncle don?" "yes kev" "can I borrow your one through nine irons?" "why?" "I seem to have an empty golf bag"

And of course one should watch Ger when he golfs. His body english is to be admired. And he's the only person in the history of mankind who can talk while teeing off and hit a good shot. "ger, so you can hit a three wood farther than anyone in the history of mankind, except maybe for Colin, just hit the ball" "maybe I should use a driver uncle don" "this is a par three and it's 98 yards long and you are going to use a driver?" And of course when Ger gets on the green, one wants to bring out a hatchet (in golfing terms, a sand wedge) and dismember him: "ger?" "yes uncle don?" "you are an inch from the hole, why are you reading the green?" "there is a break and I see an undulation" "an inch doesn't undulate unless one is a micro-biologist with a very powerful microscope" "ger?" "yes uncle don?" "are you pain sensitive?" "I'm not sure uncle don" "well you are about to find out"